I am writing this post on Sunday, and post dating a few days so that I'm not double posting on the same day.
I read a line yesterday or the day before that ripped me apart, and also made me angry.
"A dominant man will always destroy a marriage."
My goodness the world is getting very opinionated, I know... I am one of them, but I really try to hide a lot of my opinions, and work on taming them. But this one hurt, and then, as I said, angered me. I think the world too often links the words dominant with dictator, abuser, and utterly selfish behaviour together.
Yes, there is a kind of dominance that can kill a marriage. A man that never listens to his wife, who belittles her, who demands more and more from her with never giving a thing in return. A man who seeks to humiliate, dehumanize, and torture the one he is supposed to love.
BUT, there is a huge, gigantic BUT in here. There are dominant men who make marriages thrive, who bring new life when a marriage looks dead, who comes in on his brave white horse and saves the day. Those men, those men do not kill marriages. They make their wives feel loved again. They make them feel wanted. They make them feel desired. They lavish love, attention and care on them. They share their burdens, and help lighten their loads. They let their wives know they aren't alone, they have help, they are protected, they are worth all they have to give, and more. These men come in and heal, restore, and bring balance.
I feel there should be two totally different words for these two types of men, and until there is, the two should never, ever, be lumped in together in the same group. I want a dominant man. I want that. I want the kind I described second because our marriage thrives with that man, and almost died before this side of him came out.