Saturday, July 15, 2017

Keeping On Communicating

If you are a DD or D/s couple, you know that communication has to become a key part of how you live this lifestyle.  So when all the sudden the Duke seemed to be hiding something, I was struggling on what to do, or how to handle it, without being disrespectful. 

He's been quite down all the sudden.  There were times of joy, but they were short lived compared to how often he seemed to be very depressed.  I would ask him what was wrong, and he would tell me that nothing was wrong.  I would ask if something happened at work, and again, he would tell me nothing.  After several weeks, I really worried something was going on.  Doubts started to creep in, and one of them was that he was beginning to regret our marriage or he was beginning to be interested in someone else.

So I had to bite the bullet and follow my rule of not keeping secrets, of not allowing something to fester inside of me without talking to him about it.  So I went to him and admitted that I felt he was really hiding something from me.  He said he wasn't.  I told him something was wrong.  He said there wasn't.  I braved myself up and asked in nothing but a whisper if there was someone else, I feel sick even remembering how scared I was in that moment.  Thankfully he laughed, said no, there was no one else, and comforted me.  I really can't see him ever doing that, but I had no idea what was going on.  We talked.  Come to find out, he is down, though he couldn't really put his finger on why.  I know work is hard, and we've been extra busy lately, and he said those may be it.  So for the next little bit, we're going to try to really be low key so he can get some down time. 

Thankfully no spanking was issued for asking if there was someone else. :)  Nor for being persistent.  But I am so thankful, for the millionth time, that we have learned these great communication skills, and that I have the rule of not allowing things to fester.  I know if I let it go long term, I could have worked myself into quite a tailspin.  And I honestly believe left to fester, his would get bad too.  Hopefully cutting things back for now will help him get to a happier, more peaceful, place.


  1. Hurrah for you....I am or was the queen of letting stuff fester...I have been demoted to a princess since I still lapse at times...and it almost always turns out...that what we are imagining is much worse than the reality.
    hugs abby

    1. So very, VERY true. That is why I have the rule now to not let things fester. Which is sometimes very hard to go ahead and do, but is always worth it after. Very rarely were things as bad or worse than I imagined. And the reality was easier to deal with even then, because then we could be making definite plans to help things, where as I was just stuck in limbo when I didn't know for certain. Congratulations on being demoted to princess. :) There's a demotion worth being proud of. :)

  2. Good on you Es May for asking rather than let things fester. Communication is so important. I glad the two of you talked through things and hope The Duke is feeling better soon.


    1. Thank you, Roz. :) It was hard, but worth it. I already see a difference today. He works tonight and has the next two days off, and I have made sure there is nothing he has to do, and he knows I'm trying to put together a date as well. :) I think these really helped. :)


Please feel free to leave any comments, but I do ask you to be kind. We go into this with eyes wide open after months of prayer, and a peace in our hearts that this is the right choice before God for our marriage. I am open to questions from those who wonder why we made this choice, but I would ask for no personal attacks. Thank you. :)

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