Spanking Implements Around The House

If you're wanting to take part in The Kinky Disciplined Advent, but don't have any implements, well, it can be easy to find some around your house. :) I've included a list of 24 I could think of off the top of my head the past two weeks.  Just use what you can find.  If you think of any not on this list, please feel free to share in the comments, and I'll add it. :)  And when all else fails, go for number one, a plain old hand, when held ridged and the fingers all together, it can feel like a wooden paddle.  No joke. :)

I've listed some online links to shop for toys and implements below this list for tomorrow's challenge. :)

Around The House Implements
*** Always test new implements and get your sub's/tih's feedback when starting out.

1. Hand – nothing as easy or convenient. It’s always with you. ;)
2. Ruler (sturdy plastic or wood – avoid metal rulers or ones with a metal strip as the edges are usually sharp and could slice open skin)
3. Yard stick
4. Bath brush
5. Frying spatula
6. Icing spreader spatula
7. Wooden spoon
8. Tilt wand (thin plastic wand from window blinds)
9. Leather soled slipper
10. Hair brush (go easier if plastic or thin wood, it could break)
11. Leather Belt
12. Narrow bread board with handle
13. Razor strap (without metal end)
14. Plastic hanger
15. Wooden dowel
16. Long thin plastic handle on dangly cat toys
17. 5 gallon paint stir stick (most single gallon ones are thin and may break easy) (check for splinters) 
18. Fly swatter
19. Shoe horn
20. Carpet beater
21. Bamboo cane for gardening (sand off rough edges)
22. Ping Pong Paddle
23. Any semi thick plastic covered cord (coax cable, usb cord, skipping rope) fold it to form a 5-6 inch long loop (hold both ends as a handle to make a loopy)
24. And if you live where it's nice out right now, and not covered in snow, you can cut a switch. ;)

Online Sites We've Used Or Heard About. :)

  - Blondie's Place makes paddles - We have 4 very nice ones from them.  They are half way down in this post if you want to see them.  

  - PinkCherry.com and PinkCherry.ca have sex toys.  We have ordered from .ca several times and I don't think we've ever been disappointed.  We have several toys and some bondage stuff.

  - Amazon.com and Amazon.ca, and I'm sure other countries with Amazon, have some good things, but you have to do your research.  We have only bought a set of butt plugs on Amazon, and nothing else kinky so far.  Third party sellers often offer knock offs, so look for someone with good ratings, and a product with good ratings.

We have never bought from these two places, but have heard good things about them.

  - Cane-iac for implements

  - LoveHoney.com and LoveHoney.ca for toys

Thank you, Willie, for these ideas. :)
  - HushCanada.com for toys.
  - You can go to a tack shop or tractor store for crops, dressage whip and quirt. 

Here is a DIY flogger, and steps to a simple carpet beater and loopy I made.  For dowels, I just cut them down to the size we wanted, and then sanded both ends.  I finished them off with adding a grip with electrical tape.  If you see an implement I've made on our blog, and want how to tips, I'll gladly share. :)  

If you can think of other sites to add, please feel free to tell us in the comments, and I'll add it to the list. :)

Help. Where Do You Buy Toys And Implements Online?

First of all, I'm so sorry I had to go dark for a day and a half, and I'm praying that was long enough. (Thank you so much, Baker, for letting people know) Any of you that pray to God, would love prayers that a slip on my part would not allow any family members to find my blog.  Thank you.  I would have stayed away longer, but I really want to do this Advent.  I feel it will be fun, and hopefully spark some fun for some couples out there.  I'm not ashamed of how I live my life, but I worry about my husband and child.  I want to protect them.  Though it was the Duke who said I should be putting my blog back up right now, and that he didn't think there was a worry.  I pray he's right. :)  Letting him lead.  *GULP* :)  This is where submission is tested, when part of me wants to hide, and part of me wants to show him I trust him.  He feels my blog needs to be back up, and so I am following his wishes.

So, the Kinky Disciplined Advent (DD, D/s, Kinky, Sexy, and some light BDSM play) is about to start!!! :)  The Duke has said we'll try to do every single day.  Eek!  So excited. :)

On day one, I've suggested people buy or make a sex toy or implement, and I want to have some suggestions in case you guys need any ideas.  I have one DIY link of mine of where I made a soft rope flogger, and two places online I trust to suggest to people, and one I have heard high praise for.  But I would love to hear of any DIY links you know of, and the places you have shopped online that would be safe for people to spend their money at, with good quality toys or implements, and that have discrete packaging. :)  If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. :)

I'll post them on the night of the 30th, so it's only one day away, sorry.

If you'd like to see the Advent in it's entirety, it is here. :)

Thanks everyone. :)

The Kinky Disciplined Advent 2018 Is Here!!!! :) :)

The Kinky Disciplined Advent is here. :)  I have had so much fun putting this together.  Baker helped me with some ideas, and both she and the Duke looked over the final ideas for me after I weeded out the bad ones. 

I'll post the day's challenge each day at 3:00am EST.  Because that is late in the day for people across the world, I am putting the whole list out at once so you can still have it.  There are a few games that you might like ideas for.  I'll post ideas, like for the Kinky Truth or Dare, two days before hand so that everyone around the world will get them at least a day early to look at.  Some of the kinkier stuff happens closer to Christmas. :)

Some days have two options, feel free to do both, or pick just one.  And some days you can do something as a dynamic only activity, or turn it into a kinky activity.  If you're only interested in one area, look for these colours. :) 

GOLD - For all things sexy and kinky. 

RED - For all things spanky.

GREEN - For all things in the D/s, DD dynamic.

Some of these may seem involved, but even just 5-10 minutes a day to make sure you're connecting is great. Please feel free to pick and choose as you like, and there are some extra ideas at the end if you don't like one of the days but still want to do something. :)  Also, if something is too tame for you, like the number of swats in a spanking, just double it or triple it to your needs. :)

For the sake of making this easy to understand, I usually wrote Hoh and tih.  When I say he for Hoh and she for tih, that was just to keep things simple in my own head when writing.  If your relationship is different, just reword it for how it works for you and your partner. :)

If you'd like others to know you're doing this, leave me a note in the comments, and I'll list your blog on the December 1st post. :)  Have fun everyone.  :)  If you have ideas you'd like to see added for next year, I'd love to hear them.  I'll put them all in a document to look at next year.  Happy Adventing everyone. :)

I hope you'll want to join along, and please feel free to share on your blog or with friends to get the word out. :)

I should add, this is probably best to do this with someone you are in a long term relationship with, as some of the days require a lot of trust.

And remember everyone,

every single idea you use here must be

SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL.

The Kinky Disciplined Advent - 2018

Day 1 - Saturday
- Let's start us off with a de-stresser.  40 Swats with something Leather like a Tawse, Paddle, Strap, or Belt.
- Buy or start making a New Implement or Sexy Toy and wrap it up for Christmas when you're done or it comes in the mail.  (Check November 30's post for ideas of household items you can turn into implements if cash is tight and you'd rather not make one.  It will also have a list of blogging friends approved sites for shopping. :)  I will also include at least one implement DUI post)

Day 2 - Sunday
- Food fun.  Set out three food items of choice for your hoh to choose from for either him to spread on you or for you to put on him for a blow job to remember.  Chocolate, whipped cream, peanut butter, whatever melts your butter.  (The Duke heard about using pop rocks from some tih's a few weeks ago, and has been asking ever since.  I think I know what I'll be trying if I can find some, lol)
- If you do not enjoy oral, I'm sure you can find some other way to please your partner. ;)

Day 3 - Monday
- Sit down together and create a list of daily chores, shopping, gift wrapping, stuffed stockings, Christmas dinner prep, etc to tackle for the month, or just the week before Christmas. This is so the house is in a state you all can relax in when company comes, and there isn't last minute frantic running around the weekend before Christmas. 

Day 4 - Tuesday
- 50 Spanks Bare Hand over the lap while wearing a butt plug.
- Never say never.  Pick which of you would like to do this most.  Now have your way with them.  They are not allowed to say a single word unless needing to use their safeword.  To mix it up, also add that they can't move.  If they do, stop playing until they settle down.  Or you can cuff them to an under the bed kit, or tie their hands together to increase their feeling of submitting to whatever you want to do.  You can do the 50 spanks for the day with them this way. 

Day 5 - Wednesday

- Blindfold the tih for part of the evening, even just ten minutes, making her depend on her HoH for help and direction to build trust.  Praise her as she trusts you.  To mix it up, put ear plugs in and direct her by touch alone, or talking against her cheek/ear so other sounds are barely heard.

- To mix it up even further, take this to the bedroom afterwards and do a bit of sensory deprivation play with sight and sound gone.

Day 6 - Thursday

- Set a time goal, and see if you can tease your partner that long before they reach completion.  Tell them they can't go until you tell them.  10, 20, 30, 60 minutes?  To mix it up, do more than one, increasing the time between as you go.

Day 7 - Friday

- You've hit a week.  That deserves a Good Girl Spanking with her favourite implement.

Day 8 - Saturday

- Hoh’s, have your tih kneel at your feet or sit on the bed, naked if they are comfortable with it, while you are still clothed standing above them.  Hold their chin, stroke their hair, hold their shoulder, whatever seems natural to you.  Remind them of how proud you are to have their submission.  Remind them who is in charge, who they belong to and answer to.  Give them a few compliments on how they look and how you like how they behave. The power exchange here can be powerful and beautiful.

- Hoh’s, leave a hickey on your tih somewhere.  The more private the better.  Every time they see it, they'll think of you.  To mix it up leave a couple, some she can see easily, some only you can see.  To mix it up more, your tih can leave one on you as well.

Day 9 - Sunday
- Take some play dough or clay and see if you can spend the evening recreating parts of each others’ bodies.  Or do the same with drawing.  If the images aren’t too risqué, we'd love to see some posted on your blog. :)  (I'll post an easy play dough recipe a few days before hand in case you want to make it.)  To mix it up, make your partner expose on their body each part you create for the rest of the game.

Day 10 - Monday
- 50 Swats with HoH's implement of choice with the tih wearing nothing but the shoes (or barefoot) the Hoh chooses.  Hair and makeup done the way the HoH likes.

Day 11 - Tuesday
- Do something you normally don't like or avoid, but would really please your partner.  ie. make their favourite food that you don't really like as much, or do one of their chores they don't like.

Day 12 - Wednesday
- Sext, sexy email, voice mail, or what have you, every hour or two, or leave sexy letters in your partner’s coat, briefcase, wallet, etc,  about something naughty you want to do when they get home.  Have your bedroom all clean, romantic music, candles if you like, sexy lingerie or underwear.  Fulfill all your promises of the day.

Day 13 - Thursday
- Test how good your sub is at counting under pressure.  Set a number, 20, 30, 50, 100, or what have you, make her count each spank until you reach it.  To mix it up, have various implements where she can't see them, and keep switching every so often so she never knows what's coming.

Day 14 - Friday
- Write two letters, they do not have to be long.  One thanking your partner for something they do in your dynamic that you love.  Give that one to them today.  Write another one telling them why you love them and save that one for Christmas Day.

Day 15 - Saturday
- In the privacy of your own bedroom or home, play a game of Kinky Truth or Dare.  Remember, no Hard Limits or anything Dangerous. (Will post some naughty truth and dare ideas on the 13th)

Day 16 - Sunday
- Show your naughty side by writing a play scenario that you can live out that night with your partner.
- It's been a few days since an advent spanking, so add one to your story if you'd like one, and make it just as juicy as you'd like. ;)

Day 17 - Monday
- Sit down together and set a new goal for your relationship for the new year.
- 50 Swats with tih's implement of choice with the tih naked.

Day 18 - Tuesday
- Naughty elf on the shelf.  Put your elf in a naughty position and see if your partner can mimic that position.  Keep this away from prying eyes of any children though. Use a stuffed animal or drawing if you don't have an elf.

Day 19 - Wednesday
- 40 Spanks with a Ruler or Spatula.  Have the tih’s hands tied together, or to something sturdy.
- Hoh's, pick out clothes you’d like her to wear on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.  You may want your tih to dress more feminine, submissive, or flirty.  To mix it up, Hoh’s maybe let your tih pick your clothes for the same day. Maybe she wants you to dress more dominant, more dressy, or sexy that day than normal.

Day 20 - Thursday
- Okay, tih's, we've been very good so far this month... haven't we?  A little too good?  I say we need a prank day.  Agreed?  :)  So, what can you do?  Don't get yourself into too much hot water though, you can't blame me if you do.  hahaha ;) 
Mismatch all the socks in his drawer?  Fold all his underwear inside out?  Or replace with yours?  Short sheet the bed?  Make him do a 3 minute scavenger hunt to find his keys (don't make him late for work)?  Stuff tissues in his shoes?  Just remember, have fun, but don't make him too angry... you still have a few more spankings in the near future. LOL  And keep things safe. :)
- Use a special toy to stimulate your partner to completion, or have them use one on you.  To mix it up, see if they can go more than once in a certain time period, or keep switching between toys.

Day 21 - Friday
- Oh, Doctor, I have an ouchie.  Well then, someone needs a full body exam.  You? Him?  Run your hands all over, comment on colour, size, shape, investigate the parts you love, the most intimate parts that may make them, or both of you, blush.  Comment on reactions. ;)  Give orders for positions you need them in to check each area, remind them you expect them to be a very good patient.  Use a flashlight or magnifying glass for an even more up close look.  And don’t forget to be very thorough.

Day 22 - Saturday
- We're in the home stretch, and hitting the most stressful time before Christmas.  It's time for the trifecta to help let it all out.  Hohs, get your tih to pick out her favourite implement, her least favourite, and one you choose.  25 swats with each.  To mix it up, try one with her standing against a wall, one leaning over the bed, and one over your lap.

Day 23 - Sunday
- Guess the sensation.  Cool, cold, warm, hot, sharp, soft, velvety, feathery, hard, rough etc.  One of you is blind folded, the other at their mercy.  Can you guess them all?  No matter where they’re used on your body?  (I will put up a list of items you may have around the house on the 21st to help play this game with a warning not to read the list if you're the one who this will be played on. hehe)  To mix this up, bind them.  Or constantly work on arousing your partner while making them guess.  Every time they guess wrong, or take too long, stop playing, or playfully spank them, until they guess right.

Day 24 - Monday
- Have your Hoh choose an implement for you to keep with you all day.  Something small enough to keep in your purse or briefcase, or perhaps a toy either worn on your body or in your pocket to remind you of who's in charge. 
- Wear the outfit your partner picked for you on the 19th if it was for today and not tomorrow.
- Top the day off with a quick spanking with the implement you carried around all day, even just a few swats for fun and connection after a busy day. 
Tomorrow is the big day! :)

Day 25 - Tuesday - CHRISTMAS DAY
- You made it. 
- Gift your loved one with the implement you bought or made, and with the shorter letter from day 14. 
- Wear the outfit they picked for you on the 19th if you didn't last night. 
- Find time tonight if possible to try out your new toys, or make plans to as soon as possible. 
- Spend a few minutes in each other's arms, being thankful for the blessing of each other on top of all your blessings today.

If one of the days doesn't work for you or your partner but you still want to play along, or you want to add on some more fun, feel free to try a few of these kinky and spanky suggestions. :)

1. Ask your partner to tell you at least three different ways they like to be teased or do foreplay.  Also ask them their favourite ways to be intimate.  Later in the day take all the ideas except the intimate one, put them into a hat, box or bowl, then pull them out to do, one by one until they’ll all gone, then do their favourite way to be intimate to top the night off.
2. Play a game of Strip Poker, or any other game that requires stripping as you lose.  Winner picks what will be done in making love that night.
3. Play Simon says.  Take turns, see how naughty your commands can get.  What punishments can you come up with when one moves without Simon saying?
4. Play Dirty Scrabble or Boogle.  You can only make romantic, erotic, sexy, naughty, kinky, sex toys, body parts, etc., words, or words with connotations that would normally be tame like enter, push, swallow.
5. Try a new implement or one you haven't used in a while.
6. 30 Strokes with a Paddle or Wooden Spoon naked from the waist down.
7. Good girl spanking with Hoh's favourite implement.

One Of The Good Days. :) :)

Still sick, on round two of antibiotics, aka horse pills that even horses would look at warily and say "no way." lol  Warning on the label says they may cause drowsiness and dizziness.  Yes, if you shove that amount of medicine in an unsuspecting body, I'm sure it is bound to have a few adverse reactions.  On the plus side, the sinus infection probably has no chance standing against this pill.  On the down side, the rest of me may go with it. :P  lol

So, today was super special. :)  The Duke and I had a date.  Since I wasn't feeling well, we decided just to hang out in our room for a couple of hours.  It started off with us playing around with my new TV.  My TV.  Did you read that?  Mine. :)  My first ever TV that we bought for me.  :)  (Which I can't say now as my mother in law asked if that could be her Christmas present to me, hehe)  Thank you Black Friday sales.  :)

Then the Duke got frisky.  We've been really trying to work at this dominance and submission thing more the past week or two in very specific ways, something I really want to write about soon, but may wait a month until the new year.  I hit a really bad place a few weeks ago, and we're realizing we really need to make dominance and submission a priority in our lives because we don't thrive without it.  We become roommates at best, simply tolerating at worst.  Focusing on our roles is working, and when the Duke initiated being intimate today, something that is usually done by me, I just felt so special. 

We started with a spanking to help get rid of all the cranky I've had this week.  Oh, it was oozing out of every poor.  It wasn't pretty. I, a grown woman, was walking around with a two year old's tantrum raging around between my ears, begging me to let it out.  Have you ever been so agitated, that when you couldn't let it out, you just started crying because you couldn't do anything else?  Yep, that was me.  So he spanked it out of me.  THANK YOU, DUKE!  I'm me again.  Why I couldn't do it on my own, I don't know, but I couldn't, and I'm so thankful he did.  All week it's been growing, and every night there was a reason we couldn't do it.  I asked him to talk to me about my anger while spanking me.  And he did.  He told me I was going to let it go, and not build up like that, and just kept talking to me about healthy expectations he had for me about it.  My bottom was nice and stingy.

We followed it with some tender moments, and I just felt soooo loved.  We talked some more, and it was just so nice.  I can't remember the last time I felt his focus on me that much.  I really love that man. :)

Last night he went over the advent with me, and I've been talking it over this week with Baker who gave me some ideas for some of the days and looked it over for me when it was done.  So it's been preapproved by two people. :)  It's all planned out, and ready for me to send to you on Monday. :)  That will give you a few days to look it over and make plans if you like. :)  I can't wait. 

So, until Monday, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. :)

Happy Thanksgiving & Pinched Meme :)

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends!  I pray it is a wonderful day for you, filled with more blessings than stress. :)

So, no one replied that they'd heard of a DD, D/s type Advent, so look in the next few days for one that I'm going to put up. :) :)  I'm so excited.  I've been writing down every idea, working with a fellow blogger, and we'll pick our favourites, might ask our husbands too, and then share the best 25 ideas in a list for advent. :) :)

So, a meme is going around, and Baker tagged me as someone she thought might do it.  So here it goes. :)  Asking the Duke to do it with me. :)  His answers are more monosyllabic. lol

1. Something people hate to find on their windshields?
Bird Poop and Bugs.  So much fun to get off. *blech* Though this time of year, we sure have a lot of snow.  It came early this year. :( :(  Pretty, but nasty to drive in. lol
Ice.

2. Something a man might buy before going out on a date?
Hopefully flowers and chocolates and maybe even movie tickets if he's my date and hoping to impress me. :P
Flowers - Awww, and he didn't see my answers before doing this.  lol

3. Something you cook in the microwave?
I try not to use my microwave at all anymore.  I used to cook sweet potatoes in it though.  My instant pot has changed my life. :)
Popcorn 

4. An item found in an old man's wallet?
I'd like to think all old men are sweet reminiscing sweethearts, so hopefully photos of his wife and family.
Picture of his sweetheart - HAHAHA maybe we've been married too long. lol

5. Something always stocked in the fridge?
Milk.  Oh the milk in my house.  The Duke and I drink 1%, baby girl has to have lactose free, Dad drinks 2% and mom drinks 3.25%  I have almost a whole shelf dedicated to milk alone.  AUGH.  lol
Ice Cream - He does that for me.  He doesn't usually eat ice cream.  Isn't he sweet? :)

6. An item found in a Grandma's purse?
Hmmm, I've never looked in my mother's or mother in law's purses to see.  I guess I think of cute little old ladies with their white peppermints. :)
Money

7. Sport where you might lose a tooth?
I'm Canadian, so it would probably be unpatriotic to say anything other than hockey, eh? ;)
Hockey - Yep, he's being patriotic too. lol

8. A fruit that isn't round?
Star fruit and Dragon fruit, though I've never had either.  Often been tempted when I see them in the store. :)
Banana

9. Something you put on a Christmas tree?
Ornaments.  My favourites are the ones I had growing up, so get one or two for baby girl every year in case she feels the same in the future. :)
Lights

10. Name five people you think will do this?
Ummm, Katie, Windy, Lindy, Amy, and Fondles, though I haven't gotten around to blogs the last few days, so maybe you all already did. :)  Will try to visit around this weekend or before.  Still sick and a sick child have me behind.  But, since it's likely most people have already done this, I invite anyone who hasn't yet, to play along. :)

Happy Thanksgiving, and will have the Advent up in a few days in case anyone wants to play along. :) :)  Will be filled with spanking, kink, and fun. :)

Fifty Shades Advent??? LOL

So, there is now a Fifty Shades of Grey Advent calendar!!! LOL 

Some of it looks fun. :)  We already have their hand and ankle cuffs and the blind fold because of the under the bed kit we got of Fifty Shades.  It is a very well made kit, so I'm guessing all the items would be.

I usually never share internet photos, but hopefully it's okay to share a stock photo.  This is at Pink Cherry.  It is a bit pricey, and out of our price range, but with the 30-40-50 % off sales they often have, would be much cheaper if you wanted to get it and therefore fit into your price range. :)

Pink Cherry Canada

Pink Cherry States

I was actually thinking before this of a fun DD and D/s Advent, but wasn't sure if anyone in blogland already does one?  Do you know?  I have some fun ideas if they don't. :)

I was tagged in a Meme today.  Going to work on it later today and put it up tomorrow. :)

Happy Love Our Lurkers Day :)

For some reason I kept thinking LOL was 17&18th.  Woops. :)

Hi, everyone.  I don't know how many lurkers I have out there, but I wanted to say hi. 

In case you don't know me well, I'm 40, live in Canada, married to a wonderful man we call Duke on here for almost 11 years now, and started DD 6 years ago this month.  It has had it's up and downs, and we now incorporate D/s and some light BDSM.  We keep learning, we keep growing. :)

I remember back when starting to read about DD, how scary it was, how naughty and exciting, and the fear of writing that first comment.  Was I weird?  Would I come across as some silly woman who didn't know anything?  Would my ignorance on a topic I so wanted to learn get me shunned?  And so many more fears.

Well, I wanted to let you know that none of that happened.  This is a loving community, and I was welcomed with open arms into a group of people who was also searching, guidance from those who had already been there, and no judgement.  I'm not saying you have to comment, I don't ever want you to feel pressured to do something you are not comfortable with.  That is part of what DD, D/s is all about, right?  Not doing something because you feel pressured.  I totally understand that and only ever want you to write because you want to.

This is our squirrel, he lives on our property somewhere.  But always hiding.  He's learning, like I learned, that the world out there isn't so scary. :)  Took this a few years ago, he's much more used to us now. :)  We never engage him, we are just outside a lot, and our presence is no longer as frightening. :)  Hopefully you'll find the same here in blogland. :)

So, if you ever wanted to say hi, or have questions, I'd love to hear from you.

Thank you all who read, I am truly thankful that you find something worth while in all the things I write.

Happy Love Our Lurkers Day.  I am so thankful for you.

EsMay

Not MIA, Just Sick

Wanted to let you guys know that I am not MIA.  Just been fighting sinus infection with bronchitis, and been down for the count, it's made me kind of dopey, and lack of concentration.  On antibiotics since yesterday morning, so I hope to be better soon. :)

The Duke and I have been doing more and more talking, and we had a mini maintenance this week.  It helped.  He also has helped me clean, and made me feel like he cared while I haven't been able to do much.  :)

I hope your week is going well. :)  And hopefully I'll write again by the weekend.  I have only been commenting on a few blogs every few days.  Sorry if I seem hit and miss with that, but trying not to push myself.  Night. :)

Obey

Obey.  Such a simple word, with so much meaning.

Our daughter's group this week talked about obeying parents.  It suggested giving one letter of the word for every instance of obedience, and once all four letters were acquired to spell obey, to reward them with some kind of treat.  Her obedience has been horrible the past few days, several storms will do that to a child.  This trick is working.  Here are her toy letters I used for it.  Going to do it daily for a week, and if she gets all four letters every day, going to take her to buy a book or toy.

My obedience though?  It's as missing as hers has been.  I put an A.P.B. out on it, and got a simple note back. :P

I haven't wanted to submit.  The Duke has been trying since Saturday to have a maintenance, and either I was sick, or we didn't have the time.  I'm a submissive at heart, this rebellion I feel, I don't understand it, but it's there, rearing it's ugly head, demanding attention, wanting to grow stronger, and do things my way, own my own, with my own space, and no one to answer to.  In the middle of it all though is hurt.  I can't even label the hurt.  I don't know what it's from.  The things I think it's from are all resolved.  But there it sits, my heart ready to cause tears at any given moment of the day for a week. It's finally starting to ease, and I finally can write about it.  At times I have felt very alone in my life.  Thank goodness for some of you blog friends, I haven't admitted how things hard were, but you helped me out so much even still. :)  Blogland friends are amazing.

I guess part of this hard week is all the judgement I've gotten this week from people I know in real life.  It's like people have come out in droves to tell me how much I'm failing at being a wife, mother, friend, daughter, etc.  I know at times I talk about the Duke on here, and my attitude isn't always right (I always ask his permission before sharing), but I never complain or talk bad about him in person, ever, and rarely do even with him.  I have to really be struggling first because I don't want to hurt his feelings.  I try to make sure not to complain about other people, put them down, or talk behind their backs.  So it just shocks me sometimes how critical people can be when I don't do the same with them.  I'm finally at a place to put it behind me.  Just so many at once became harder to push aside than normal.

Thank goodness obey is a verb.  Because I don't feel like listening, submitting, following rules, etc.  But still, I obey, it's the right thing to do, even if I have to fight to do it.  I would expect the same from my daughter as much as she can, and I expect no less from me.  I have even done extra projects with baby girl today, and extra cleaning around the house to try to get into a better mindset of serving and being thankful.

Obedience in my heart is here somewhere, it's often a full blown craving that is seldom satisfied.  I'm not exactly sure how to deal with "Who gives a care" EsMay.  People talk about an alter ego.  Maybe she is mine. lol  Hopefully, for my bottom at least, that is not the reply I give the Duke if he asks me anything.  Though I have been tempted.  If I suddenly disappear, you'll know I gave in.  lol   

I have suggested several times this week that we quit DD, did I mention the note from my submission saying it was gone on a LONG vacation?  The Duke says I'm not allowed to make any decisions about it when I'm like this.  The Stinker.  But thankfully he also hasn't pushed any DD structure on me as well... though maybe that is just what I need.  Have the stubborn brat I feel inside beat right out of me. :P  I don't know how to brat, I've never done it, but I feel one growing... she has instigator written all over her.  She wants to stomp around, roll eyes, and stick out her tongue.  Things I don't do, but boy do I want to all the sudden.

I can laugh at the thought of the Duke ruling her, though I'm sure I wouldn't be laughing if he did.  Hopefully it doesn't come to that, today is better than I've been all week.  The sun is out, it's nice and cool, but not cold, and about to go outside.  Hopefully finally seeing the sun will help.  :)  I just opened the window a few minutes ago, and I definitely feel my energy rising.  The headaches I've fought all week are pretty tame today.

I hope you guys are having a better week than I have been.  And if you have any extra submission hanging around, feel free to send it my way while mine is evidently enjoying a cruise or some such nonsense. ;)  I'm not used to not feeling submissive, and feeling a bit lost in it all.  But it should come back soon, unless it finds a tall drink of dominance somewhere.  lol  If it doesn't come back, I'll have to find a new name for my blog. :P  Maybe the Duke should have a set of letters for me to spell obey every day like the ones little girl has above. :)  I wouldn't mind getting a treat every day for behaving, and a toy or book at the end as a reward.  Oh, now I'm going to ask.  HAHAHAHA  I'm so going to ask. :) lol

A Fun Fact About Me

For those of you worried that I don't have any another creative outlets and needed to find other things to make besides implements, I promise, I have some. :)  Here are just a few things I've made.  Just thought I'd share a passion of mine with you.  I'm not good at a lot of things, but I like to be crafty, can't seem to stop myself.  I already showed you my digital creations last week and some of the implements I've made, so I'll show you some hand made things today.  The thing I love about my creative side is that every time I make some digital art, or craft, or project, the Duke just looks at it afterwards in awe and says "I can't believe you made that.  That's amazing."  Or something to that effect.  I love how good that makes me feel.  He would kind of just acknowledge it before DD, now he stands in awe.  I love how much DD has changed him, helped him open up, and share with me. :)  His compliments make my heart soar.

I am an avid knitter.  I made these stockings for us last year.  I erased out our names, but they were done in the colour of the top band of each sock. :)  Mine is in the middle... hehehe didn't mean for it to be the largest.  HAHAHAHA  Not complaining mind you. lol  At some point I may remake them more the same size, but not this year. :)  Or I may just rip the toes out on the Duke's on the left and make it longer. :)

The Duke loves Mario, so I made him a set of coasters out of perler beads a few years ago for Christmas. 

I crocheted these two hats and two blankets for a friend who had twins this year.  The deep waffle pattern made for really squishy warm blankets, they are folded into fours here.  Now I want one.  lol

I made this quilt about 8 years ago.  The denim is starting to wear. :(  This is when it was brand new.  This bed is now my parents.

And I love making teddy bears.  Haven't done it since baby girl was born.  I should try again.  I don't have any myself, I've given them all as gifts.  

Made this knitting roll when keeping all my different sized needles separated, especially those that weren't labelled for size, kept getting mixed up.  I could only find knitting rolls with 8 slots, so I made this.  For any knitters out there, this has rows of long needles, then crochet hooks, then double pointed needles, then tools, then circular needles.  Each column has all the same size hooks and needles.  I love this thing.  It's about 6 years old I'd say, and my best knitting friend.

And this is the blanket I knit for baby girl while I was pregnant. :)  

I took up knitting especially because in my late 20's I was getting arthritis in my wrists and fingers.  This completely reversed it.  15 years or so later, and I have no arthritis for years.

This post isn't DD, sorry.  But thought I might share a bit about who I am.  I love to craft.  Christmas ornament time is coming, and I'm excited.  I also decorate cakes, make fleece car seat ponchos for children in car seats, etc and can follow any lego building instructions. ;)