UNDER CONSTRUCTION

We had to take down all our posts for a while. We did not realize that to put them back up would repost them in everyone's feeds. We apologize for that. We also will do our best, as life allows, to get the rest of the posts up as soon as possible. :)

Sincerely, The Duke and EsMay

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Maintenance Is GONE

I thought I was starting to get better over the weekend, but it was only a trick played by this horrible cold.  :)  Okay, I'm laughing at the comment, not so much at the cold. 

So, DD has kind of taken a back burner this week.  The Duke hasn't put his foot down on things, and in all honesty, I have not had the energy to act out.  I go to work, do my homework, watch some tv, go to bed.  I get half of my chores done if I have the energy, which most days has been no chores actually.

Oh Saturday we talked.  We are finding that maintenance spankings are not working for me.  The last few times I seem to get very riled up.  I'll be in a good mood before we start, and then get all crabby throughout until at the end I want nothing to do with the Duke.  I don't want to obey him when he asks me to crawl into his arms.  I don't want to be held and comforted.  I just want to go off and blow off the steam.

Yeah, totally the opposite of the intended results for a maintenance spanking.  So we talked.  If I feel I need what we are now calling readjustment spanking, then I'll ask for one.  If the Duke feels by my behaviour and mood that I need a readjustment spanking, he'll give me one.  Right now I do not feel that I need a spanking even though I haven't had one for over a week and a half.  I do however kind of want the Duke to be a bit more demanding.  LOL  But, I also understand.  I am sick.  He doesn't want to push me, and I'm busy with work now, so he doesn't want to push me there as well.

I think I'll ask him to just give me a few orders to let me know he's still in charge.  Just little things, like if he wants me in bed earlier than normal, or what have you.  I think we'll get back to our dynamic once I get to good health again.  :)  We have agreed that if I'm sick on Saturday, I'll be going to the clinic.  I thought it was allergies, and it may have started out like that, but I think now it's a sinus infection again.

Anyway, not a lot going on, and this post is probably just a bunch of mumble jumble.

In case anyone didn't know, I got 100% on my test last week, thank you for the prayers.  This week is the hardest one, and it's on a system I don't fully understand, so I'm really hoping and praying I do well.

I also haven't been online at all, so I haven't been checking blogs.  I'm really sorry.  If I get some energy tonight I may, but I don't see doing so for the next few days.  I still love you guys, and love reading your blogs, and will be checking them again as soon as I'm able to.  {{{HUGS}}}

22 comments:

  1. I sorry your still not feeling well. Sinus infections can be miserable. Great job on the test! Hope you feel better soon.

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    1. Thank you. :) I am starting to feel better now. Thank goodness. :)

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  2. Don't you DARE check on blogs if you have extra time! You take care of yourself first.We are all falling apart and getting back together again and again-just like always. We'll all be here when you get back to yourself.

    As far as being ticked after a spanking, that usually means, for me anyway, that I was left in the anger stage of spanking and Barney needs to move me past that. Just food for thought.

    Good luck on your test this week, but more importantly best wishes at feeling better.
    love, willie

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    1. Ok, I listened. I didn't check blogs. :) And I actually am starting to feel refreshed, which is probably good because my test got pushed back to tomorrow.

      LOL, I don't think I want to think too much on your food for thought. LOL It would mean way more pain for my bottom than I would like! lOL

      And thank you, I am starting to feel a lot better. :)

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  3. Yeah! Ditto what Willie said! Enjoy your own free time. We will be here when you need us. Also I'm glad your maintenance spankings are done. I'm pretty sure that would have happened to me too.
    Hugs,
    M.

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    1. Thank you. I don't get much free time in the next week and a half, but I hope to make the most of what I do get. :)

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  4. Oh honey sorry you're sick :( I've been away myself and am just sort of catching up, don't you worry about people's blogs concentrate on getting better :)

    Maintenance spankings don't really work for us either, sometimes we put too much emphasis on spanking to sort our heads out, but they don't. I don't get spanked as much as I used to, but it's ok, I feel good about it. I know he's in charge and I don't need to feel it all the time.

    Somewhere along this journey, we start to just get on with life and don't think of DD as much, that's ok too, it's supposed to be a way of life and not take over :)

    Take it easy and relax, go with the flow and do what feels right for you guys x

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    1. It makes a lot of sense. DD was taking over, but now it's just another aspect of our marriage. :) It is a great way to think about it. Thank you so much for sharing. :)

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  5. Big Hugs EsMay!

    I know how frustrating is can be to feel sick, think you know what it is and how to deal with it, only to find out it's probably something more serious - so I hope that you will go to the clinic to find out if there's something more you can do to kick it out of your system.

    But in the meantime, REST AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE! We'll all still be here when you feel up to coming back.

    And as for the maintenance spankings not working for you, I think I can understand that. I remember you saying in the beginning it was hard for you to accept receiving a spanking when you felt that you hadn't done anything wrong - I would probably feel that way too. So I think it's great that you and the Duke talked about it and decided to do readjustment spankings when either of you felt that it was needed.

    Remember that dd, ttwd & tih is not a "one size fits all"; every couple has to work out what works best for them.

    You are much loved in this community - we'll all be praying for you to feel better soon and to do well in your new job. And if you feel like visiting everyone's blogs to feel connected, then don't feel obligated to comment (which can take a lot of thought & energy) - just leave a smile & say "EsMay was here" - we will understand. :)

    Love, Cali

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    1. Hehehe, cute, Es May was here. LOL I would feel a little full of myself if I did that. LOL

      Yeah, I have usually had a hard time with being spanked when I haven't done something, but when I do do something, I find it really helps to get rid of the guilt to have a spanking. Still sounds funny to say that sometimes. lol

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  6. Es May, Sorry you are still feeling bad. Being sick really puts a damper on everything! Take care of yourself and get well soon.

    Sending healthy thoughts your way,

    George

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    1. Thank you, George. It really does put a damper on things. :( But thankfully I'm starting to mend. :)

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  7. Sorry you've been feeling so ill, Es May. I'm hoping that you are on the mend. Congratulations on your test, and we'll say a prayer for you on the upcoming one!

    (((hugs)))

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    1. Thank you, June. :) The test got moved to tomorrow, I refused to let myself panic or study all weekend. I can look everything over tomorrow before the test. And it is open book, so that'll help. :)

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  8. Awe Es May, I'm sorry you are still feeling ill. Congratulations on your test result, that was so awesome and I hope you are very proud! Wishing you all the best for your next test. Will be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts and prayers.

    Don't you worry about us Es May. We love you and know you are thinking of us. You must take care of yourself and attend to real life first. We will be here and ready to listen when you are ready. I'm with Willie, if you have any extra time then rest! - yes, that's me getting bossy LoL

    As for the maintenance spankings. I think we change and evolve and also go through stages. What worked at one time isn't working so well now. You may find it works for you again further down the track. I think maybe being so busy and being sick is a big factor right now in how it is affecting you. It's wonderful that the two of you were able to talk it through and come up with a solution together. You guys really have come a long way on your journey.

    I understand what you say about wanting the Duke to be a bit more demanding. I crave Rick's dominance in lots of little ways and find it hard to maintain my submissiveness when it isn't there.

    I hope you are feeling much better soon.

    ((Hugs))
    Roz

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    1. Thank you, Roz. When I first read you saying that we'd come a long way, I thought you were a little off your rocker. ;) I couldn't really see growth. But I look back now, and thinking it over, we have come a long way. The Duke wants this now, and not just because I do. It looks different than I thought it would, but I'm actually glad. I pictured us more with him micromanaging me, and thought I'd want that. Now I realize that would drive me BATTY!!! lol

      It can be hard to maintain submissiveness when our husbands aren't showing their dominance. How can we be submissive to someone that isn't asking it of us, and helping us do that? This whole balance can be to fragile sometimes. Beautiful, but fragile.

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  9. I am sorry you are sick Es May! Please take good care of yourself.

    Maintenance has been part of our relationship from almost the beginning but I have to tell you that it has changed significantly many times. I think it's all about figuring out who we are as couples at any given time and changing to meet each other's needs. That is exactly it sounds like you are doing.

    I hope you feel much better soon.

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    1. Susie, isn't it wonderful that we don't have to stick to a mold, that we can change and adapt as our lives and relationships change and adapt? It is also great when our spouses can adapt with us. :)

      And thank you, I am on the mend. Still tire easily, but feeling so much better. :)

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  10. Sounds like you both have made some very wise decisions. Congratulations on your test score. Hope you get to feeling a lot better soon. God bless you and all you love, Belle L.

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    1. Thank you, Belle. I am starting to mend, which I am very glad for. :) I even was so well this weekend that we decided I didn't need to see the doctor. :)

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  11. I'm a bit late to comment so hopefully you are already feeling better at this point. Sinus infections are no fun that's for sure. When you are sick you should focus on getting better. Don't worry about checking blogs or anything. Everyone will understand and your health comes first.

    That is part of the reason I am glad we don't have scheduled maintenance. We just do maintenance on an as needed basis. Well other than those few weeks of 'nightly bedtime reminders' that I had.

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    1. Thank you, I am starting to get better. I can't believe we beat that one without antibiotics.

      And I agree, I am really finding that scheduled maintenance is really not for us right now. It did have a time and place for us, it might again down the road, but not right now, and the fact that we were able to sit down and talk about it and really find what works best for us was great. ;)

      I once wondered if we should have daily maintenance for a while, now I'm so glad that we didn't try it out. :)

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Please feel free to leave any comments, but I do ask you to be kind. We go into this with eyes wide open after months of prayer, and a peace in our hearts that this is the right choice before God for our marriage. I am open to questions from those who wonder why we made this choice, but I would ask for no personal attacks. Thank you. :)

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