Saturday, October 27, 2018

Another Loopy ???

I have been requested to make a handful of carpet beaters for someone.  I'm really excited if I can pull it off. :)  When I went to go look at the supply bag I keep to hold extra stuff from making implements, I found this twisty cord that I'd braided and meant to turn into a loopy some months ago... and somehow never finished it.  Because it's twisted with a twisted ridge running down it, the braid amazingly kept it's shape without unravelling.  So I put a handle on it.  The rope is actually a skipping rope, so I just used the skipping rope handle to make the loopy handle. :)

First of all, why, why do I make implements?  Don't worry, I ask myself this too. :P  Well, I love them, I love seeing if I can do it because I like the challenge of crafting things, and I like us having an array of implements to choose from.  We have a tight budget, and as much as I want some of the fancier ones, we can't afford it.  Well, as always, the Duke felt he had to test this little baby out.  It's about 13 inches or so.

It's super stingy.  Eek.  I keep hoping to find a less severe implement to make, but this is almost as bad as that dreaded carpet beater, which I had made thinking it would be better than the original loopy, lol.  I thought with this braid, it would be less stingy and more thuddy.  Well, in a way it is, but it also stings more than just the regular carpet beater as well.  Augh.  Thank goodness it is quiet though.  I almost wasn't.  lol  And thank goodness I'm learning to keep my position, because I literally had to force myself to stay in place while he gave this baby a try out.

So, this is the conversation the Duke and I had following testing this implement out.

Duke: This may be my favourite now.
EsMay: Even more than the carpet beater?  (Seriously ladies, I need a friggin' gag!  I way too often speak without thinking.)
Duke: I'm not sure.  We'll have to try them both out together for me to see.
EsMay: That day is never going to come.
Duke: We'll see.  (He says with a smile.  Stinker. lol)

I'm not sure how I feel about that.  Excited?  Scared?  Definitely I feel happy with the attention.  He's not had time for me almost all week, and I was missing him.  This makes me feel better.  I asked if we should be thinking of a mid week maintenance to help us keep our roles.  He's going to think about it. :)

Here is a close up of the braid.  I think it's pretty. :)

And here it is beside our old loopy if you've never seen it so that you know what I mean above by them being different.  The old one is made out of nylon covered clothesline wire.


Thursday, October 25, 2018

The tih Toy Store ;) LOL

The email conversation started out so innocently.  Baker replying "Something about them holding a paddle that makes me believe they believe they're in charge!" to a comment I made to her.
I replied "Yeah, we should burn all the paddles.  All us tihs should get together and have a large bonfire."

Which quickly went to what implements we had to burn.  Baker asked if I would burn the new carpet beater.  Oh, that beautiful, NASTY carpet beater.  YES, yes, if it would burn, I might try.  But that sucker is nylon covered galvanized steel.  All that would happen is that the nylon would melt down into the messiest, and probably smelliest pile of goo ever done at a bonfire, and the Duke would be left with nothing but steel... something that would be way more harsh on my poor bottom and would possibly mark the end of EsMay.  You'd all have to have a memorial for me, sad blog posts of remember when she did such and such a thing, and really, who wants to go to all that bother?  ;)

But, never fear, your trusty tihs are always prepared.  I kept sending joking replies, and Baker suggested I share them, and of course, I had to add some on. lol  (Did you know it takes blogger 5 times to realize I wanted to put tihs and not the word this???  Oh, silly auto correct lol)

So, ladies, we put our heads together to decide on how to dispose of every implement we own.  After all, our husbands really have been having way too much fun with them, and all at our expense too! ;)  It really is an unbalanced scale, don't you think?

So, loopies, of course every DD submissive out there wants to get rid of those darn loopies, don't they?  I sure do!  LOL  A horrible implement whose sole goal is to turn innocent little bottoms into quivering piles of raw ground beef.  Really, a cruel implement, that would be considered abusive if ever used on even the largest of animals, that any DD submissive who has had the great fortune to have never met one, should steer clear of at any cost.  They are the unwanted guest at any party, and the one everyone talks about with fearful tones.  So, how would we get rid of said implement?  Burning, like my dreaded carpet beater, would probably poison all the guests at our bonfire.  So we've decided to go into toys.  Yep, ladies, toys, respectable toys, for children. :)  Wouldn't that loopy you have look wonderful with a net sewn around the loop?  Just think of all the fish or butterflies a child could catch if there were able to use your dreaded loopy instead for a fun toy. :)


And what about those horrible silicone spatulas?  Children really do need to have safe versions of drum sticks, especially the younger children who are more apt to swing at something other than their pots and pans drums sets. 

Next we have the aforementioned carpet beater.  Why, it would be a lovely gift for a child playing house, or even better, could be a substitute badminton racquet or tennis racquet!  Think of how I could be blessing a child with endless hours of good old fashioned exercise.  It really is the children I'm thinking of here. ;)  (I'm hurt that some of you are doubting me) lol

Now, canes, dowels and the like are pretty easy to burn down if they're made of wood.  But what if you are one of the unlucky tihs whose HoH/Dom has subjected them to the evils of plastic?  Well, have no fear, just think of how wonderful a child would think it to have a wand to conduct an orchestra with?  Music, they say, is the key to all sorts of genius buried in our children.  Who are we to deprive our children of such opportunities?  Or maybe they could find their future career?  They could play teacher and use it as a chalk board pointer.  Every piƱata needs a good stick to break it open with.  And if it has no grip, it would be a great practice toy for a child who eventually wanted to learn baton.  Races where one participant passes the baton to the next?  The ideas could be endless. :)

Plastic paddles could also be a problem for our toasty bonfire, which, on this cold night is sounding more and more pleasant.  lol  If you do indeed have a plastic paddle, and are good with a drill, just put a hole through the center, and attach a ball on an elastic.  Who didn't have one of those growing up?  Think of the hand eye coordination you could be helping a child acquire.  And if you're not good with a drill, any child would love to have a paddle to play paddle ball, or ping pong. :)  But wait, what if your paddle is of the longer and thinner sort?  Some children just do not do well playing baseball with a round bat.  It's just too hard for them.  Think of the self esteem you would be instilling into them to give them your flat paddle that would connects to beautifully with the ball. :)  The smiles, the cheers, aww, another happy child. :)

So ladies, care to join me as we all gather around a nice toasty bonfire while we make plans for our new toy store?  ;)  I'm ready for a new hobby. ;)  Anyone else?  hehe

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

My Offer For Your DD Blogs

I get scared putting myself out there to help people... so this has been something I've wanted to offer for a while, but get too nervous to.  I've been working on my blog, especially the header, updating it with the implements we have, and getting rid of the ones we no longer do.  I ... wanted to offer... that if anyone wanted a specific graphic, or header, or background made for their blog, I could try if it's something I think I could do, as a gift from me to you, to help you personalize your blog.  Here is some of my work in pictures, and ones in implements, to give you an idea of what I can do, and to understand the limitations I have as well.  :)  If you wanted any of the implements, feel free, or I could make up different ones.  These are all in larger size for the originals except the loopy, forgot to save the original.  Doh.  lol


Sorry, put a watermark over the pictures below, I doubt anyone would steal them, but I made these for other projects for people, and wanted to make sure they didn't get copied and shared for free on some clipart site.  The images are all still mine to use, so if you like one, I can share it with you (no watermark, lol) for your blog, but it will also give you an idea of what I can make if you wanted something specific.  I also created my background and header, but the silhouette was super hard for me, so I probably wouldn't do another one of those. lol  These also are much smaller than the originals.

Anyway... I hope it wasn't stupid and ridiculous to offer.  And no worries if no one would like help, but just wanted to offer. :)  If it was something you were interested in for your blog, this would be a free gift from me to you as a fellow blogger.

Sunday, October 21, 2018

A Crying Spanking - With The Duke

I wanted an eye with a tear drop for this post, please forgive how crude it is, it's my first attempt.  I have never been able to draw, so looked around and found this video that gives tips.  I need to learn more before I ever attempt to draw for you guys again. lol  It has many flaws, but for my first attempt, I am quite proud. :)  I want to try drawing, Duke, so I see the need for drawing pencils in my future. :P  *hint* *hint* :)


So, I love reading DD romances, but one thing that always got to me were the heroines who were crying within the first 10 spanks of a spanking.  I always thought, oh come on, really?  Well, maybe they were already more emotional than I thought, or maybe they really needed a release, so I gave them the benefit of the doubt.  Well, jot me down as one of the women who cried without the right mental state in the first 10 strokes.

This spanking was to help the Duke feel his dominance again. It's been missing the past couple of days besides trying out our new implements yesterday (in yesterday's post).  He's been feeling unsure of himself again, not really checking in, seeming depressed.  So I offered to let him spank me.  Okay, so this was done ten minutes after a shower, before church.  I know about wet bottoms, but I thought that was long enough.  Ladies, let me tell you, you need a good YEAR after a shower for your bottom to be dry enough to spank with the carpet beater I showed you yesterday.  TRUST ME on this. :P OUCH!

I couldn't believe how much that implement hurt.  I kept jumping and getting slightly out of position, where I was ordered back.  No matter how hard I tried, my body jumped from the incredible pain, and within 10 strokes I was bawling.  Not just crying, but full out sobs.  I wasn't even emotional when I went into it.  I was actually in a good mood.  But boy, was I hurting and almost fearful of the carpet beater after that.  It was a complete fight to stay in position, I don't remember a spanking ever hurting half as much.  I even had to ask for a break at one point for 20 seconds because I just couldn't keep in position.  I feel, even spanking wise, we are starting over in our dynamic, which surprises me.  I couldn't believe I had to ask for a break, before, I hadn't had to ask for one since our very earliest days, if even then.  I was so mad at myself, but I got right back in and said to forget the break, I wanted to finish and do this just the way he'd planned to.  Hopefully next spanking I can behave, because that's the second spanking in a month I had to take a break, and I know I can do better than that.  I almost didn't share about needing a break... but you guys deserve the truth.

After we were done, and the Duke's hands started to wander, ;) I told him I was tossing the carpet beater into the garbage!  He said no.  Um... shouldn't the creator of an object get to decide it's future???  Okay, yes, I was crazy to make the thing, but I'd just wanted to try it out... I thought it would be so pretty.  Yeah, pretty and LETHAL.  Hasn't anyone else out there just wondered about something?  Just wanted to try it out?  And regretted it?  You understand... right?  I regret this!  LOL 

So, another sore bottom today.  But after it all, I feel loved, and special.  

On a side note, saw a boy today whose mother I am friends with.  We don't see each other often though.  Her son was born 4 days after our son's due date.  If you don't know, in 2011 we had a son that came early and only lived 2 hours.  Seeing him, how big he is, just reminded me of how much we've lost.  He got up in the middle of church to get a hug from his mother, and then went back to his seat.  All I could think of was that I never would have that moment with our son.  But, I have to remember, God blessed us with our daughter almost four years later, and someday, when I pass from this life, I'll see my little boy again.  I have felt ever since church that I should ask for another spanking... but wondering if that will appear greedy to the Duke.  Either way, I think I'll ask for one.  Almost 8 years since we lost our son, and I'm amazed at how the ambush moments can just drag me back as if a day hasn't passed.  That hasn't happened in a year or more if I'm remembering correctly.  I'm glad they're getting further between.  DD really helped in the past, and feel it could help today.  Eek, pray for my poor bottom though.  :)

The Duke's Deductions:  
I think it is a really good drawing. I am always impressed by how artistic Esmay can be. I look at it and I'm like "wow I didn't know you knew how to draw that." My drawings always look like bad stick figures. I draw the same way now that I did when I was like 8.

Yeah I was surprised during the spanking. I saw Esmay working very hard to make that implement, and I was proud of her doing that, and so I wanted to show her how grateful I was and how I was happy to use her creation. LOL I guess she underestimated her creation. I was surprised when she asked for a break, because I didn't think she was getting to that point in the spanking. Overall though I thought it was a good session we had. I am so thankful I have a wife who helps me like that.

I did see that boy today as well. I can see what we are missing. Actually before Esmay shared what she had felt, I had watched him play with some boy toys, and I also kind of wished I had somebody that I could play boy toys with, and how much fun that would be.

Augh, there goes my heart.  That man is so special to me. 

Saturday, October 20, 2018

New Implements!!! So Excited!

As many of you know, we've been trying to find a way to conduct spankings quietly because we need them back in our lives.  So today I will show our four new implements! :)  Sorry, I'm just A LOT a little excited about them! :)

Isn't this pretty!?!?! :)  I realized while making it that it even has a heart shape near the top, how appropriate is that? (the two top side by side loops form the top of the heart)  I love that.  I have wanted this style of antique Victorian carpet beater for quite a while, but whenever I tried different ropes and cords, it either ended way too large, or too flimsy.  I wanted something small for over the lap spankings.  Then, when mentioning an old cat I used to have to a fellow blogger this week, I recalled the pet lead we used to use for him that was tucked away.  It's like a clothesline, but half as thick, and covered in red vinyl instead of clear.  I literally only had a foot left of the cord when I was done!  So thankful there was enough.  Here is the picture I used to look at while trying to figure out the loops and crossovers.  And here is the link for how to do the handle from a former post I did.  I actually had to look at it as I had forgotten how.  I put a length from a metal coat hanger in to reinforce the handle.  I am pleased to say that this carpet beater, or should I say "bum beater", is only 14 inches long from tip to tip. :)

Now, this implement is not completely quiet, though it is not much louder than our loopy.  BUT, the great thing is, is that it does not sound like a spanking at all.  It sounds like a stick tapping against the wall or something. :)  I'm sure we can come up with some kind of excuse for the sound if we ever need. :)  It feels just like a paddle!  I can't tell you the last time I was spanked by a paddle because it's been a few years I believe.  I'm so excited.  I missed that feeling.  Right now we can't even do his hand on my bottom unless we sneak in a quick tap or two, it's too loud, but this, feels more intimate than the dowel and loopy.  It hits a large area all at once... it's like a hug and a spanking all in one... I know that probably sounds funny, but I felt so covered when the Duke tried this out on me today.  It was amazing.  I know it's going to be a favourite of mine, even though it packs quite a punch.  BTW, if you ever make a handle like this, wear gloves, I did half last, half today, and I have blisters on my pinky fingers and my index fingers from how right I had to keep pulling the rope.

Here are all of our thin whippy implements together.  The three longest are our new ones.  Two dowels, and one window blind wand.  The new window blind wand (see through, far right), is 20", called a tilt wand, and is exactly like the 12" one we have but longer.  I LOVE IT!  It's so whippy, and stings so good, which I'll probably hate when it comes to punishments. lol  I wanted a longer one because the 12" we have is just too short to do much of anything, so glad we tried the longer one.  The thinner, longer dowel is pretty stingy as well.  The medium sized dowel is good too, but it's more thuddy and less stingy.  I did different colour grips on the dowels so that the Duke could easily grab one and know which he had without having to compare sizes.

So, here above are all our thin quiet implements now, and here to the side are our three wider implements.  Loopy, and two different carpet beater styles.  Have to say, I love having these now.  All the louder implements are now buried at the bottom of our chest, and these lay on the very top of everything in the chest so they're easy access.  :) 
Sitting on a hot bottom right now after testing out our four new treasures, and feeling very happy. :)  This is going to make living our dynamic so much easier. :)

Now we have eight quiet implements in total.  SOOO happy with them.  Only one did I not make or alter besides adding grips.  The short tilt wand.  Even the longer one was 27" cut and sanded down to 20".  I asked the Duke if he minded that they were all hand made or altered by me, and he said he loved that. :)  Thank goodness.

Thursday, October 18, 2018

A Duke One Liner

The Duke has some pretty funny one liners, and this one had me laughing a bit more than normal. :)

My back was really hurting last night and all the sudden I couldn't move, I thought I'd put it out, but it ended up being acid reflux.  I'm often battling it, a constant headache with other headaches on top, and bad allergies that leave me susceptible to illnesses.  I seem to be ill more often than healthy, and I'm always falling behind when I am, and spend my healthy time trying to catch up with the house.  I looked at him and said "I'm sorry you always get the crappy end of the deal with me as your wife."

Never one to allow me to accept blame for my health, he waggled his eye brows and said "Well, the end I use to keep you in line is the crappy end."  He then patted my rear end and smiled as he brought me up snug against his tall frame.  The Stinker. LOL

Not sure anyone else will find that funny, but I did. :)  He could have easily told me the health issues I fight aren't my fault like he usually does, but I love how this time he used humour to diffuse my moment of self pity. :)

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Getting The Lecture Down

Submission here is growing, and my goodness, so is dominance.  I was spanked Friday, as you know.  Then on Saturday, I was spanked for no other reason than that we'd been testing out implements again, trying to find ways to drown out the noise.  By the time we were done, I was ready, and so was he.  It was long and hard, and great.  Sunday we didn't... maybe he took a day of rest? :P  And then, last night I was frazzled.  Too many things going wrong, headache, sprained ankle, lack of sleep, and we were about to go to chat (the ADDS chat that happens on Monday evenings for DD and D/s couples).  I told the Duke I needed help.  I can deal with being cranky on my own, but it takes hours.  I try to convince myself to calm down, to take a breath, that I'm in control of my emotions, but it takes hours for it to work.  But a quick trip bent over the bed, with the Duke lecturing like the Dom Boss I'd always dreamt of but never expected to get, and I was in my happy place with a hot bottom and guidelines to follow in two minutes.

It started off like this while getting some snacks ready:
EsMay: I'm going crazy, I might need some help.
Duke: You look like you're doing really well, I can't tell at all that you're upset.
EsMay: I'm like one thing away from losing it.  (complete with embarrassed frown)
Duke: Do you need me to take care of this, or can you do it on your own?
EsMay: I need some help.  (boy was that hard to admit)

He took me to the bedroom, got out the window blind wand, it's about a foot long.  Snappy, but quiet.  He got me to bend over the side of the bed, and then the swats started, but so did the lecture.  This may not be word for word, but it's close, as close as I can remember.

Duke:  I know you're feeling upset, but I expect you to keep calm.  (whack, whack, whack, brought my pants down)  You are not ruled by your emotions.  You can control them.  When we are done, I want this bad attitude to be gone.  (whack, whack, whack, brought my panties down)
EsMay: It will be, it's already working.  You can stop now.  (boy was he hitting hard, harder than normal, and he'd just started on my bare skin!)
Duke:  You don't decide if it's working.  I decide, and I think we need to go longer.  (gosh, darn it all, and my leg kicked up unintentionally at this point because he started hitting harder)  Get that foot down! 
EsMay:  (GULP)  Sorry. 
Duke:  I want you to calm, I want you to let all this flow out of you so that you're in a good mood for chat. You can do this.  I want you to try. (whack, whack, whack, WHACK, WHACK, WHACK)
EsMay: I promise, I'll be calm.  It's already worked.  I don't feel upset or cranky anymore.  Thank you.  (and it was the truth, I wasn't just trying to get out of it at this point)
Duke:  Okay.  I think you are right, it is working.  Remember, I decide when we're done, not you.  Now, if you aren't in a good mood for chat, we'll be right back here afterwards.  Do you understand? (still whacking)
EsMay: Yes.
Duke: You can get up now, and pull your pants and panties back up.  (finally, it stops, thank goodness, we hug and then I pull them up)

And we did have a good chat. :)  I couldn't focus as well as I would have liked, but I still had fun, and we got to discuss some fun things.  It was about DD and Transparency last night. :)  And then one of the Hoh's asked about how each woman viewed their submission afterwards which led to more discussion. :)

The Duke is really stepping into his own, and I don't think he'll need those other posts of suggestions on things to say, but I think I'll still do the posts.  I might do one later this week, just in case they can help anyone else since I've already mostly put them together anyway. :)  Loving this place we're in.  I'm getting lots of swat bys, his hand possessively on the back of my neck or shoulder, attention, kisses, loving, and sore bottoms. :)  I asked him if the things he is saying to show dominance, and the lectures, are what he thinks and feels, or if he's doing what he thinks I expect.  He said they're how he thinks and feels, and it's nice to be able to say them.  I have to agree. :)

By the way, changed my title bar for the first time in like five years... can anyone guess what new implement is there now? :)

If you're ever free Monday nights at 8:30 pm EST, feel free to join us. :)  You need to read the rules before you can click to enter. :)

Sunday, October 14, 2018

Are You A Contradictory Wife Too? :)

Okay, I'll admit, sometimes I'll say one thing, and do another, or vice versa.  Sometimes I'll say one thing, and the next day say something completely different without realizing how contradictory I am being.  It is something I work on, because I want to be consistent, but let's face it... I'm a woman, and half the time what we want changes from day to day, if not hour to hour.  lol  Or maybe that's just me.  :P


Here are two very short videos that someone shared on Facebook this week, and I have to admit, some of it was more like me than I will admit to you all. ;)  :P  I haven't ever heard of this video blogger, have you guys?  I can't say if she's good or not, but these videos are awesome.  I will admit I was not like her dominant statement though, though the first part of that conversation did happen this summer. lol

If you  have 4.5 minutes, I think you'll be highly entertained.  I had to show them to the Duke so that he would understand I was not alone in being a confusing wife, and let him know what some of the comments on Facebook said, though I got these videos off of YouTube in case anyone didn't have a Facebook account.  I try not to be a contradictory wife, but by nature, I'm as contradictory as this woman.  lol  Poor Duke.  It is something I have been working on because I think that was part of what was messing him up in starting DD again.  The more consistent I become, the more consistent he is able to become.

Video 1 - 1 min 57 secs long.
Video 2 - 2 mins 39 secs long.

Saturday, October 13, 2018

My Punishment Spanking

So, I got a bit out of hand.  Family is visiting, and I got distracted tonight by hanging out with them.  I had told the Duke I was going to get our daughter a bedtime snack.  An hour later she's still up, I had only meant to hang out with family for a minute, but soon it was an hour, and I realized the Duke was hiding away in our room.  He'd had a long day at work and needed a few minutes to himself.

I was upset.  Why hadn't he attempted to put our daughter to bed for me?  When I oh so politely asked him.  (What, can't a woman be upset and use her angelic voice on her husband?)  Okay, I was a bit snippy.  Not as snippy as I felt, but still, it wasn't respectful.  He said I had told him I was getting her a bedtime snack, and that I would be back.  I got more upset, but held it in.  But then he got more upset.  So I told him that he was allowed to spank me and tell me that if I had wanted him to put our daughter to bed, all I had to do was leave my family for a minute, let him know, and then I could have gone back.

And then I wished I could take it back!  But he wouldn't let me.  I said I wanted to undo my idea.  Nope, didn't work.  He said we needed to do it to restart our dynamic.  I told him we could do that the next thing I did wrong!  He didn't agree. :P  But hey, I tried. :P

So, I put our daughter to bed after we said prayers together.  Then went to our room.  I put the oscillating fan on, and a mp3 player playing music.  We tested it later, it didn't do one little thing to hide the sound.  OH MY GOODNESS. lol

I was told to strip.  *GULP*  Not to question my husband, and Duke, if you read this, honest, no questioning here.  *whistling innocently*  But why does a body have to be naked to be spanked?  Wouldn't just the butt being bare be enough?  Or even better, what if we added a few layers on top of our panties and pants???  Wouldn't that be the very best way to be spanked?  You know, a pair of flannel pajamas, pair of jogging pants.  I'm all for adding a pillow between layers as well, you can never be too safe. :P  Anyone agree???? :)

And then he told me he was going to use the cane and the loopy.  Um... we seriously need to think up some cool names for them like some of you in blogland have.  Because "I'm going to use the cane and the loopy." just doesn't have the same feel to it as "I'm going to be using Bite and Thunder."  Right?  lol  We'll have to figure out what to call them.

So, anyway, I was told to bend over the bed.  I was able to take the wooden dowel better than I hoped.  He spanked me, again and again, a good 40-50 times at least I'm guessing.  The loopy though, he kept hitting the same spot closer to my right hip, and after about 12-15 swats, my legs came out from underneath me and I almost collapsed to the floor.  The pain was so bad.  I forced myself right back into position, but it happened a second time, and that time my knees did hit the floor.  I am not proud of myself for that. :( 

He lectured, and man, my last post must have resounded with him, because he kept me with him the whole time.  He told me I had to talk to him about things, that I could have taken a minute away to tell him what I wanted from him.  He told me how much he liked how red my bottom was getting and how I was doing good during the spanking until he went too long on the loopy.  At that point though he told me to keep my foot down and to stay still.  *augh*  I tried so hard.  Thankfully he understood and was not mad at me.  I am so glad he talked during the spanking so that my head was kept on him.

Afterwards he pulled me in and we cuddled.  He was a little too happy to have me still naked and him fully dressed.  That lead to me pleasing him, and now we're both happy while I sit here, almost an hour later, on a warm bottom. 

Eek.  A house full of people, and you can hear a spanking from our room, no matter what we do.  And you know what?  I don't care.  I literally dare anyone to challenge us, because we need this.  I NEED THIS.  And we checked the laundry room, it's not possible, Dad's desk is right near by, which he is always at, and I forgot that there is a 3 foot by 4 foot hole in the wall by the dryer that runs to just a few feet from where he sits.  Um, no thank you.  So if someone asks, we'll just say we were being intimate.  Spanking is a form of being intimate, so it's not a lie... right?  I doubt my parents would ever consider that the Duke spanks me. :)  So that line feels safest.

Tuesday, October 09, 2018

Words Of Dominance - In A Spanking

It's been a crazy week.  Thanksgiving here in Canada this past weekend, so that meant lots of family.  It's nice to have the house back to normal, though I do love having everyone here. :)

So, the Duke and I were in a chat last night, and it talked a bit about what the Hoh / Dom could say for an tih / sub.  It got me thinking, he hasn't been saying much in the way of anything to help me feel submissive.  I have been doing all I can think of to be submissive on my own, but he used to use his words a lot, and that really helped me.  So he admitted last night in chat that he couldn't think of the things to say.

Today on a date I asked him if we could write down ideas of things he could say during certain situations.  I just wanted to try to find ways to help him.  He loved that idea.  We also talked about how it wasn't just what he said, but how he said it.  With a serious tone, or deeper voice, or with a stern glare, and things like that.

I thought I'd spend a few posts sharing the ideas we come up with in case they can help anyone else. :)

I broke today's ideas up into three sections of a spanking.
- Getting Started
- Fighting A Spanking
- Keeping Her Attention During A Spanking

I didn't add and for ending or for after the spanking, or the lecture in this one because I felt this was already a lot of info for one post.  I do hope to add those in posts in the next week or two. :)

SPANKING FOR PUNISHMENT

Getting Started
- Pants Down / Panties down / Take off Your Clothes / Strip
- Lay over the bed / Climb over my knee / Lean over the chair
- Put that bottom out further.  Make it look like it's begging for the spanking it knows it deserves.
- Hands under your head / linked behind your back / under your chest / stretched out above you / holding onto the pillow
- Keep your feet down / No kicking / Legs apart
- Now, you earned this spanking.  I want you get into position on your own, and then kindly ask for your spanking.
- I'm going to use my hand, the loopy, and the cane on you.  I expect you to stay in place for each one.  Do you understand?
- You're going to be a good girl and be very quiet, aren't you?
- I know this is hard for you, thank you for getting into position without a fight.  This shows me that you are taking this seriously, and accepting your punishment.
- If you're not willing to get / stay in position, you can go into the corner until you're ready to accept responsibility, and admit you need/have earned this spanking. 
- What is your safeword in case you need it?

Fighting A Spanking
- Stop fighting.  If you didn't want to be here, you wouldn't have (name offense).
- Feet down / stop kicking / keep those feet still or I paddle your soles next.
- Get your hands out of the way or I'll cane your palms.
- If you don't stop thrashing about, I'll tie you down/restrain you.  And trust me, if I have to restrain you it will hurt a whole lot more.
- Do I need to add the butt plug to help you calm down?
- This isn't too much.  You can take more, and you will take more.  I've got you, you can do this, but you need to be punished for what you did so that you can release your guilt, and so that I can make sure you never, ever, do this again.
- Fighting this spanking is showing me that you don't think I can lead you.  Is that what you think?  Because if it is, maybe I need to show you with my hand just how ready/equipped/suited for the job I am.
- I don't want to have to gag you, so scream into your pillow if you find you're having trouble keeping quiet.  We don't want anyone to know what is going on in here, do we?

Keeping Her Attention During The Spanking
- Good girl.  You are taking your spanking so well.  I've very proud of you.
- Take a deep breath.  I know you hurt, but you're doing very well.
- I hope you're starting to learn that this isn't acceptable behaviour and that I will not be tolerating it in the future.
- Look at that.  You're turning quite pink.  Let's see if we can't make this a bit darker.  This naughty bottom hasn't paid nearly enough for what you did.
- You're not going to do this again are you?  Because if you do, next time, this spanking will feel like love taps.
- If we're ever here again, with you being spanked over this issue, I will add daily spanking / extra implement / loss of privileges / grounding / etc. to it. 
- I want you to count out these last 20 spanks and then say "Thank you, Sir, may I please have more."
- You're sorry?  Were you sorry before you did this?  Were you sorry when you disrespected me by breaking my rules?  You might be sorry now, but you're not as sorry as you're going to be.
- Girls / Women always make lots of promises they can't keep when they're being spanked.  But I'll be here to help you keep your promises, won't I?
- You need to listen to me.  You need to follow my rules.  And when you don't, you need to be punished, don't you?  You need to have this bottom reddened by me and be reminded of who you answer to.

I'd love to hear if you would have added anything to these lists, or if you have ideas for ending and after a spanking, maintenance/role affirmation/stress relief spankings, the lecture, and words of dominance just in every day life. :)  I hope to do three more posts to help the Duke.  :)  He'll grow into finding his own words, but since he said these would help, I wanted to give him ideas.

Tuesday, October 02, 2018

Admitting Needing More?

Things are plugging along.  I have been fighting a nasty headache for several days, so I have not replied to your comments to the last TWO posts.  I am so sorry.

I got a spanking the other night just to remind me of my role.  It was a bit softer, but much longer than normal.  I was actually surprised I did not feel it the next day.  I do think I need to talk to the Duke about the lecture.  He used to do them, and with no talking at all, I'm finding I don't focus as well, or center myself into the role if I don't hear his voice, or what he expects of me.  I didn't leave feeling submissive.  Now, the little romp we had afterwards was absolutely delicious. ;)  But I didn't find I was any more submissive leaving the spanking than I was going into it.  I hope I can bring it up in a respectful way without making him question himself.  I want to stay silent on it... but I know his hope for it, the reason he did it, was to establish our roles, and if that did not happen for me, I have to find a way to respectfully admit that.

How is your week going?

Since I got some good feedback about the free books I shared a couple weeks ago, thought I'd share one here that is only free for a few days.  It's not a novel you can download, sorry... though maybe you can copy and paste it?  Not sure of the rules on it.  It's a book that Stormy Night Publications has for free this month.  It came out a few chapters every week, and the end came out this weekend.  It's free to read until October 6th.  It's called Daddy Takes the Reins by Kelly Dawson.  I wasn't drawn to this book because of the very light age play, but because of the look at Tourette's it provided. I have to admit, I have never known someone in real life with Tourette's, so I cannot say for certain that the portrayal was accurate, but it was an amazing look.  It really drew me in.  You could feel the character's discomfort and fight at times to control it, and also the beauty of when she had help.  Yet she was a strong woman, as well as needing cherishing.  You can find the book to read here.  It is the last chapters on this page, but at the top you will see the link to all the previous chapters.