Finally Saw and Read Fifty Shades

I finally caved, and after all your wonderful reviews, saw the movie Fifty Shades of Grey with the Duke a week or so ago. :)  I then proceeded to read both Fifty Shades of Grey, and Grey by myself.  I would only suggest reading Grey for two reasons.  One, if rereading Fifty Shades of Grey would interest you because many of the scenes are the same.  But I still found it very interesting to see Christian's point of view and hear thoughts we had no idea about in the first book, since the first book is only Ana's point of view, even on the same scenes.  And in the Grey book there is about 50 extra pages that I really think readers would like that goes past what was shared in Fifty Shades of Grey.  It shares a lot about Christian and how he handles the last scene in the book, and goes into more detail about his childhood.  But maybe it's covered in Fifty Shades Darker. ;)

I loved this movie and books.  Love them.  I will try not to spoil things if you haven't read or seen the series.  Just my processing thoughts on things. 

The sex scenes bothered me a bit at first, but it quickly became a small thing compared to the relationship.  The writing for Fifty Shades of Grey isn't great, it's much better in Grey, but the plot is amazing, or I found it so.  I felt so much of it resonated with me, and I couldn't get it off my mind.  That is why I ended up reading the books right away.  I really loved the relationship between Christian and Ana.  I have some personal thoughts I have typed up about it, but don't feel ready to share.  Maybe soon. :)

I will say that I had read much bad about this movie and books, about abuse, manipulation, force, bullying, etc.  Since our relationship was all about consent, I was not interested at all in a trilogy that went against that. I just want to say that that isn't the case in the movie as I saw it, but maybe I am wrong.  This is how I saw it.  Except for going behind Ana's back for a safety issue, I found Christian was constantly checking with her to make sure she was willing at each step he took with her. Her consent was very important to him, in fact he was adamant about doing nothing she was against.  If she didn't ask, or didn't say it was okay, it didn't happen.

I guess there is one scene I can see that might bother people in the movie.  Christian gets up to leave after spending time with Ana, and says on a final note, after she asks, that she can only have a relationship with him if she agrees to the dominant/submissive lifestyle he says he needs.  It might come across as mean, bullying, and maybe forceful because he's basically saying this or nothing.  I am not sure that is exclusive to non-vanilla type relationships though.  We all have our list of needs, and don't we say we will only be with someone that meets them?  Whether it be commitment, honesty, faithful, dependable, wants kids, is good with money, gets along with family, gets along with current kids, religion, politics, what have you.  We all have a few needs we're unwilling to sacrifice, even for love.  So I'm not really sure that is reason enough to hate Christian.

I mean, I need a faithful husband, I need him to be honest with me, I need him to love me. Those things most people would understand.  But, I also need him to correct me, I need him to lead and be in charge, I need him to accept and even demand my submission.  I mean, I could function without those, but it'd be really hard, and I would not be happy try as hard as I have in the past, and might if it had to go back.  I HATED being in charge and leading my marriage and the Duke thinking I should have all the responsibility.  I felt myself die more and more every day as more and more responsibility was given to me, and the Duke could coast through our marriage because I was doing all the work.  That was how it was in his home, that is all he knew. My marriage died this way though, and I wanted out!  Our lifestyle saved our marriage.  Thankfully the Duke is very happy with our changes as well since we brought in our lifestyle.  I am doing a post up now about our lifestyle as we're such a mix of things and not just one thing.

So now I have the next movie coming in the mail hopefully tomorrow, and then I'll probably read both point of view books after, and then force myself to wait until I can get the last movie on DVD.  I hope Christian's point of view book is written by then for the last set, if E L James is even doing one.  I hope so. :)  I hope I like the next movies and books as much as I loved the first.