Having To Ask Him For Help

Does needing to ask your husband/dominant for help ever make you feel naughty?  Undisciplined?  Like a child?

I have to ask the Duke with help getting enough sleep.  On my own I'm making decisions that are not leading to a good nights sleep.  I haven't gotten five hours any night for at least six nights.  It means making some changes I just flat out don't want to make.  One, is that 11 at night is the first time all day I get any time to myself.  I want to read for 30-60 minutes.  Then I lay there, in bed, and am bored, and over tired, and can't sleep, so I pull up my tablet to play Gin Rummy, I haven't played games on my tablet in ages until this week.  And then all the sudden an hour is gone.  I try again to sleep, and I don't give myself much time before I bring out my kindle and start to read.  I'll usually fall asleep reading it, but the second I put it down, I'm WIDE awake again.  

Even though the kindle is on the lowest light and very dim, and the tablet is on the darkest blue blocking night mode, I'm sure they're not helping me sleep.  I also need to just bite the bullet, and try to go without time to read before bed for a week and see if I do better.  That weighs heavy on my heart, that is my time to finally relax.  I feel a deep cry in my heart against this idea... but this lack of sleep is not healthy, and I'm getting headaches.

So... I will be asking the Duke today for help and for some new rules... because when I'm so tired at night, but can't sleep, I just don't have the will power to make the right decisions.  

Eeek... I hate admitting this stuff, to myself, and to him.

I don't get punished often, I HATE disappointing the Duke.  Something in me thrives and blossoms in obeying him, even if it's not something I necessarily wanted to do... so I know this will be good for me... still I drag my feet.  He'll know by bedtime tonight if we can find two minutes to talk.  

Your Rod And Your Staff

"Your rod and your staff, they comfort me."  I love these words from Psalms 23:4.

They mean so much to my marriage as a submissive wife, so much I didn't realize until we studied them in church one week a couple years ago, and reading my Bible tonight, thought about again.  We took each verse that week, and people told what they thought they meant, and when it came to this verse, people pointed out that the rod was for discipline, and the staff for safety and rescuing.

We definitely own a rod. ;)  I was actually well acquainted with it a few weeks ago.  Eeek.  Just maintenance, but still.  It's not kind either way. lol  But the rod is also there to guide me, correct me, discipline me when I get too big for my britches and start to become someone I'm not proud of, and even ashamed of.

We do not have an actual physical staff, but still, the Duke's arms are my staff.  The Duke is there to rescue me when I start to get lost.  Not lost in a physical sense, but as in feeling overwhelmed and not knowing which way to go.  He's there to rescue me when I start to go crazy and I don't know what to do with myself.  He's there catch me and help me walk the straight and narrow, to guide me and direct me and keep me from getting into harm.  He's there to protect me, and keep me from dangers I might not see myself, or that I do see, but am too tempted to see reason.

What a loving picture this all portrays, even though it's meant to be for God, and it does make me have a new appreciation for Him, it also makes me have an appreciation for my husband, and how much of a job God has intrusted to Him to lead our marriage.

The Kissing Booth

Who here has watched The Kissing Booth on Netflix yet?  It isn't a DD movie, there is no spanking, but there were some things that really touched me as a DD wife.  And an article written on it that really bothered me.

The article talked about how the male lead was not a character that should be in today's type of movies.  That he was archaic, and we had grown past him.

So, yes, he's controlling, but just a bit, which as a DD, D/s, etc wife, um, yeah, what's the problem with that!? ;) :P  lol I can tell you right now that if a guy acted towards me the way this male lead does to the female lead when I was their age, I'd be a pile of putty on the floor. :P  I might even throw in a couple of "Yes Sir!"s for good measure. ;)

Second of all, he gets into fights.  Yes, it's great to grow from that, but when you see the fights he gets into, you understand a bit more that he's not just looking for trouble.

Third of all, he is super protective of the female lead.  I can think of six times off the top of my head where he tries to protect/rescue her, four of those times she lets him, two times she refuses.

She let's him know when she needs him to back off, and all but one time, he agrees, and he respects that she stands up to him, and doesn't grovel at his feet.

So... in all that, I'm trying to find the bad.  Why is this character archaic?  He's a bit of a ladies man, but that happens in any culture at any given point in time.  All I can see is that he's a bit controlling, usually in wanting to protect this woman, and he's protecting.  Sorry, I love that in a man. :)  Bring on archaic characters for me any day if he's one.

So if you're looking for a cute movie, it's a teen flick, but still cute, I highly recommend this movie. :)  It normalizes teenage sex, which I'm not really for, but other than that, found it an adorable movie.  I really liked the male lead, and would love to see what this character turns into when he's older.  I can definitely see him wielding a paddled someday. :P

Finally Found A Way To Connect

I've helped my friend collect sea glass for years, and usually we just get plain semi flat shards.  But on vacation last week, while out scouring with her, I stumbled upon this guy.  I'm guessing it's part of an ash try or something, but it kind of looked like a butt to me, lol, so I thought I'd share. :)

So the Duke and I have finally found something that works for us, as in we've tried it two days now. :P  And have set it for a goal.  It was the Duke's idea.  He came to me over the weekend while I was putting little one to bed, at almost eleven pm.  Yeah, you read that right, all the sudden little one is up until at least ten at night, though this was done in the past as well, but now it's making me super tired, and having no time for the Duke.  But now, no matter how tired I am, we are going to take at least ten minutes each night, aim for thirty, and spend it together.  The first thing we will do is go over the list of rules the Duke and I just put together.  Six rules, eating, cleaning, exercising, etc, but I think they're going to help a lot as we've basically been without rules for a while now.  The Duke says having an actual list he can check off every night will help him focus more... that's a good thing... right? :)

Pray for my bottom, I have a feeling with rules it might be more sore, more often.  Eeek!  Have I almost mentioned the Duke is SEXY when he has his HOH/DOM hat on tight? ;)