Wednesday, February 28, 2018

A Great Spanking - And Maybe More - LOL

I asked the Duke for the spanking I said yesterday to you guys that I needed, and then for the first time in a while, I felt all stupid for having to ask for one because it's been so long since I've needed to ask for one.  Like, well over a year I think because it was just impossible to find a way to do them with out little one being so clingy.  I'm 39, shouldn't I be able to get my crap together and not need to go to him for stuff like this?  Shouldn't I be grown up enough to be able to handle my world and not need rescuing?  I know I find some of my responsibilities overwhelming, and I spend the day in "decision and control" mode, but shouldn't I just be okay with that and put my big girl panties on?  So I ended up embarrassed.  So I took my request back.

Me - You know what?  Forget I said that?  Really.  I'll be okay.
Duke - No, if you need one, you're going to get one.
Me - No, I'm good.  I just need to admit I'm adult and suck it up.
Duke - You're still getting one.
Me -  No, it's okay.  Thank you though, but I just need to remember I'm 39 and act like it.

30 minutes later, with little one squirreled away at the other end of the house with my Dad, the Duke comes into our bedroom where I'm doing something.

Duke - Over the bed.
Me - No, it's okay (I didn't say this disobediently, just honestly trying to tell him it was okay.)
Duke - Over the bed.
Me - But, really...
Duke - Over the bed (now said very firmly)
Me - Sigh (and I put myself over the bed, desperately needing this, and sad that I do)

He brings my shorts and panties down once my butt is up in the air.  We don't really talk, we both know why we're there.  He uses the flogger I made a week or two ago that I showed you guys.  I now realize he was being gentle in testing it out before, because now it's biting into my skin, and when he purposefully hits the same spot several times, it becomes unbearable.  Still, I hold my position. 

That is until my skin starts raising in places and the Duke starts to run his fingernails over the raised patterns.  Have I told you that that is a new thing of his the past several weeks?  And have I told you I am the worlds most ticklish person in the world?  I CANNOT keep my position if he tickles me.  When I am tickled, all my breath leaves me in one fast exhale, and instantly my body jerks away and tries to breathe air back in and I can't.  If left like this for even five seconds I get an instant migraine from the desperate fight my body does to bring air back in.  Thankfully the Duke knows this, and stops well before the 5 seconds.  

And then back to the spanking.  Harder, and his aim is getting more direct, he's quickly learning how to control the flogger, and my bottom is paying for it.  And then, our little one's giggle outside our door and we stop, dead still.  She and my Dad go into her room, which is right next to ours with very thin walls.  Unspoken, we know the spanking cannot go further.  I ready my heart, knowing it didn't release, and there is no choice but to stop.  A heaviness sits there.  I would get up, but I am still busy processing for a moment.

Somehow the Duke must have known I needed more, even though we couldn't use even our quietest implements.  So, he gets a plug, one I don't feel emotionally ready for, and somehow he can see that too.  He talks me through taking it, it's large, it's metal, it's cold, it's unyielding, and he keeps talking to me and soothing me, and my submission emerges beneath his ministrations.  He says comforting words of encouragement that I can do this, and praises me as I accept this, his will over mine, and I start to find my sweet spot of peace, accepting that I am his, and he's going to take care of me.  It finally slides into place and all my control evaporates.  I let it go, and just sink into the moment. 

Afterwards he rocks my world with pleasure, an unspoken command that I am to remain completely silent.  And I do.  Thank goodness our bed doesn't squeak!  And I sit there afterwards, in the glow of being shown how much I am his, and how much he has me, and then look at the clock.  Shoot, it's the EXACT minute we told my Dad we would be out by.  I sigh heavy and rush to find my clothes because the Duke has tossed my underwear and shorts and I can't see where.  Finally I find them in the now messed up bedding.

I leave, the Duke cleans up the toys and puts them away, and then comes out into the living room.  I scoot down from my place on the edge of the sofa, he takes it, and then I lean into him.  Needing just a bit more of his strength.  His arms go around me, and helps me sink even further into the freedom of letting go and giving control to him.  I went to bed happy last night. I felt this morning a bit jipped over the spanking having to end.  But in writing this all out, I'm reminded of all that happened, and that jipped feeling is completely gone.  I needed to have control taken from me last night, and the Duke thoroughly came through.  I am so blessed.

Oh, and it wasn't until AFTER all this that I remembered to tell the Duke about what my Dad said.  So we talked about what either of us would say if it happened again.  The Duke also said last night that he'd like to write on several of my posts each month again like he used to!  I can't wait.  I love seeing on the screen what he thinks.  Things he doesn't always think to share with me because it just doesn't come up.  So I'm excited. :)  It always brought us closer together.  This post though he said I could write on my own. :)


  1. Your man takes good care of you....and there are many ways to bring out that submissive feeling...the plug always works for me also. I am excited that we will be hearing from Duke...hugs abby

    1. He really does take good care of me, I am so blessed. And I am glad there are more ways to bring out the submissive feelings because I really was feeling a bit lost when the spanking couldn't finish. {{{HUGS}}}

  2. Replies
    1. Thank you. :) I loved writing it, it was so close to my heart. :)

  3. Wonderful EsMay. Look forward to hearing from the Duke.
    Hugs Lindy xx

    1. Thank you. :) And I'm getting excited too the more I think about it. :) I think I'll see if he wants to do one this weekend. {{{HUGS}}}

  4. Hi EsMay, this is wonderful. I'm so glad the Duke gave you what you needed. He does take good care of you. I'm so happy to see you posting again and am looking forward to hearing more from the Duke :)


    1. Oh, Roz, me too. I sometimes forget how there he is for me, and the reminders are always so wonderful. And thank you, I am loving being back. It's really helping me process, something I need right now. {{{HUGS}}}

  5. Hi,
    I enjoyed your post.

    1. Thank you. :) I enjoyed writing it, and I have to admit, I probably went back and read it half a dozen times, just feeling the love he has for me. :) *I may be blushing admitting that* lol


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