UNDER CONSTRUCTION

We had to take down all our posts for a while. We did not realize that to put them back up would repost them in everyone's feeds. We apologize for that. We also will do our best, as life allows, to get the rest of the posts up as soon as possible. :)

Sincerely, The Duke and EsMay

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Accepting "No"

Money is tight right now.  I don't make much money, and the Duke's job is all the sudden not certain.  Due to this, we're trying to be even tighter with money than we already are. 

I don't believe in spoiling my daughter.  She does have a number of toys, but we are very picky about how many, that they are educational, help develop hand eye coordination, manual dexterity, encourage imagination, etc.  Because we don't want to spoil her, I don't ask often to buy her things.  But the other day I saw something I wanted her to have.  We had just bought a used Little People Disney castle with a handful of princesses and princes for a really good price.  I didn't expect her to really play with it yet, but we have a little girl over often that I thought would like it in the mean time.  But baby girl spends a couple hours a day playing with this castle and Little People.

Last week someone was selling the Little People Snow White and Seven Dwarfs set used.  The Duke said no to my getting it.  He knows I want to get more characters for her because of how much she's playing with it, and he's alright with that, but he thought the price was steeper than we should go.  So he said NO.  NO.  He said NO...

It hung in my heart.  I'm not sure why.  It sat there heavy, hurting my feelings for some reason.  He's said no to me dozens of times.  I remember the first few times had hurt similarly, but that hasn't happened in a while.  This time it did.  I felt my need to be submissive WAR with my want to provide this toy to my daughter that I knew she would love.  It hurt to not get this for her.

I know I'm doing the right thing in accepting the Duke's answer, but I am surprised at how much it's still bothering me.  I mean, it's just a toy.  She doesn't even know we were thinking about it, so she won't miss it.  Maybe it's a sadness over money needing to be so tight as well.  Not sure.  I know that if it were a need, he'd probably be more open to me spending the money. 

So here I am, learning how to immerse myself in submission more.  Even though submission can be hard, I am enjoying the beauty.  The Duke is definitely giving more to me time and attention wise.  He's seeing to more of my needs.  He's challenging my submission, and helping it grow.  I spend as much time blushing as I do smiling, but I still am thankful.  Maybe I'll share next post some of the things he's doing... maybe I'll even be brave enough to share some of the ones that make me blush!  Blushing just saying that!  lol 

14 comments:

  1. I do know how you feel EsMay...it hurts when you have your heart set on getting something for your child and, for whatever reason, you can't. Very proud of you for submitting...you did good. Sending lots of prayers and positive energy that your financial situation clears up soon.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    1. Thank you, Cat. :) And it will be great when money is not so tight. :)

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  2. It is harder to accept the No when we want something for someone else. Good for you for submitting, and I want to know the 'blushing' stories...
    hugs abby

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    1. Thank you, abby. And it is so much harder. :) LOL I forgot about doing the blushing stories, I'll have to do that soon. :)

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  3. Hearing "NO" is often very hard to accept especially when we feel one way and our spouse feel another. It is my weakest area and yet more often than not, when Sir has said "NO" there has always been a good reason even if I did not recognize it at the time. His timing is impeccable, and he is always looking ahead. We never have seen eye to eye with finances and now that I retired this year guess what? I need to see his view. I have also learned that he has not let me down and all of my needs have been met just by following his lead. Hang in there.. it will get easier with time.

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    1. Aww, Annabelle, that sounds so sweet. Sounds like you have a wonderful husband. :) The Duke is not very financially responsible, but he's trying, and I so appreciate that about him. :)

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  4. Hi EsMay, good on you for submitting when it was something you reallh wanted for your daughter.

    It sounds as though you and the Duke are doing well. I'm so happy for you, and definitely want to hear the bushing stories too :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. LOL Roz, going to have to get down to business and write down those stories. ;)

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  5. Hi EsMay, I really identify with this post. It can be easy to accept our men's decisions sometimes, but I have found that whenever there is a no associated with my children, it is more challenging. I struggle with wanting things my way at the same time that I want him to lead, and when emotions are involved in decisions, which they always are when my kids are a factor, I have difficulty being objective and accepting. For me, that's where I need to remember that I trust him, and that his motives are good. This helps, as does explaining why I feel as I do, but it's still hard to swallow.

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    1. River, your words want to make me cry, I SOOOO relate to everything you just said!

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  6. I hate being told no when it comes to either of my kids. It's just so much harder than when it's something for myself. And financial issues can be so emotionally draining. (((hugs))) I hope that things look up for you in that area soon! And, as others have said, I want to hear the blushing stories too! ;)

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    1. Lilli, they really are so draining. It's amazing how hard it can be to NOT buy stuff! :)

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  7. I understand where you are coming from. It is very very difficult to accept the word no sometimes.. Well for me it's most of the time. I know this post is older, but I recently had a issue with this and the results weren't fun.So it was nice to read a success story on submission and personal growth.

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    1. Thank you, Klt3shottie. :) Personal growth is hard, and sometimes I really struggle, but I am glad I can grow at times. :)

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Please feel free to leave any comments, but I do ask you to be kind. We go into this with eyes wide open after months of prayer, and a peace in our hearts that this is the right choice before God for our marriage. I am open to questions from those who wonder why we made this choice, but I would ask for no personal attacks. Thank you. :)

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