Tuesday, January 22, 2019

A Funny Story & My Writing

Hello everyone.  I'm hoping I didn't traumatize anyone with my post yesterday. :)  I hope you'll accept my apologies if I did. :)

So, a funny story.  It's funny how the things that change in your life, spill out into other areas, whether we mean them to or not.  We find this the more we live our dynamic.  Like, something as innocent as letting our daughter play with my electronic scalp and face massager.  She kept putting it on the soles of her feet, and she would giggle so cutely, that I called the Duke in to see how adorable it was.  I almost yelled out for him to see what she was doing with the vibrator!!! lol  I caught myself, realizing my mistake before the words came out and my parents heard.  Thank goodness. lol  But when the Duke came in, he said (quietly thankfully) "She really likes that vibrator.  Um, stimulator, um?"  And I had to laugh and remind him that it was called a massager!!!  HAHAHAHAHAHA  Sooo funny.  And that we both thought it.  Oh the way our dynamic spills over.  lol!

Now, I never thought I'd say this, but you guys have to stop visiting my blog. :P  The Duke looked and saw I'm getting about 4.5k hits a month and said he should spank me for every hit.  Never before have I hoped people wouldn't read. EEK!!!  lol  Okay, seriously, just kidding.  Please keep reading. :) He wouldn't really follow through on the threat, thank goodness, or else I'd never be able to bear sitting down on my poor bottom to write another post again!  lol  He was just teasing. :)

Now, before I share this next snippet, please know I never intend to turn this into a Writing Blog. :)  If I ever get published and do one, it will be separate.  Though I may share a post or two with you here if I get my first book published. :) :) 

Last year I shared here that I was writing a book.  But as I wrote, I realized how much I didn't know.  So, I took 7 months to do 8 book studies/courses on the writing craft.  During that time I kept working on my book and into the second book.  At the beginning of January I started my final edit.  Which is taking longer than I thought because I have learned so much, and have to change so much and it may end up being a before final edit, edit, lol  One writing blog of an author/editor I really like does a segment on her blog where she will review/critique a 250 word snippet of your book for you in a post.  On Saturday, I got an email saying she picked mine for this coming weekend!!!  250 words may not seem like a lot, but the feedback from professionals will be so welcome, as other editors join her at times, and others review in the comments.  The scene is to do with spanking tools, but I changed it to sex toys to make it a bit more socially acceptable, but in the book it will most definitely be spanking tools. :)  If the review doesn't freak me out tooooo much, I'll share it with you all.  :)  If they rip me apart and say never write another thing again, I will probably pretend it didn't happen.  Just kidding, I have shared with three people the first scene, and one person a couple scenes, and they really liked them. :)  But hopefully the editor(s) can give me some advice where I'm lacking, even from a short snippet.  I hope to have my book done in the next 6 weeks, but with how much I have to rewrite scenes, it may take a bit longer.  Still, I'm making really good progress. :)  And as I said, I will not make this a writing blog, I promise. :)

Monday, January 21, 2019

An "Oral" Question From Another Blog

I haven't been able to get around to blogs, but one stuck out to me today.

Of course, the title drew me in, and I had to see what he had to say. :)

He shared a story about a woman who was the head of her relationship, and how she would get her man to give her oral as an act of submission.  But he himself didn't feel giving oral was submissive.  He uses oral on his wife as an act of dominance.  He says in the post about oral "in that activity the pleasure giver is the one in control..."  and he also says "Personally I love that feeling of power and control that to me is greater than of the one receiving it. They are the passive ones."  And he wanted to know how we felt about it.  Click the link above if you would like to see the whole post. :) 

I really loved this post, and how it made me think.  It got me to think on our relationship, and how this plays out for us, something I'm not sure I have really stopped to do before.  At least not to the depth I did while replying.  Another reason blog land is so great for our relationships, that it makes us consider things about our relationships we might never have thought about before. :)

So, for his thoughts on oral, of who is submissive and who is dominant in the act, I guess I believe both the couple he wrote about, and his thoughts, that they are both right. :)  Here is what I wrote for a comment.  If you're not into reading about oral, I don't get graphic, or name parts down there, but it is a post talking about oral, just to warn you in case you want to abandon ship for now and rejoin in the next post. :)  As you know, I don't usually do posts like this, but it does have me thinking, and I hope you guys don't mind the change for today. :)

Here is how I replied to that post:

I guess it all depends on who's deciding. :)

In our relationship, I am the submissive. I am overly sensitive down there, so I actually would rather not do this, it's too much. But, my husband decides when we will, and won't do it. He decides for how long, if he will suck, lick, blow, etc. I have no control. To help emphasize this, he will often hold my legs down so that I can't fight, I can't turn away. I am there, and he will do with me what he wants, and I have no power to stop him. My words of begging are often ignored. He decides when I will orgasm, I am not to go before, and I'm to go when he says. He decides how many I will have, no matter if I say I'm done or not.

But, I give him oral as well. Flip the roles since I am female and he is male for the couple you are thinking about. But in my giving him oral, he is still VERY much in charge. He tells me how deep to take him. He tells me if he wants me to go slower or faster, suck harder, to use my teeth or keep them tucked away. He is giving me instructions every step of the way. And recently he holds my neck or fists my hair close to the scalp to keep me in place, he used to just hold my head. I feel even more of his dominance now.

Because of all of this, both are very submissive for me, but giving oral is actually more submissive because it's my head, and his hands are on my head, and he's controlling my head and so controlling me. I feel more owned when he does things with my head than other parts of me for some reason... maybe because it's so close to the brain? Also, he's talking to me, where he can't much when he's giving oral to me. With the words, he's way more in my head. Telling me how things are, how I will do things, how he controls what happens to him because he owns the body that is bringing him pleasure. I'm called his good girl, told yes, I'm doing it right, or to move or do more of this or that. He controls the whole thing, and I just obey every command to his satisfaction.

Anyway... just my thoughts. :)

I never thought to share in the comment on the blog that sometimes I hang over the side of the bed, and that definitely isn't me being in charge.  He doesn't have to give me many orders because he's pushing into me any way he wants.  *blush*

What do you guys think?  If you do oral, which do you find is true in your relationship?  I think every act probably has the potential for dominance or submission for both parties, it just depends on who's leading and who is following.

Sunday, January 20, 2019

The Fear Of Losing And Going Deeper

As many of you know, the Duke has a weird rule for me.  If I'm turned on... aka so horny I can barely focus on anything else... I need to tell the Duke, regardless of the time of day.  This is mostly because it will keep me up at night if it's not dealt with, literally, not a second of sleep will happen.  I hate and love it.  Well, 3am, and I couldn't sleep because of it, so I go and tell the Duke.  He takes care of me... a few times. *blush*  And then asks me to go down on him.  For the first time ever, I had to say I couldn't swallow.  I had a horrible headache, one that made me really nauseated, and I was afraid I might throw up on him.  I barely ate the whole day because of it.  So, I asked if that was okay, and he understood. (The Duke said I should add some comments about how I love and am so overly obsessed with that part of him when giving oral, but I want you all to still talk to me afterwards, so I will be a bad little subbie and not write his horrifically graphic, joking comments. lol  They were sooooo naughty!  lol)

During it, for the first time ever, he grabbed my hair in his fist, and kept me close to him while I took him as deep as my upset stomach would allow.  He guided me, he controlled me, he gave me very little room to move how I wished.  I was his, and he was making sure I didn't question that.  And yet, as firm as that hand was, he was using the other hand to stroke my head like a gentle caress.

Um, when did having your hair pulled and grabbed become so sexy?  I mean, I've seen it written in books, it always seems hot, but nothing prepared me.  It was wonderful, and I was amazed it did not bother the headache at all, in fact, it might have helped.  We cuddled afterwards, and I felt especially needy because I was a bit upset that I didn't swallow for the first time. I felt like I failed a little even though he assured me I hadn't.  I don't remember needing to be cuddled that much in the past for any reason.  Then all the sudden we're bear hugging each other, and I whisper, "I'm scared".  I don't know where it came from, I wasn't thinking it, but there it was, and I realized, it was true.  He held me, and told me it was okay, he had me, he was there.  He said it a few times as his hold got tighter and tighter around me.  But still, the fear wiggled it's ugly head at me, and destroyed my peace.  My chest felt tight, and my upset stomach was at a full rumble by this point.

We're in a new place in DD and D/s that we've never been before.  The Duke is finding what works for him in DD without my suggestions.  He's getting ideas that I never told him about.  He's leading in ways that shock and surprise me, and wow me.  I love that he's making it his own.  I hated giving him ideas, felt like I was still not submitting.  He's really liking leading, and wow, I'm amazed.  And I'm scared because it's now getting to be more than I thought we'd do.  Can I go as deep as he'll lead?  I crave it and fear it all at the same time.  Will he protect me as much as I'll need when we go deeper?  Will he realize just how vulnerable that will make me?  And what if life gets in the way again, and he pulls back completely?  I broke down and asked him that, what I would do if he backed away completely, again.  Last time he backed away I felt so unloved, I was ignored every single day and felt very unwanted.  This time would be worse, we're going deeper, I'll be learning to depend on him more.  And then he promised, he promised he had me, and he wasn't doing that to me again.  He seemed really convicted of it, and I choose to believe he will do as he says.  I think I would find it extremely hard to go deeper, and then pull back completely. 

This is where I show my faith in him.  I am not going to focus on the hurt from the past, I'm letting it go.  I've changed, and so has he.  This is where I push the fear aside.  It's not doing me, nor us, any good.  This is where I leap when I want to stay on solid ground, because at least I know what is here and what it is like.  I don't know where my feet will land if I take the jump.  But the other half of me is almost pushing me off the solid ground, begging me to dive head first and see how deep the rabbit hole goes.  The daring side of me will win, because I want my marriage to win.  I started us down this path, and I have to be brave enough to see how far he'll take us down it.  I just may beg for a parachute a few times along the way until we land though... lol.  Is it weird that in the fear and excitement and yearning, I just want to cry?  (Did I mention I didn't really sleep last night)  It's overwhelming, yet I feel safe at the same time?  I'm so utterly female.  Augh.  So undecided and unsure of what I feel.  I do know this though, in the midst of it all, I want more of him.  Always, more of him.

To end on a bit of a bad note, we're about to be BLASTED with 8-12 inches of snow and 1-1.5 inches of freezing rain if predictions are right.  Soooooooo, if I disappear for a few days, that will be why.  As soon as I can get online again, I will. :)

Thursday, January 17, 2019

Throw - Domestic Discipline Blessed Me And Our Marriage

This post is the beautiful thing I learned in the midst of something very dark.  For anyone that got into DD after the summer of 2013 you may not know this.  Back on June 19, 2013, the DailyBeast did an article on DD.  Well, they wrote about CDD, the article was called "Spanked for Jesus", but it was DD blogs in our very community that got linked in the articles and were called CDD.  The journalist's point of view was very negative to those who practice spanking.  The response was explosive.  Several publications reprinted the article or wrote their own take on it.  It was in the news, youtube channels jumped on to give their opinions.  It seemed to be everywhere, and so did the hatred.  It was a hard time for those of us in blogland.  Some bloggers got some horrifying comments on their blogs.  Some took down their blogs, and we haven't seen them since.  Some went private.  I remember the fear. the feeling dirty and exposed.  BUT, this is the beautiful thing I learned and shared during it.  This moment really helped me in our becoming who we are.  If anyone ever questions why we practice, I will show them this.  In fact, when my best friend learned we practiced, this was the post I showed her before we talked further.  This is a bit long, but if you want reasons why we practice, why this works for us, why we thrive, this is it. :)  I can't live without DD in my marriage, it just doesn't work.  We tried later on for family reasons, but had to go back to it.  We just don't do well without it.

This was posted June 25th, 2013

Domestic Discipline Blessed Me AND Our Marriage 

I have spent the week processing, and I'm sorry that I haven't written.  I know many felt attacked by the article that came out last week, which is now being reported by dozens of news sources.  I hate that we all have felt violated and threatened.  At the same time, I am so proud of the fact that a community that is wounded and some a bit frightened have rallied behind one of our own to pray for their family.  There is so much love here.  I am so thankful for this community.  I have been since I found you, and still am.

I won't lie, part of what kept me silent this week was the sudden rush in traffic on my site.  Like four thousand hits in a couple of days.  I thought that happened for everyone, but when I mentioned it to a few of you, you had no influx of visitors.  I couldn't figure out why.  So on Sunday I looked up my traffic reports.  A huge chunk of them came from the LDD site.  I just could not figure out why.  So I looked.  I had been linked in a post of theirs just before the articles came out... so I'm guessing that is how my numbers went so high.

I don't know why I didn't get bad comments, but after hearing what some got, I am thankful.  To those of you that received mean comments, I am so sorry.  You are so special, so loved.  You do not deserve their scorn or judgement.  We are all behind you.  We know the truth about you, and are sorry their lies and confusion was so blind and hateful. :(

I won't lie, it freaked me out that my numbers were going high, and others weren't.  But the next day I made a decision.  I don't care what they think.  I did, I really let it bother me this week, that article nonsense.  But not anymore.  I hope it's okay to share why. 

Before DD I cried myself to sleep so many times.  I felt so unloved.  The Duke never noticed anything I did, and never seemed to care about me.  Yes, he loved me, but he never showed it to me.  I was literally dying inside.  I was desperate, I started looking online on ways to save my marriage.  I just wanted the Duke to step up, take over some, relieve me of some of the burdens I was carrying.  Essentially, I wanted him to take his role of head of our house.  When looking up info on how to do this, I found Domestic Discipline.  I had wanted a marriage like DD, but did not know what to call it.  It was a hope for something I thought didn't exist.  Now it was real, now it had a name.

My heart started yearning.  Not only was there a lifestyle out there I could learn from that might help guide the Duke into stepping up, but it also was a lifestyle that would help us learn to take my control, and give him control.  Better yet, here was a lifestyle that also had ways to help me become a better person, help me learn boundaries as I'd never had any before, a lifestyle that would help me learn to control my temper, and best of all, a way to let go of guilt.  I carried around guilt so much, and having a temper that made me regret everything I would say and do did not help.

It took MONTHS to show the Duke I was serious about this.  He is shy, and passive, this took some talk. Domestic Discipline is not about punishments.  It's about helping those of us that need it finding a structure base to live in.  I needed to start having consequences.  I was self destructing with nothing to stop me.  I was getting unhealthy, I was getting depressed, I was getting a low self esteem, I was getting angry, I was not dealing with the grief of losing my son in a healthy way.  I wanted to lash out at the world.

This is what DD has done for me.

I now keep my house in order.  This has become a rule in my home.  For the Duke?  Not a chance.  He does not care one iota what the house looks like, and he never did.  Why then the rule?  Because clutter stresses me out.  Hearing people outside my door REALLY stressed me out that they may want to come in, and then they'd see the mess.  The Duke hates seeing me stressed.  He likes seeing me happy.  So the clean house is so that when I sit down, I can relax, and not be looking out of the corner of my eye at all that needs to be done, and stressing about not ever being able to catch up.  It now takes me 20 minutes twice a week to clean up my house.  That's it.

I now exercise and eat better.  Not to deprive me, and make me lose weight, but because I wasn't feeling well.  This one was the hardest to ask the Duke to enforce, he loves me the way I am, the size I am.  He does not believe I need to change.  I however do.  When he started to see that I was feeling better with this rule being enforced, it became a rule that would stay.  I no longer have as bad of headaches, I have more energy, I'm sick less days.

I now look at myself and can smile at myself.  One reason is that I have only had one blow up in months.  One.  And even then it wasn't bad.  Why?  Because the Duke knows when to cut me off now. He knows that line I cross where it's okay to share my opinion, and when I start to get angry and can't stop.  I still get to share my opinion, but he reminds me to calm down, take a breath, not to let the anger over rule me.  This has saved me from so much guilt.  I don't have to apologize to him for raking him over the coals, for swearing, stomping about the house, and I don't have to apologize to God for railing at Him as well, as that is where I would go once I was done with the Duke.  It is so great to not have to carry that burden around.

I can also look at myself and smile because the Duke does not allow me to self bash either.  I am no longer allowed to tell myself I am worthless, that I don't matter, that I'm ugly.  I am not allowed to have pity parties that lead to dark moods and depression.  If they threaten to come, the Duke is there, to love me, praise me, and show me how much he loves me.

EVERY single rule I have is for me.  It took me a while to see that.  But it's true.  Not one of those rules are a selfish one made by the Duke.  Even my bedtime rule is because if I don't get enough sleep, I am useless the next day with a major migraine, sometimes so bad all I can do is sit in the quiet, with tears running down my face.  He HATES to see me in pain.

DD is done out of love.  It's done out of respect.  Yes, sometimes I get spanked, but you know what?  If I get to the point I need a spanking, I also need to a good cry.  A spanking helps me cry, it helps me let go of all I'm holding on to.  It helps erase the guilt, it helps me know I've dealt with my mistake and can move on without having to worry about it anymore.  Spanking frees me.  You think I'm crazy?  I smile after EVERY spanking.  Not always right away, sometimes it can take ten minutes.  Never longer.  The Duke always pulls me to him right away and holds me and comforts me and lets me know how much he loves me, tells me to let it all out, and that he is there for me.  And then I smile.  Because all the garbage I was feeling is gone.  I cried it out.  No more baggage, I'm freed.  And I have my best friend there, supporting me.

I can't go back to how our life was before.  I can't.

Before, my husband never touched me, he never talked to me, he lived in his own little world.  We shared a bed, we shared a home, but that was it.

Now he LOVES to be with me.  He can't wait to talk to me each day.  We spend hours sometimes just talking.  He can't keep his hands off of me.  He's always wrapping his arms around me, holding my hand, putting his hand on my knee when I'm driving.  He asks more about what I think.  He checks in more to make sure I'm doing okay.  He asks more what he can do to make sure I'm doing okay.  He takes over more things when my daily headaches are harder to bear.  He's more ready and willing to help me with chores around the house and to run errands.  He steps in to protect me now.  He stands up when friends try to take up too much of his time now and tells them he needs more time with me.  We joke around way more, and tease each other.  We now do nightly devotions together and pray together more often.  I have not felt this loved, ever.  This is better than when we were dating.

I can't go back to how our life was before.  I can't.

DD is one of the best gifts God has brought to my marriage.  I am so happy now.  I feel freer than I have ever been.  I feel more loved.  I feel special.  I feel important.

Anyone that wishes to judge me can.  I've realized I just don't care. :)  I'm happy.  The Duke is happy.  That, I do care about.  That is what matters.  That article made me feel dirty.  But HOW can I feel dirty about something that has brought so much love, joy and peace?  Shame on the author for trying to destroy something so beautiful.  Shame on her.

To all you fellow DDers out there, whether you write blogs or just lurk, I am so proud to belong to this group of WONDERFUL people.  It is so rare to see love given so freely as it is here.  This community means so much to me.  Had you not been here, I would have never known.  I might still be crying myself to sleep every night, fighting for a way to survive.

I know some of you are taking your blogs down, some going private, and some taking theirs off of being able to be searched for.  I really feel that you are right in doing so.  Each person is different, and we all need different things, especially if you feel threatened at all.  Always listen to that voice if it tells you to pull back.  I thought about each of those for the Duke and I, and wondered which I/we should choose for us.  After some long thoughts, and as long as the Duke stays okay with it, I'm not changing anything for now.  I want to still be here for others to find who may need DD as much as I did.  That may change as our life changes, or if kids come into the picture, but for now, I feel peace about this decision.  I hope it is okay to ask those of you that go private to send me an invite. :)  I really still want to stay in contact because you have come to mean so much to me, and I have learned so much from you guys. :)  I love you guys. :)

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

And The Calm In The Middle :)

Well, since I shared the ups and downs of DD this past week, might as well share about the middle ground. :)

That is where I am right now.  That safe spot.  That place where I'm very content, and loved, and special, and just, ah, it's nice. :)

There are no fireworks right now.  There are no marching bands playing in the background with loud cheerleaders reminding you of how wonderful this is and baton twirlers with a showy display.  And thankfully, there are also no crying tears, no lashing out, no dark holes you have to fight against to keep from being sucked in.

No, today, I just am in our relationship.  I'm letting him lead, I'm obeying what he asks of me.  I'm fully content.  This man loves me.  This man has me.  This man wants to protect me.  And I'm thankful.  Blissfully thankful.  No spankings in days, no real chances to be intimate, but still, he's there, giving me his leadership and strength in a million little ways.

I like the calm.  Don't get me wrong, the highs are wonderful, but I also like this place of just being as well. :)  The happiness.  Being thankful.  Knowing he's there.  That I can rest because he has me.  That I'm not alone.  Just being us. :)

I really like this place too. :)

Friday, January 11, 2019

My Shocking Struggle With Submission

After my gushing post the other day of how much I love submission, how needy I become, and how much I thrive off of giving myself to the Duke, last night was a COMPLETE surprise.

My cycle was SUPER weird this time.  My body and emotions were way different.  Okay, I'll say it, I was very turned on, all the time, even after my cycle finished and I thought the hormones leveling out would have made it stop.  Even if the Duke pleased me three or four times before bed, I still couldn't sleep.  It wouldn't stop.  It was insatiable.  I have not been falling asleep until 5am most nights, or later for two weeks because of it.  And then yesterday, I just lost it.  I was tired, needed release, again, and in trying to move an intricate lego house, dropped it by mistake and it fell to pieces, everywhere.

I wanted time alone.  I felt like I was going crazy, needing out of my skin.  I wanted to claw my way out of my own body.  I pulled out the instructions and put the lego house back together.  It was calming, to a degree, but the second it was done, I was crazy again.  The Duke said I needed a spanking because I was cranky.  I said no.  Yep.  I said NO.  Hanging my head in absolute shame here.  And what is worse?  I kept saying no.  He kept saying I needed one, and I kept saying there was no way I was going for one.  I wasn't loud, I wasn't mean, but I kept saying no, quietly but firmly.  Where was Miss Submissive? {Now I have Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson in my head, lol  And you're welcome to all of you that do now too. lol}

I didn't want to submit, it felt wrong, it felt weak, and I didn't like it.  All the beautiful aspects of submission that I usually love, they were escaping my mind.  I couldn't think of one. 

The Duke stood directly in front of me, grabbed my chin firmly, and against all my effort, raised my face to look up at him from where I sat on the floor having just finished the lego house.  He leaned over me, his face close to mine, and told me I could say no all I liked, but I was getting spanked because he thought I needed it.  I tried to look away, and he wouldn't let me.  I started to cry.  All the hormones, stress, exhaustion, being cranky, it all came together in a blob of mess that made me feel like I was someone else, and I didn't like it.  I was so out of control, it was scary, It was like free falling with no net to catch me.  My net was looking me straight in the face, but I couldn't see it that way at the time.  I finally was able to look away, and he grabbed my cheeks in both hands, and forced me to look at him again.  He told me he loved me, that he was going to help me, and again told me he loved me, that he was doing this for me.  I should have felt cherished.  Isn't that what we all dream of from our men when we want this?  That firm, take charge attitude, done because they love us and want the best for us?  And all I felt was this rushing feeling of frustration, feeling so lost.  Literally, who was in my body at that moment?  It certainly didn't feel like me.  It certainly wasn't the same woman that felt safe and cherished as she cuddled in the Duke's arms several times this past week.

A few hours later we were able to do the spanking with the new carpet beater from Christmas.  After the spanking to help me let the crankiness go, the Duke gave me 12, VERY HARD, swats for having fought him by saying no repeatedly.  One swat was so hard I actually rolled out of position on instinct.  I thought I was past that.  I was so disappointed in myself, and rolled right back as soon as I processed what I had done.  During it he told me that next time I won't be able to argue, he'll put his foot down right away and put an end to it.... which to be honest, I think would be best.  Since I have no idea what got into me, having him curb my behaviour before it gets out of hand would be better than how I spiralled last night.

Is this the womanly change?  I am 40... but that feels young, but maybe it's not?

The Duke is stepping up, and apparently I'm going to be getting away with a lot less.  The Duke usually can't find much to punish me for, but it looks like I'm going to have to be extra diligent to keep it that way.  Today I feel a bit lost still, but no where near as lost as last night.  I feel submissive again, thank goodness.  He's doing an extra long shift at work today, and I miss him.  I can't wait until he's home and can give me a snuggle.

After writing all this, I think I realize part of the problem. (If you are new to my blog, over two years ago, my parents had to move in with us.)  In all this submissive and needy feeling lately, my Dad, who I love, don't get me wrong, but he's been pushing in a lot, trying to get into my space, making me feel smothered.  I actually had to go to the Duke the other night while I was cooking because Dad was so much in my space.  I felt bad, he was only trying to help with supper, but smothered I felt.  I got the Duke to hold me tight, my chest pressed tight to his, to feel his presence and power before I could go back to the kitchen to do supper.  Dad was completely overwhelming me, and I was feeling so vulnerable, that it was freaking me out.  He was really in my space again today, and I just want the Duke here to hold me, and make the vulnerability not so scary... being turned on all the time for the past two weeks, (man, I should see a doctor about that) makes me also not want my Dad in my space.  AUGH.  It's horrible. It makes my skin crawl.  I want him no where near me.  Not his fault, but augh.  Wow, going to have to think on all of this.

Thursday, January 10, 2019

Throw - In Case You Need A Good Laugh :)

This is from February 7th, 2014, and oh my, it was a funny one. :)  Thought I'd try another Throwback Thursday.  Let me know if you like, have some deeper meaning ones from my early blogging days I think I might start posting once a month, as I really liked what I learned back then. :)

No! I'm A Good Girl! ;) 

So, I sing at random times.  When taking a shower, when doing house work, and as was the case today, when getting dressed.

So, one line of the song I was singing is {scratchy like because of my cold}, "You rinse and you spit, but you don't swallow it."

The Duke's head whips around.  "What are you singing???"

I repeat the last line I'd just sung, laughing as I realize how it sounds.

"Are you being a bad girl?"  He's half shocked, half amused at me as I only listen to clean songs.  He was probably wondering where I picked up such a song.

So I rushed to answer.  "No, no, I'm being a good girl!  It's a Bubble Guppies song!  About brushing your teeth!"  Hey, I work with kids, one who loves the show.  It's not my fault!  Those songs are horribly catchy. lol

Later on, I asked what had shocked/bothered him more.  The idea of being able to spit it out, or that he thought I was singing a song about oral sex.  ;) ;) ;)  I'll leave you to guess his answer.

And in case anyone questions my honesty, this song is in the "Tooth On The Looth" episode. :)