Thriving To Please

I had a compliment this week that I can't get out of my head.  It was from a Dominant that I have not known long, but who has taught me a lot in the time I've known him.  He said I was "A submissive whom thrives to please".  And it is so very true.  I did not ask him if I could share this compliment...

Now I know he meant it in more of a different way than I'll share here, and the compliment as he meant it touched my heart, but also, something inside me unfurled.  This lie I had let build up around me for many, many years.  I've been called a people pleaser my whole life, not in a good way.  Friends would try to rescue me, change my way of thinking.

Here's the thing, I like to help people.  Someone in grief?  I don't have the answers, but I can be there to cry on, so they're not alone.  I can come over and look after children, or help clean, or bring a few meals.  I can fight on their behalf when people around them try to rush their grief, or try to rob their right and need to go through it.

I have a friend who's having a hard time.  Twin babies while her husband is out of town, and older children as well.  Sure, it would be easier to stay at home, but I pack up baby girl a couple times every week to help her.  I can't sit at home, especially when I'm not working, and not offer her help.  That isn't who I am.  I can ease her load, give her a few hours to herself or to sleep, help with housework.  That's the person I want to be.  To make her world a bit easier, even if for only two days a week.  The Duke and my Dad know I help this friend because they give me drives since they both need their cars.  Two blogger friends also know because I tell them I'll be gone for the day and can't chat, but that's it.  But now, I know I don't have to hide it.  Don't get me wrong, I won't be sharing with people that I do, it's not their business, and I sometimes get nervous with compliments because so many people are insincere in my life, but it's nice to know I also don't have to worry that people will find out.

I love to help people with their marriages and their relationships and watch them flourish when they were struggling before.  I love coming along side someone who is crushed by life, and helping them see they can get back up again, etc.  I don't do this for me, but because I've learned I can come along side someone who is hurting, and offer them comfort, something I wanted so many times in my life, and didn't have.  If I can help keep one person from feeling that pit of despair like I did so many times, I want to do that for them.

Now, don't get me wrong, there is a line.  I really do not like being taken advantage of.  I flat out hate being forced to do something under threat from someone who should have no authority over me.  There are lines.  I can, and do say no... need to do it more with my parents... but I'm learning.

So, I'm a submissive, and I thrive on pleasing, and I really thrive on being able to please someone's spirit by helping.  I'm never, ever going to be able to be that person who sits to the side while someone needs help, not when I can help.  Sure, I can't always, I might not have the time, money, skills, ability to relate, but I will when I can.

Just something I'm thinking on today.  (The Duke usually checks my posts to approve them in the morning, so these ramblings are actually from yesterday, he'll post after he reads)  I might not be able to talk to this man much longer who gave me the compliment, but he's taught me a lot about myself.  He's helped me face truths that I've buried deep because I've been taught to be ashamed of them.  Things about me that are actually beautiful to have in a submissive personality.  He's been really nice to the Duke as well.  I'll miss learning from his wisdom, but I'll carry what he's taught us with me for life.

This isn't one of the posts I promised on learning about submission, just a post about me.  Those posts are almost ready though. :) :)  And there will be more after. :)

The Duke's Deductions:
This is one thing I really love about EsMay. She cares so much about other people. I love that she is willing to help her friend in a tough time. I am proud of EsMay for being so caring and so helpful, and I love her for it.