Tuesday, February 07, 2017

Last Night

I want to thank everyone that wrote to help calm me down.

All that work up, and nothing happened.  Our daughter got a fever, and with freezing temperatures outside, we decided we had to keep her home, and the Duke did not want me to go by myself.  So I ended up not meeting with my sister after all.  So now I just hope this is the end for now.  I am sad that things have gotten to this point, but the Duke doesn't want me talking to her anymore.  And that actually feels great.  This isn't my decision.  I would decide to keep putting up with the abuse, feeling I had to to keep our relationship going.  But the Duke sees that that isn't good for me.  I feel such relief that this decision is made for me!  I don't need to feel guilty for stepping back either, I'm just obey my husband.  It's out of my hands. :)

Monday, February 06, 2017

Terrified :(

Today my submission is being tested to a completely new level.  Today I do not want to do something with my whole heart. 

I think I mentioned it a bit ago about a sister that believes I have lied to her, and now has brought up more and more things she thinks I've lied about in the past.  It has been one horrible phone call after another.  Thankfully, the Duke says he no longer wants me to talk to her... AFTER he wants me to visit with her tonight because she's in town.  He is going with me... and my parents are supposed to be there... but I'm still TERRIFIED.  She says everything she's accused me of has been in love to help me bring the truth to light.  But I have told the truth, everyone in my family believes I've told the truth except for her.  She even went so far as to get her family to call and sing happy birthday to my daughter, and then ask to speak to me alone just to accuse me again.  It ruined the day for me, and I spent an hour in tears.  I don't want to talk to her anymore.  I don't want to see her. I have done all I can to keep the peace and still she attacks.

But, I'm going.  The Duke wants me to.  He feels we should show the more mature side in this.  I literally feel like I'm going to throw up.  Thankfully the Duke has also said if she tries even for a second to bring up all this garbage, or accuse me of anything, he will tell her we will not be discussing it, and that it is time for us to leave.  Part of me hopes she says nothing, part of me hopes she says something in the first two minutes so we can turn right back around and leave.

This is NOT going to be a fun night for me. :(  I really, really, REALLY would rather not go. :(  I have a broken toe... that didn't work as an excuse. :P  *SIGH*

Maybe afterwards I'll ask for a spanking to get rid of the stress.  We haven't done one lately, with parents now living with us, we get little time alone... but it might be a night to do it.