We had to take down all our posts for a while. We did not realize that to put them back up would repost them in everyone's feeds. We apologize for that. We also will do our best, as life allows, to get the rest of the posts up as soon as possible. :)

Sincerely, The Duke and EsMay

Monday, September 04, 2017

"Toy" Storage ;)

With a child that no longer respects the fact that we may have dresser drawers we don't want them in, lol, and my parents living with us, and the Duke's family visiting often and staying in our room when they do, we needed new storage for our "toys".  I was starting to worry someone would finally find our secret stash.  Our DD/Submission books, our DD contract, our intimate toys and DD toys, and our spanking implements.

So I've been looking for the past few years.  Nothing seemed to fit our needs.  Any adult toy storage we could find only had a couple slots, and with some toys being glass, some silicone, some metal, etc, where I didn't want any two toys being able to bump into each other, those did NOT fit our needs.  Now, we have these, and we don't have enough toys to fill up all the slots, ;) but now we can go wild and get more stuff. :P  lol  Not really, but it will be nice to have more room for it we do get more later.

After much thought, I had decided to have a box built with a lip in it for a cutlery tray or two to rest on and stuff be stored underneath.  It was the best way to keep everything separate I could think of.  Finally found these beauties today after a year of searching.  They're second hand, in like new condition, for only $5 each!  Most of the dividers in the one on the right are removable. :)  So now to have the box built to the dimensions of these trays with a lip for each, and then paddles and such will be stored in the bottom, and these trays will just lift out.  So excited.  We'll be putting a lock on it, and everything secured and tucked away in one box.  I will have a lot more peace of mind when this is finally done. :)

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Keeping On Communicating

If you are a DD or D/s couple, you know that communication has to become a key part of how you live this lifestyle.  So when all the sudden the Duke seemed to be hiding something, I was struggling on what to do, or how to handle it, without being disrespectful. 

He's been quite down all the sudden.  There were times of joy, but they were short lived compared to how often he seemed to be very depressed.  I would ask him what was wrong, and he would tell me that nothing was wrong.  I would ask if something happened at work, and again, he would tell me nothing.  After several weeks, I really worried something was going on.  Doubts started to creep in, and one of them was that he was beginning to regret our marriage or he was beginning to be interested in someone else.

So I had to bite the bullet and follow my rule of not keeping secrets, of not allowing something to fester inside of me without talking to him about it.  So I went to him and admitted that I felt he was really hiding something from me.  He said he wasn't.  I told him something was wrong.  He said there wasn't.  I braved myself up and asked in nothing but a whisper if there was someone else, I feel sick even remembering how scared I was in that moment.  Thankfully he laughed, said no, there was no one else, and comforted me.  I really can't see him ever doing that, but I had no idea what was going on.  We talked.  Come to find out, he is down, though he couldn't really put his finger on why.  I know work is hard, and we've been extra busy lately, and he said those may be it.  So for the next little bit, we're going to try to really be low key so he can get some down time. 

Thankfully no spanking was issued for asking if there was someone else. :)  Nor for being persistent.  But I am so thankful, for the millionth time, that we have learned these great communication skills, and that I have the rule of not allowing things to fester.  I know if I let it go long term, I could have worked myself into quite a tailspin.  And I honestly believe left to fester, his would get bad too.  Hopefully cutting things back for now will help him get to a happier, more peaceful, place.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

NEW POST - DD and Weight Loss?

Hello guys.  So I have a question for you.  I have heard some of you use DD in the past for helping you in your weight loss goals, and wondered if any of you would be able to share things that worked for you, or things that were real pitfalls in using DD to help you towards your goals?

Here is what is going on for us.  I got an early birthday/mother's day gift of a pedometer because it was on sale quite cheap.  I'd been wanting one for close to a year, and we decided the splurge was worth it.  It has really helped.  I got one with a heart rate monitor (Garmin Vivosmart HR) so that I could see how I was doing with that as well.  Well my first day was May 15th, so about a month and a half I have been doing it.  Seeing the numbers on my wrist band really help.  I am much more active now.  I would say I was only getting about 5k steps a day before, now it says I average 13k steps a day, and that's in total since the beginning.  I just started taking Sunday as a rest day the past three Sundays, and seem to be getting about 6-8k those days.  It also helps to see how many minutes I've been active, and to see my resting heart rate go down over time.  It's now 67 on average for resting heartrate!  My first couple of days, it was so hard to get below 100, and near impossible to get below 85 and 90.

So right now this is all new to me, and I am very motivated to keep doing this, but I know a day will come when I just want to quit.  I know me.  I'm hoping it's a way off, but I want to prepare anyway.  I want to put some rules into place.  So far I haven't changed much of how I eat, but I've still lost 10 pounds as of yesterday, though I had lost none in the first month, so glad to finally see some results.  I have changed my lunch to a salad at least three days a week, but that's it diet wise.  I am doing changes slowly so that I stick to them.  I usually jump both feet in and give up pretty quickly.  I am hoping that by making a small change every 3-4 weeks, I'll be more likely to stick with it.

So... what rules do you have for yourself to help with your weight loss, or weight maintenance goals?  Do you have to be active so many minutes/days a week?  Do you have to reach a certain number of steps?  Are you allowed cheat days if you're dieting?  And what were your consequences if you cheated or didn't work out, etc?  Would just love to know the things that are working for you, and maybe know about some of your pitfalls as well so that we can learn from them. :) :)

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Finding Our Groove

SO, I think DD is on a good path for us right now.  I haven't earned any punishment spankings, sorry to disappoint. LOL  We will not add to the fact that I have neither had the time or the energy to act out at all to get one. :P

I have been working on my health more.  Got myself a fitness tracker, and been aiming for 13-15 thousand steps a day for six days a week.  I am feeling better over all, but having a very hard time after I eat all the sudden, so will have to look into that if it doesn't settle soon.  But the great thing is, is how much the Duke is supporting me in all of this.  Before when I would try to lose weight, he'd be okay with it, and occasionally notice how hard I was working, but now, he's very attentive.  He's very supportive, and he's very quick with genuine praise.  And not just "GOOD JOB!"  But "GOOD JOB, Honey!  I know you're tired, and you're working so hard.  I'm proud of you."  and things like that.

It's more of the little things that make me so happy to be in this lifestyle.  He's firm more often, I was so tired last night after 6 hours of a bloated, PAINFUL stomach cramping ordeal.  I was only at 10k steps, but he put his foot down.  I was not doing any more last night, and I needed that.  I needed someone to step up and save me from myself.  And that may be my most favourite part of DD.  The Duke knowing when to save me from myself.  I KNEW I needed to rest, but I also KNEW I had promised myself to get to 13k steps a day if at all possible.  Thankfully I didn't have to decide.

Loving the place we're at.  Playful swats as he catches me alone, having a hard time to keep his hands to himself, last night he even pinned me down just because he could.  He's checking in with me several times a day to see how I'm doing, taking my not so baby anymore when I need half an hour to myself, especially when I was in so much pain yesterday, and on and on.  Something has changed lately... and I'm not sure what it is, but I'm feeling like a teenager in love again.  :)  When I figure out what has caused the change, I'll let you know. :)  But for now, I'm enjoying it. :)

I hope all is well in your worlds.  I know DD is a different world, and I worry about doing these posts sometimes because of how hard DD can be, but it can be REALLY good too. :)  If you're reading, and you're new, please don't think we started off this way, or even got there quickly.  LOL  This has been a long road, a lot of give and take, talking and listening, fighting and making up, tears and joy, broken hearts and healing, and on and on.  The first 2-3 years especially were so hard, and I can't even tell you really how we got through them, except that we decided we weren't going to give up.  Not sure this paragraph matters... but I remember reading posts like this in the early days, and getting very idealistic... and that isn't always bad... but for us it was, and so just to help you see the reality of our road to this point I wanted to share. :)  I think it's been about four and a half years now since we started, about 5 since I started mentioning it... but we're getting there.  I really feel we've found our groove now, and am enjoying it. :) 

PS just realized I still have a bunch of old posts I haven't put back up yet... will try to do that asap... not that they'll get read, but I'd still like to have them up for those of you that write me and tell me you've gone back to the beginning.  Every time I get a message like that, it surprises me, and humbles me.  I am so thankful for my readers.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

A Little Bit Of Fun

Wow, I cannot believe how long it's been since I wrote.  I am so sorry.  We've been sick almost constantly, and it's amazing how time flies when that happens.  Here's hoping that spring brings about health! :)

So today the Duke was taking on guilt over a very small issue, and something he had absolutely no control over.  So I joked that he needed a spanking, and actually got a swat in before he grabbed me by the waist and spanked me.  I laughingly hissed a bit loudly that my parents were in house, and they'd hear!  He only laughed really hard and spanked me firmly three more times.  :)  Our daughter walked in and so the Duke let me go, and I jokingly told her to tell Daddy to be good.  So she obediently said "Be good, Daddy." with a smile.

Just a nice light hearted moment, but I love these moments. :)  The connection between us, the family dynamic, the light hearted fun, all of it.  We get less of these bonding moments together as a family with my parents living with us, so I grab a hold and cherish them when we do get them. :)

Saturday, March 11, 2017

"I do NOT want you to worry about this."

Those are the words that the Duke said to me yesterday when I started to fret over how to tighten up the budget when he got another warning at work for not meeting his sales target.  When his job switched between companies, he was told he would have the same position, which technically he does.  But now they care about sales, and not customer service.  A bad move for the company I think.  Not once in over a year has he been Q&A'ed over how he serves the customer. 

Anyway, I was worried.  He works so hard, his job is very stressful, and he still gives and gives at his job.  And in fact, there are many times he can't meet his quota because there isn't enough customers that meet the criteria for a sale.  Which REALLY bothers me!  How can he be held responsible for something that is impossible for him to accomplish?  Anyway... sorry, little rant.

So when I worried about what to do it if he lost his job, he put his foot down.  Plain and simple, and FIRMLY said.  "I do NOT want you to worry about this."  Of course, my worry got the best of me and I spoke to challenge him... :(  "But I am responsible for the budget, and I need to be working even harder to save us money right now, and..." "I DO NOT want you worrying about this."


Okay.  It is one command I will struggle to obey, but will definitely work on.  Since he is the bread winner in our family, that makes it even more stressful.  I make a bit of money on the side, but no where near enough to cover our expenses.  We do have money saved up, but just shy of the amount needed to replace our oil tank and furnace that have to be replaced in two months.  Actually we have enough for the replacement, but have decided to go $500 more and get a heat pump with forced air instead as it will be much cheaper in the long run.   We will have enough in two months for that, but that leaves no room for needing money for if he loses his job.  We've been trying to save all we can, and still, the house and car have needed repairs, we both missed A LOT of work in February because of winter storms, add a few other unexpected things, and it's all just set us so that our little emergency fund to get us through if a job was lost is now depleted.  But God has never let us go without before, so we just have to trust, and I have to sit down and trust that I can do as the Duke asks of me.  To NOT worry about it... Hope I can do it. :)

Tuesday, February 07, 2017

Last Night

I want to thank everyone that wrote to help calm me down.

All that work up, and nothing happened.  Our daughter got a fever, and with freezing temperatures outside, we decided we had to keep her home, and the Duke did not want me to go by myself.  So I ended up not meeting with my sister after all.  So now I just hope this is the end for now.  I am sad that things have gotten to this point, but the Duke doesn't want me talking to her anymore.  And that actually feels great.  This isn't my decision.  I would decide to keep putting up with the abuse, feeling I had to to keep our relationship going.  But the Duke sees that that isn't good for me.  I feel such relief that this decision is made for me!  I don't need to feel guilty for stepping back either, I'm just obey my husband.  It's out of my hands. :)