A Crying Spanking - With The Duke

I wanted an eye with a tear drop for this post, please forgive how crude it is, it's my first attempt.  I have never been able to draw, so looked around and found this video that gives tips.  I need to learn more before I ever attempt to draw for you guys again. lol  It has many flaws, but for my first attempt, I am quite proud. :)  I want to try drawing, Duke, so I see the need for drawing pencils in my future. :P  *hint* *hint* :)

So, I love reading DD romances, but one thing that always got to me were the heroines who were crying within the first 10 spanks of a spanking.  I always thought, oh come on, really?  Well, maybe they were already more emotional than I thought, or maybe they really needed a release, so I gave them the benefit of the doubt.  Well, jot me down as one of the women who cried without the right mental state in the first 10 strokes.

This spanking was to help the Duke feel his dominance again. It's been missing the past couple of days besides trying out our new implements yesterday (in yesterday's post).  He's been feeling unsure of himself again, not really checking in, seeming depressed.  So I offered to let him spank me.  Okay, so this was done ten minutes after a shower, before church.  I know about wet bottoms, but I thought that was long enough.  Ladies, let me tell you, you need a good YEAR after a shower for your bottom to be dry enough to spank with the carpet beater I showed you yesterday.  TRUST ME on this. :P OUCH!

I couldn't believe how much that implement hurt.  I kept jumping and getting slightly out of position, where I was ordered back.  No matter how hard I tried, my body jumped from the incredible pain, and within 10 strokes I was bawling.  Not just crying, but full out sobs.  I wasn't even emotional when I went into it.  I was actually in a good mood.  But boy, was I hurting and almost fearful of the carpet beater after that.  It was a complete fight to stay in position, I don't remember a spanking ever hurting half as much.  I even had to ask for a break at one point for 20 seconds because I just couldn't keep in position.  I feel, even spanking wise, we are starting over in our dynamic, which surprises me.  I couldn't believe I had to ask for a break, before, I hadn't had to ask for one since our very earliest days, if even then.  I was so mad at myself, but I got right back in and said to forget the break, I wanted to finish and do this just the way he'd planned to.  Hopefully next spanking I can behave, because that's the second spanking in a month I had to take a break, and I know I can do better than that.  I almost didn't share about needing a break... but you guys deserve the truth.

After we were done, and the Duke's hands started to wander, ;) I told him I was tossing the carpet beater into the garbage!  He said no.  Um... shouldn't the creator of an object get to decide it's future???  Okay, yes, I was crazy to make the thing, but I'd just wanted to try it out... I thought it would be so pretty.  Yeah, pretty and LETHAL.  Hasn't anyone else out there just wondered about something?  Just wanted to try it out?  And regretted it?  You understand... right?  I regret this!  LOL 

So, another sore bottom today.  But after it all, I feel loved, and special.  

On a side note, saw a boy today whose mother I am friends with.  We don't see each other often though.  Her son was born 4 days after our son's due date.  If you don't know, in 2011 we had a son that came early and only lived 2 hours.  Seeing him, how big he is, just reminded me of how much we've lost.  He got up in the middle of church to get a hug from his mother, and then went back to his seat.  All I could think of was that I never would have that moment with our son.  But, I have to remember, God blessed us with our daughter almost four years later, and someday, when I pass from this life, I'll see my little boy again.  I have felt ever since church that I should ask for another spanking... but wondering if that will appear greedy to the Duke.  Either way, I think I'll ask for one.  Almost 8 years since we lost our son, and I'm amazed at how the ambush moments can just drag me back as if a day hasn't passed.  That hasn't happened in a year or more if I'm remembering correctly.  I'm glad they're getting further between.  DD really helped in the past, and feel it could help today.  Eek, pray for my poor bottom though.  :)

The Duke's Deductions:  

I think it is a really good drawing. I am always impressed by how artistic Esmay can be. I look at it and I'm like "wow I didn't know you knew how to draw that." My drawings always look like bad stick figures. I draw the same way now that I did when I was like 8.

Yeah I was surprised during the spanking. I saw Esmay working very hard to make that implement, and I was proud of her doing that, and so I wanted to show her how grateful I was and how I was happy to use her creation. LOL I guess she underestimated her creation. I was surprised when she asked for a break, because I didn't think she was getting to that point in the spanking. Overall though I thought it was a good session we had. I am so thankful I have a wife who helps me like that.

I did see that boy today as well. I can see what we are missing. Actually before Esmay shared what she had felt, I had watched him play with some boy toys, and I also kind of wished I had somebody that I could play boy toys with, and how much fun that would be.

Augh, there goes my heart.  That man is so special to me.