A Month Already?

I was going to try to write more often, and here it is, and I check the date of my last post, and it's a month to the day.  I've debated several times what to write about, and I'm not sure.  Things are going good.  I've gone full steam ahead in starting my novel, and reading some writing craft books to make sure I have an idea of what I'm doing when I have a few minutes to myself.

I PMSed this week, and I told the Duke I needed some alone time, and he didn't give it to me like he usually does.  Maybe because he was the person I was mad at this time.  He had bumped into a telephone pole, and it dented the car and popped one piece of the siding out of the car above the back wheel.  I didn't care about the dent, but I knew the plastic piece could easily be popped back in, I just didn't know how to do it.  So I called and booked the appointment, and then the Duke took the car in on Tuesday.  He told them it was making a scraping noise because of the dent, etc.  So... all they fixed was the scraping sound, and did nothing with the side panel to pop it back in.

The Duke comes back, I check the car, which he didn't before he left, and nothing was done to the outside of the car, the whole reason I'd booked the appointment.  I was D.O.N.E. DONE.  I take care of everything around here for quite a while now.  Everything.  All the house repairs, all the car repairs, all the finances, dealing with his parents and mine, everything to do with baby girl, everything.  The Duke has been stressed and so he's stepped back and I had to take it on, more and more to help him, and all the sudden I realized I was in charge of everything, and the only thing I asked him to do was make sure this piece of plastic got popped back in, and $57 later, it still wasn't done.  I made him take it back, and they then told him they didn't know how to do it, and to take it to an autobody shop.  They gave him a number.  Which he placed on top of our laundry hamper, and two days later, I still haven't touched it.  I just wonder how long it will take him.

Yet, after all this, and I finally had my hour (if you've been reading a while, you know I have this one hour every month where I feel CRAZY no matter how hard I try to calm down, and the Duke usually respects my need to be alone during this hour)  So after the hour, I calmed down and said I was now 40, and "the change" may come soon, and half heartedly suggested maybe I should move out for a few years while it happens.  Boy, did he EVER put his foot down.  I mean, he was almost mad at the suggestion.  I told him it might be best, especially if I was like that for a few years.  He got even more stern, and told me I would never be moving out, even for a brief time to save him from me.  Well, sometimes he can't find that darn HOH hat, and other times it's so firmly on his head, the change leaves me dizzy.  In the mean time I told him he has to stop expecting it's up to me to take care of everything.  He'll pick things up for a while, but it won't be long before he leaves everything up to me again, and I just can't do it anymore.  I'm hoping he'll see now how serious I am... I just don't know how to make him take on more responsibility and stick with it... I feel so... unsubmissive when this happens, and then I feel so... unsexy. 

He asked me the other day if I was not liking kissing him all the sudden.  How do I say I love him, but at the moment I had no energy to find him attractive while getting the roof replaced, the washer and dryer replaced, being really sick from sinus infection and really bad allergies, up all night every night with a child that has terrible gas all night long no matter how much I alter her diet, working every day, and not having a minute to myself until five minutes before bedtime.  I love him sooo much, and still find him attractive... but doing anything that shows it lately... I just seem to not have the get up and go like I used to have.  I used to not be able to keep my hands off this man.  Here's hoping we find a good balance soon.  His work is all the sudden getting less stressful, so really hoping that helps.

Things really are good in so many ways, don't get me wrong, we have been so blessed, I just feel we need to work on a shift as I'm just so tired.  Loving suggestions would be welcome. :)