So the Duke and I have finally found something that works for us, as in we've tried it two days now. :P And have set it for a goal. It was the Duke's idea. He came to me over the weekend while I was putting little one to bed, at almost eleven pm. Yeah, you read that right, all the sudden little one is up until at least ten at night, though this was done in the past as well, but now it's making me super tired, and having no time for the Duke. But now, no matter how tired I am, we are going to take at least ten minutes each night, aim for thirty, and spend it together. The first thing we will do is go over the list of rules the Duke and I just put together. Six rules, eating, cleaning, exercising, etc, but I think they're going to help a lot as we've basically been without rules for a while now. The Duke says having an actual list he can check off every night will help him focus more... that's a good thing... right? :)
Pray for my bottom, I have a feeling with rules it might be more sore, more often. Eeek! Have I almost mentioned the Duke is SEXY when he has his HOH/DOM hat on tight? ;)
Hi, EsMay! Yes, I think the list is a good thing if it helps out the HOH, right?! We all gotta do what we all gotta do to make this ttwd stuff work. So pleased to hear you guys are working on it again. Yay! And yes, that does look like a butt and thanks for sharing! Nice post! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteIt is true, Windy. :) I am very glad that he was able to figure out what would best help him. :)
DeleteHugs, EsMay
Having a list helps my HOH too. Without it, it seems we float into limbo.
ReplyDeleteJust like us submissives, whatever an HoH needs to do to keep their head in the role is important- even if it's setting a reminder on their phone to check to see that you did that task they required of you... bc then he can hold you accountable without forgetting to check in with you and things can go smoothly from there. You feel secure like he's "got you" bc he didn't forget to notice and you strive to meet his requirements because you appreciate that he paid attention. Just keep striving and growing together. Do whatever you need to do to have success in your own marriage.
Hugs,
Jlynne
Jlynne, that is how I feel, that we've been floating in limbo, with no clear path, and not knowing how to get back on track. I like that idea of setting a reminder. The Duke just has a plain phone, but I think he still might like the idea to set up a reminder to himself somehow to remind him every night. Thank you for the idea. :)
DeleteHugs, EsMay
Hi EsMay,
ReplyDeleteLoL, that does look like a butt. So glad to hear you and the Duke have found a way to connect. I think going over the rules is a great way to keep ttwd in focus.
Hugs
Roz
Thank you, Roz, I really hope so. We have been having a really hard times with the roles lately, and the more he gave up his role, the more I had to step in and take over, and I really struggled with that. I feel a peace about these changes. :)
DeleteHugs, EsMay
That does look like a butt..for me it brought back a wonderful memory to start the day. When we visited my mom in the summer, she would get my kids up early...and let me sleep:)...and they would to to the beach and search for sea glass, telling the kids they had to do it before the tide came in. Then they would have breakfast on the beach....Committing to time together every day and having a list to check off are both great ideas!
ReplyDeletehugs abby
Oh, abby, I love that story. :) I don't know that I watch the tide tables enough to know when it was coming in, I just look once I'm out to see if they're in, or out. lol I love tide beaches though. :) And thank you, I hope these ideas work. :)
DeleteHugs, EsMay
Oh that "making time" thing is a splendid way to connect. And even 10 minutes is better than NO minutes. I wish you all the best - and your butt too!
ReplyDeleteIt is helping sooo much. Last night we could only do 10 minutes, and because we were able to get in half an hour each night the few nights before, it was still wonderful. I don't feel so deprived now. :)
DeleteHi EsMay ... so good to hear you sounding hopeful and upbeat.
ReplyDelete.. a beach glass bum ... now that's a find! Although I've never been apparently we have a couple amazing beach glass beaches around and about our area ... former glass dumps now worked over by Mother Nature ... one day I'll get there.
I hope your new rules help ... and your bum is not too sore! ... hugs! .. nj
NoraJean, I think it depends on who you are if collecting sea glass attracts you or not. :) I probably would never go if it was near by, but when I'm on vacation, and we go to this place, I just love taking my time, scouring the beach, knowing there isn't a thing that is pressing on my time, and I can just be in that moment. It's one of the very few times I just relax in a year. :) Thanks for the well wishes on my bottom, I'll let you know how it goes. :)
DeleteHugs, EsMay