UNDER CONSTRUCTION

We had to take down all our posts for a while. We did not realize that to put them back up would repost them in everyone's feeds. We apologize for that. We also will do our best, as life allows, to get the rest of the posts up as soon as possible. :)

Sincerely, The Duke and EsMay

Friday, May 10, 2013

I Am So Sorry

I first of all want to say this isn't a real post, our real post for the day was here:

The Duke's Thoughts - The Vote

I want to apologize for something.

I was just reading around blog land on some blogs I don't normally get to look at, and saw different opinions on boot camp.  I did not realize when we were doing ours and posting about it that there was so many for or against it.  I just thought it was something, that if a couple decided it was right for them they did, and if they didn't think it would help, they didn't do it.

To anyone I may have offended in our posts.  I'm extremely sorry.  I do not root for boot camp for all marriages.  It's just what worked for us.  I can see how it would be detrimental to some marriages, and harmful to others, and just may make no difference at all in some.

If you know of anyone that may have been offended, or you yourself were, by our posts that weekend,  I do ask your forgiveness.  I am so sorry if anyone was in any way hurt or felt pressured.  You all mean so much to me, and I wouldn't want you to think I was pushing it as an idea that everyone had to do.  We simply do not believe this, many couples do not need this, many would not benefit from this.  And if we lost any readers because of what we posted, we understand, and still do apologize.

In DD, find what works for you. :)  What works for your spouse.  What works for your marriage. :)  The key is to find what will make your marriage the best it can be, regardless or what works for the Joneses. :)  NEVER let anyone pressure you.  What works for your marriage may not work in others, what works in theirs may not work in yours.  It's your marriage, you get to make the rules. :)

Back to our inital post, and it's a nice short one. :)  - The Duke's Thoughts - The Vote

29 comments:

  1. Hey Es May...this is your blog and you can write about anything you want. ;)

    Seriously, you have nothing to apologize for. You simply related your experiences with boot camp and the changes you would make in the future.

    Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. Thank you, Cat, that is good to know. :) I was so worried I might have hurt someone.

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  2. Es May in my opinion this is the post you should be removing. Your post was about what you experienced...end of story. You should no more apologize about that then any post!

    Love Willie

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    1. Ditto what Willie said!

      M.

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    2. Thank you, Willie. :) I'll remember to not apologize for posts in the future. ;) And Maryanne, thank you too.

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  3. Hi sweetie

    Sorry been AWOL again :( but hey I agree with the others. This is your blog, and you didn't write a manual or anything, just what you did as a couple and your experiences and what you learnt from it. Don't ever apologise for that. Blogging is personal, you should be able to express how you feel, and as long as it's about you, it shouldn't matter what anyone thinks.

    You did not offend anyone, so don't apologise :)

    Hugs x

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    1. Thank you, I guess I didn't think of it that way. I really was only sharing something we shared in our journey. Thank you for the support, and it's good to see you. :) {{{HUGS}}}

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  4. No need to apologize. Your posts were not offensive. If someone chooses to be offended, then they are searching for a reason. I don't think you could be offensive if you tried. :)

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    1. Thank you, Sarah, that means a lot ot me. LOL, I am told I'm not good at being offensive, I would try to do better, but I have a feeling my bottom would pay for it. :)

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  5. I'm ditto'ing the others above. Its your blog and you can write about whatever you want. Boot camp is one of those issues that is contentious - there are some that are interested, some that are adamently opposed, some that it has worked for and others that it was a disaster for. What matters, is that you and Duke made the experience into something that worked for the both of you and your marriage... and let everyone see a glimpse of that. Nothing to apologize for at all.

    I doubt you could be offensive if you set out to do so deliberately; you're too nice and supportive to everyone else!

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    1. Thank you, Christina. :) I am so glad I'm not cast out of this wonderful circle. :) LOL, yeah, my best friend will no longer let me go to a store alone if I have to return something, or need help, she says I'm too nice. So she steps up for me. LOL As I said above, I'd try to practice at it, but I feel my bottom would be sore from my attempts. LOL

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  6. I absolutely agree with everything everyone else has said! And EsMay, you write from your heart and it's NEVER OFFENSIVE! (And even if it was, so what! Like stated above, this is YOUR blog!)

    And I myself really appreciated your candor & your honesty. It gave a lot of insights into the experience from both the wife & the husband's point of view.

    I hope that you and The Duke can accept that it's okay and not worry about it being offensive anymore.

    ((hugs))

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    1. Thank you, Cali Mom, I am glad that it helped give you an idea of what it was like then. :) I have come to a lot more peace since writing this post. I think I was just overly worried, I really hate to hurt people, and it bothered me to think I might have.

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  7. Es May....I don't think you have anything to worry about. It is not like you were pushing boot camp on anyone...you all were just talking about your personal experience....like we all do on our blogs :) You have nothing to apologize for...so stop worrying right now! ;)

    Hugs....

    ~Lucy

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    1. I guess that is true, I wouldn't say boot camp is for everyone, that would be dangerous. I looked back just to be sure, and I did just share our experience. Thank you for easing my fears on that, Lucy. :) And I will obey your order. ;)

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  8. Tossing my vote in with everyone else here! You were very candid about boot camp and I thought it was a great post!! What works is what works, and no matter what that is, you guys were in it together. :)

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    1. Thank you, Rogue. :) I do have to remember that, we were in it together. It was good for both of us, the Duke especially so. I shouldn't feel guilty for what worked. :) Thank you.

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  9. It's tough sometimes isn't it? When we sit down to post a blog, we never know who is going to react how. You were not offensive, and well if you were, it's your blog. I understand bout not wanting to offend. I hit that myself a lot.

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    1. Dana, thank you for your understanding. I don't tend to evaluate really what I'm writing. I just say what I feel about what we are going through. I guess, I usually try to avoid judgement, so I don't guard my words very well because of that. I think after all the comments today, I can go back to relaxing when I post and just write what I feel. :)

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  10. There's no need to apologize Es May. There are a few of us out here in blogland who should apologize to you. Sometimes people get a little too passionate about certain aspects of our DD community. This whole boot camp thing goes way back and has been controversial and been a dividing point since 2005 when it was first introduced.
    I agree with the consensus above. What each couple decides to do in the privacy of their own home is no one's business but their own. If people are getting upset with you over something you wanted to express on your own blog... wow, I think they might need to step away from the computer and find a hobby! lol
    -MrBBSpanker

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    1. Thank you. I don't need an apology, no one was mean to me, I just wanted to make sure I didn't need to give one to someone else. This community has been very good to me, and I want to make sure I'm showing respect, while at the same time showing who I truly am.

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  11. Darling Es May, I think you've actually found the root of the problem with the Boot Camp issue.... Other people thinking its their business to tell others what is and isn't good for them.

    You tried something, it worked for you. If others are offended by it, that's their problem. Your writing about it shows that like everything there are positives and negatives, that's just life.

    Thankyou for sharing your thoughts about your marriage.

    Callie

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    1. Callie, you humble me. Thank you for that compliment, I really do feel it's a personal choice, and it just happened to be the right one for us. :) And you remind me, I did share what worked for us, and what didn't. I could have said it was all rosy, or all bad, but there was a balance of both, well, more good than bad, but I didn't twist the truth. Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts. :)

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  12. Es May hon, as the others have said, no apologies necessary. This blog is for you to write what you want to write.

    Your posts were not offensive at all. You simply related your experiences with boot camp and how it worked for you. I for one was glad you did post and want to thank you as it is a 'hot topic' and I thought it great to be able to hear from a couple who had decided to try it and read about their experiences. What they learnt and what did and didn't work for them.

    I think you summed it up nicely in this sentence "I just thought it was something, that if a couple decided it was right for them they did, and if they didn't think it would help, they didn't do it". Exactly! We read, learn and take ideas we think may work for our relationship and leave the rest. Each relationship is unique and what works for one couple may not work for another.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Roz, you too humble me, thank you. I am glad then, that I shared. I did want to give an honest tale of our weekend. It was hard to share the bad, I didn't want to turn people off, but I also wanted to share all the good.

      I am glad you liked the sentence you quoted. I didn't realize it made me seem so smart. :) Might have to write that one down. Okay, okay, taking the swelling out of my head. ;)

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  13. You and the Duke did what you felt was best for your relationship. You should in not be apologizing for taking time to strengthen your relationship and focus on your communication with each other. The way you shared your experience was well written and honest. I loved reading it and it sounds like others did as well!! :)

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    1. Thank you, Kim. It really was a weekend that made our marriage better, but I do see how if the Duke hadn't fashioned it more for me the second day, it could have turned out bad, and so I wouldn't recommend it to everyone. I am so glad it did not offend. And I am glad that you liked reading it. :) Thank you for helping me feel better about this.

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  14. Es May--what everyone else said! Your posts were great and you did what helped your marriage. Most importantly, you both used your heads and did what was good for you. I only get concerned when people follow written stuff blindly and don't make it their own. It was so clear going into it that you two were not struggling with that.

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    1. Susie, thank you. :) I don't think we could ever follow things blindly. We truly would worry if we tried to follow something without thinking how it would effect each of us, and our marriage. That would be scary. *shudders* Thank you so much for your support and kind words to us. :)

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Please feel free to leave any comments, but I do ask you to be kind. We go into this with eyes wide open after months of prayer, and a peace in our hearts that this is the right choice before God for our marriage. I am open to questions from those who wonder why we made this choice, but I would ask for no personal attacks. Thank you. :)

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