UNDER CONSTRUCTION

We had to take down all our posts for a while. We did not realize that to put them back up would repost them in everyone's feeds. We apologize for that. We also will do our best, as life allows, to get the rest of the posts up as soon as possible. :)

Sincerely, The Duke and EsMay

Sunday, October 20, 2013

I Feel All Tarnished

I am going to reply to the comments left on my last post... I just feel I need to think a bit before I do, to make sure I'm in a good headspace, which, right now, I am not.

I feel all confined, restricted, and tense.  Our guest is still here.  I felt close to tears yesterday, and thank goodness the Duke took some time to be alone with me.

Yesterday was meant to be something special for the Duke and I, and I feel it got a bit tarnished with our landlord being here.  He was having a yardsale in the back yard to get rid of a lot of stuff he'd stashed in the garage.  Honestly, I think he's going to be selling the place, and just isn't telling us.  So yesterday afternoon we had some alone time, and I thought he was at the back of the property running his yard sale.

Anyway, so a few weeks ago we placed an order for some things from a toy shop, no, this post will not be risque, or not really, lol, and one thing we ordered was a blind fold because the one I have slips off through the night when I need to wear it.  It was supposed to just be this innocent blindfold to keep the light from hitting my eyes before I'm ready to get up in the morning.  It was eight dollars on sale for one dollar, I felt I couldn't go wrong.  Well, imagine the Duke's expressive delight when we get the package and he finds out that there isn't only a blindfold in our package, but a matching thong!  And not just a thong, but one that fit my larger frame.  I had no idea, and was shocked speechless.

So, he expressed a wish a few days later that I maybe get a few to wear for him as the one that was mailed to us was quite stiff and not that great.  I've never worn thongs before, I was apprehensive, but then thought about it.  I've started to wear dresses at home for the Duke, why not try this for him.  So on Friday night I went out and bought some.  I had avoided wearing dresses all week because of our visitor, but yesterday decided that was enough.

So I put on a dress, and my new under garment, and showed the Duke.  He was so honoured that I would do this for him, you could see the emotions playing over his face that I bowed to his wishes in this way.  A few hours later we both ended up in our bedroom, I was on the laptop, he was grabbing something from his dresser.  I joked that I wasn't used to something riding up my butt, and we joked about it for a minute, as well as him sharing how special it was to him that I did this.  Just as we finished joking about it, we decided to open the window to our bedroom.  The Duke pulled open the curtains to reveal the window was already open, all the way open, and he stopped cold.

Standing right outside our window, and I mean RIGHT outside, was our landlord typing away on his IPAD.  Seriously, the man has to go!  The Duke signaled for me to be quiet, and then mouthed what he saw.  This is not the first time we've caught him outside our window while we've been talking, but this was by far the most intimate thing I know he's heard.  This was a gift for the Duke, I did this to please him and be a special treat between the two of us.  Now I feel our landlord knows our secret as well, and I feel all tarnished, and that my gift to the Duke is now less special.

I realize the Duke is stuck between a rock and a hard place.  I am also glad to hear from the Duke how much he is displeased with his friend lately.  Now that I'm giving him more respect and forcing him to understand my love is unconditional, and not letting him think otherwise, he's starting to see how bad this guy treats him.  I was so thankful to hear that.  He's ready for this guy to be gone too.  I know he's reluctant to say something because the guy is apparently leaving today, and we know he can be quite vindictive and manipulative, so I understand the Duke's reluctance to cause an issue.  Our landlords always been like that, and it was why I was so reluctant to move here in the first place.  I do understand that if the Duke were to call him on it, he could make life very hard for us, but I also don't mind moving to be honest.

I will not be dressing up today until after our landlord is gone.  I don't want him knowing what I'm wearing underneath.  It's none of his business.  I hope that I can get the special feeling back about why I'm doing this for the Duke, and make the present I'm giving him special again.

Am I making too much out of this?  Or is this creepy to anyone else?

20 comments:

  1. I do think this guy is creepy and I'm glad the Duke was the one who seen him listening. But don't let this guy take away how special your gift to him is. It's still very special gift.

    You will eventually get used to a thong. Most of the time it's finding the right one that feels comfortable. It took me buying a few different ones before I found the perfect one. I don't even feel it riding up my butt at all.
    Kim

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    1. Thank you, Kim. Thankfully after a few days, the gift to the Duke is getting to be special again... still feel a bit tarnished, but that is diminishing.

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  2. Es May,

    I am so sorry and so offended on your behalf. There are things that I do for The Man that are very private and I wouldn't want anyone else to know. You have every right to be upset. I am with you, that's creepy and rude and shows his true colors of friendship. Far as I am concerned, that is nothing short of being a peeping Tom, and well, there are laws against that.

    The shame is his not yours. Let things settle down a little bit and then wear your pretty things for The Duke again.

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    1. Thank you, Dana, for validating my feelings. I felt so utterly childish for letting this bother me, but it really did. You know... it is like being a peeping Tom. The Duke and I talked it over, and realized, after blaming ourselves too much, that we did absolutely nothing wrong. Our window is in an odd place on the building, not somewhere you'd hang out, so this was intentional. And we'd never do that ourselves to someone.

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  3. Sorry he ruined your moment but as Dana said, the shame is his, not yours.

    I think you should be looking for another place to live. This guy sounds "smarmy".

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    1. Oh Sunny Girl, I do hope soon to have another place to live. :) But for now, he's gone again, and hopefully won't be back for a while. :)

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  4. OH gross...... Total Creep! I'm glad the Duke is starting to see him for what he is.
    You're doing better than I would. I would have told him he wasn't welcome to stay last night.
    Callie

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    1. LOL Oh Callie, I was SOOO tempted! lol I mean, I told the Duke as it was that he wasn't staying after Sunday afternoon, so was so glad at the end of the afternoon that he was GONE.

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  5. Oh gosh Es May,

    I think it's wonderful that you gave the Duke this wonderful gift. I agree with the others, don't let this guy diminish it for you. It is still a very special gift.

    I'm glad the Duke is starting to see him for what he is and really hope he does leave when he is meant to. I think you have done amazingly well handling this. Way better than I would.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Thank you, Roz, I really am trying to be the grown up here... though inside I feel like a hurt little girl, and trying to not. And thank you, he thought the gift was very special too. ;) He has mentioned it several times, and it makes me feel all squishy inside. :)

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  6. Ok the man is a perv and needs kicking in the balls, though such men rarely do have any lol

    I'm so sorry about all this, but don't let that creep ruin your moment with Duke. It was s

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  7. Sorry my finger pressed publish :(

    It was a very special thing between you guys and private and intimate, remember why you did an the happy feelings it gave you and Duke.
    Hope the creep is gone now :)

    Hugs x

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    1. Thank you, Missy, and I am trying to remember why I did this for the Duke so that all the specialness returns. :) It is... slowly, and is getting closer every day. :) {{{HUGS}}}

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  8. I'm so sorry :(
    I feel my panty privacy was violated once and it took me a while to get back to normal. Every once in a while it still bothers me. However, I'm glad the duke is on your side for this one. Fireman thought mine was no big deal. We even had arguments about it. I had to just let it go eventually.
    Your landlord sounds like a real jerk :( I hope he's already gone.
    Hugs,
    Elle

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    1. Thankfully, Elle, he is gone. I am sorry that you had a broken panty privacy as well. It's amazing how "private" we keep this stuff, and how much it hurts when the trust is broken. {{{HUGS}}} I hope that in letting go, you were also able to gain some peace.

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  9. And one last thing, if I had found him outside my window, he would have had an encounter with a baseball bat :)

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    1. OH MAN! I always knew I should be getting one of those! ;)

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  10. Awww Es May...I am so sorry but please don't let the perverted jerk ruin your special moment with the Duke.

    I do understand why the Duke is hesitant to say anything while this man is still your landlord...he can and probably would make your lives miserable. And if I remember correctly, you would bear the brunt of that especially when the Duke is at work.

    I would suggest you two start looking for another place to live where it is 100% a landlord/tenant relationship and hit this guy where it will hurt him...his wallet.

    Meanwhile, put the sicko out of your mind and enjoy showing your man exactly what he means to you.

    Sending lots of positive energy your way.

    Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. Cat, I do feel that is the best thing to do, and hopefully soon we will be able to let him know we are leaving. :) Thank you. :) And I am working on making this gift to the Duke special again, despite our landlord.

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  11. Like Kim, and most of the commenters said, I do think it's creepy as well, but don't let it take away from the intimate and special moment. Just next time, take an extra peek out the window to make sure he's not creepin' around again. ;)

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Please feel free to leave any comments, but I do ask you to be kind. We go into this with eyes wide open after months of prayer, and a peace in our hearts that this is the right choice before God for our marriage. I am open to questions from those who wonder why we made this choice, but I would ask for no personal attacks. Thank you. :)

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