Tuesday, October 02, 2018

Admitting Needing More?

Things are plugging along.  I have been fighting a nasty headache for several days, so I have not replied to your comments to the last TWO posts.  I am so sorry.

I got a spanking the other night just to remind me of my role.  It was a bit softer, but much longer than normal.  I was actually surprised I did not feel it the next day.  I do think I need to talk to the Duke about the lecture.  He used to do them, and with no talking at all, I'm finding I don't focus as well, or center myself into the role if I don't hear his voice, or what he expects of me.  I didn't leave feeling submissive.  Now, the little romp we had afterwards was absolutely delicious. ;)  But I didn't find I was any more submissive leaving the spanking than I was going into it.  I hope I can bring it up in a respectful way without making him question himself.  I want to stay silent on it... but I know his hope for it, the reason he did it, was to establish our roles, and if that did not happen for me, I have to find a way to respectfully admit that.

How is your week going?

Since I got some good feedback about the free books I shared a couple weeks ago, thought I'd share one here that is only free for a few days.  It's not a novel you can download, sorry... though maybe you can copy and paste it?  Not sure of the rules on it.  It's a book that Stormy Night Publications has for free this month.  It came out a few chapters every week, and the end came out this weekend.  It's free to read until October 6th.  It's called Daddy Takes the Reins by Kelly Dawson.  I wasn't drawn to this book because of the very light age play, but because of the look at Tourette's it provided. I have to admit, I have never known someone in real life with Tourette's, so I cannot say for certain that the portrayal was accurate, but it was an amazing look.  It really drew me in.  You could feel the character's discomfort and fight at times to control it, and also the beauty of when she had help.  Yet she was a strong woman, as well as needing cherishing.  You can find the book to read here.  It is the last chapters on this page, but at the top you will see the link to all the previous chapters.
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6 comments:

  1. Windy10/02/2018 8:16 pm

    It is difficult to ask for more from our guys when they are trying, isn't it? Ugh! Just don't do what I did the one time afterwards and said, "I'm bored." Oh gosh, that was dumb of me! Best wishes on how you decide to break it to him gently. Hugs! Windy

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    1. EsMay10/02/2018 8:51 pm

      OH MY!!!! LOL How did that play out for your bottom??? I will be sure NOT to do that. :) We actually had a chat about it earlier, and it went really well. :) I left the decision to him about how the next spanking will go, but I was respectfully honest about how I felt during it, and left it at that. :)
      Hugs, EsMay

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  2. Roz10/03/2018 4:14 am

    Hi EsMay,

    Gosh, I hope the head ache clears soon, that is no fun.

    I totally get needing to hear the words too and not just the spanking. I agree, you should talk to the Duke and let him know what you need. It sure isn't easy though.

    As for Kelly, she writes awesome cowboy stories and is a fellow kiwi :) She actually suffers from Tourette's syndrome herself so has first hand experience. She has incorporated it into the story to give readers some insight into Tourettes, which most people know little about. It also adds an interesting element to the book,

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. EsMay10/03/2018 8:08 am

      Hi, Roz. :) Thankfully we had a good talk yesterday, and we'll see how we go from there. :)

      I didn't know that about Kelly. It really seemed like a very deep and personal look into Tourette's, I'm glad it was honest. It really tugged at me to read those scenes. I have read one other of hers before this, the sequel funnily enough. So I hope to read more in the future. :)
      Hugs, EsMay

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  3. willie10/03/2018 7:45 am

    I find spankings very hollow without words. On the flip side I can go from unfocused and not feeling it, like being beat by a feather to it feeling like a very hard spanking if he manages to find the right words to reach me.

    I remember years ago sitting down with B and talking about what words he had already used that at the time found their way to me. I used his own words as an example, hoping he wouldn't feel like he had failed if I did. Later the discussion moved onto other things he might be able to say to build upon that. He actually took notes ( ones I had to ask him to refer to once and a while later down the road too).

    I think once they see the desired results they build on those times. However if we choose to remain silent, they may see desired results that really aren't there.

    Anyway sounds like you found a way to talk about it, so good for you.

    willie

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    1. EsMay10/03/2018 8:04 am

      Hi, Willie, yes, we did have a good talk. :) But I really like your idea of writing things down. I have in the past on things because the Duke can forget things easily, but I never thought to in this case, but I think he might like that idea. I'll ask him. :) I do find the same, if the Duke finds the right words, it can completely change everything. Amazing, isn't it? :)
      EsMay

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