UNDER CONSTRUCTION

We had to take down all our posts for a while. We did not realize that to put them back up would repost them in everyone's feeds. We apologize for that. We also will do our best, as life allows, to get the rest of the posts up as soon as possible. :)

Sincerely, The Duke and EsMay

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Are You A Line Rider?

I have been a horrible blogger the past two weeks.  I have not had anytime to check out more than a few blogs.  This week was promising, but with unintended guest (who is now gone), some last minute emergencies, and the Duke needing to see a doctor last night, it's been insane.  He's okay, but on two types of antibiotics.  I'd love any prayers on his behalf.  He's not sick, but has a sore on his leg that turned bad.  Anyway, my PLAN is to catchup tomorrow night and on Saturday.  I am truly sorry for getting so behind. :(

I wanted to write today about something that has been going through my head.  The other day I was stuck between two cars as in the image below. 


I only took a minute to do it, so please forgive the rough graphics.  So as you can see, the road I was was almost wide enough that two cars could ride side by side in the same lane.  I wondered why the car beside me was hugging the outside line so closely, I mean, he honestly was only an inch or two from having his tires on the line.  So I looked behind me for some reason, and the guy behind me was literally riding with his tires right against the center line.  I myself, no matter how small or wide the lane is, tend to rid with about 1/3 of the available space to my outside, and 2/3 towards my inside.  I found this odd about the other cars, but it got me thinking about DD.

I wonder at times if I am one of these two cars.  The line for me not to cross is clearly marked in many instances.  Yet, sometimes, I ride the line as close as I can, like a child testing the line, just because it's so close to what I want.  Almost like I'm tempting myself with what I can't have until I no longer have any strength and accidentaly cross over the line.  ie, bedtime.  I say, oh, just five minutes more.  But then that turns into 30, and then that makes me five minutes late for bed, but oh wait, I haven't gone to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, gotten dressed, or anything. So by the time I'm done, I've not just hovered over the line, I'm WAY over it.

But then on other issues, like being disrespectful, bowing to the Duke's wishes, trying to keep a submissive mindset, I tend to be far away from the line, hugging the other wall, doing all I can to be good, respectful, and show the Duke my submission.  Like me getting dresses and pretty things lately for the Duke. That's me hugging the wall, liking the safe place.  Me going to bed too late, that's me line riding.

So I feel I have to be more like my driving.  2/3 of the way in between, or even closer to the outside line.  I have to stop testing those limits.  Yes, I want to stay up as long as I can, but it's not good for me, and more, I've promised the Duke I will work on getting to bed earlier, therefore ensuring I'm going to be in a better mood the next day so that I'm more likely to be submissive in other areas of my life as well.

So what about you?  Do you find you're a Line Rider?  Or a Wall Hugger?  Or like with me, do you find it depends on the issue?  So, everyone out there in blogland, I want to give you full permission on my blog.  If I'm ever pushing limits, and you see this, feel free to call me a Line Rider and make me realize what I'm doing, and that this isn't what I want to be.  More often than not, I want to find myself hugging that wall.  It's safer, it's comforting, it's where the Duke's arms are always there to catch me.  It's where I'm not making him question himself, and where I'm aiding in the harmony of our marriage.  I really am glad this small little thing happened to me to make me think.

So here I am, a Spankso, a Submissive Wife, a Needer of a Firm Hand and Strong Voice, a Person Dependant on a Schedule, a Dress Wearer, a Blogger, and now a Wall Hugger.  I wonder what is next for me to find out about myself, or a goal to aim towards. :)

14 comments:

  1. I have never though of it as a line rider, but yes I guess I am one as well!! I think for many of us (dd wives) when it comes to things we may not fully agree with, or just flat out do not feel like doing at the moment it is only natural to push it off until the last minute. However some of us may just do it more then others :) I push off quite a few things, until I know they I can not longer go on without doing it or suffer the consequences. You're not alone!!

    -Tasha

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    1. To be honest, Tasha, I hadn't thought of it either. It can be harder when we don't agree to follow the rules. I never thought of it in the sense of procrastinating too... uh oh... I might be more of a line rider than I thought! lol

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  2. Great post.
    I'm a line rider on some things. It definitely depends on the issue. I think bedtime is a perfect example for me too. I definitely push the limit there!
    Prayers for the duke! Hope the antibiotics kick in ASAP :)

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    1. Thank you, Elle, he is doing much better now, and his leg looks so much better. Augh, what is it about bedtime? Makes me feel like a toddler asking for just five more minutes. lol

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  3. Hey Es May...Depends on what the line is where I ride...LOL

    Sending lots of prayers and healing energy to the Duke.

    Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. Thank you, Cat, he is doing a lot better. :) Ah... that is a great way to put it, depends on where the line is. ;)

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  4. I'm a line rider, lucky that h moves the line depending on the situation.

    Callie

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    1. Oh Callie, that is nice... I think the Duke may actually do that at times too, now that you mention it. :)

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  5. Hi Es May,

    I'm sorry to hear about the Duke. Sending positive thoughts and prayers that his leg heals quickly.

    No need to apologise for being behind on blogs and don't feel pressured to catch up. Life gets busy and we all have periods where we can't spend as much time as we would like here. We understand :)

    I love your analogy. Like you, I tend to be some distance away from the line with certain things and riding it with others. As you know, bedtime for me is one where I also definitely ride the line! Someone for us both to work on I guess :)

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Roz, thank you, he is doing so much better. :) And thank you for understanding. I spent an hour yesterday, got about quarter caught up, lol. But I'm not going to beat myself up like I normally would have if I just have to catch up from here and miss some posts.

      LOL You, having trouble getting to bed on time??? I don't buy it. ;) Yeah, bedtime and speeding I tend to ride the line on. I stay right at the speed limit, so of course, there are times I find myself going 5 over. Woops. {{{HUGS}}}

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  6. Oh what a great analogy :) definitely a line rider, I think I did a post many many many months ago about dancing on said line, I like to live dangerously and as long as I don't stumble and fall over the edge I'm safe. It's just sometimes my very carefully thought out dance steps trip me up and I fall right over his KNEE lol

    I'm sorry about the Duke, hope his leg is better soon :)

    Hugs x

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    1. LOL Yeah, dancing is a great way to put it too, Missy. :) Man, why are those lines so darn tempting??? lol And thank you, he is doing much better now, I am so glad. {{{HUGS}}}

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  7. Definitely a line rider, I need some "rumble strips" placed close to the line, so I know when to drift back :)

    I hope your H leg continues to improve..healing thoughts sent!

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    1. OH! Jennelle, that is a GREAT idea! You could even patten yourself a new type for DD/TTWD/Ds wives. :) I'd certainly buy a set. :) I could put it in my car for when I'm speeding, set it to go off 30 minutes before bedtime... lol. It could have so many uses. ;)

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Please feel free to leave any comments, but I do ask you to be kind. We go into this with eyes wide open after months of prayer, and a peace in our hearts that this is the right choice before God for our marriage. I am open to questions from those who wonder why we made this choice, but I would ask for no personal attacks. Thank you. :)

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