Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Dominant Men

I am writing this post on Sunday, and post dating a few days so that I'm not double posting on the same day.

I read a line yesterday or the day before that ripped me apart, and also made me angry.

"A dominant man will always destroy a marriage."


My goodness the world is getting very opinionated, I know... I am one of them, but I really try to hide a lot of my opinions, and work on taming them.  But this one hurt, and then, as I said, angered me.  I think the world too often links the words dominant with dictator, abuser, and utterly selfish behaviour together.

Yes, there is a kind of dominance that can kill a marriage.  A man that never listens to his wife, who belittles her, who demands more and more from her with never giving a thing in return. A man who seeks to humiliate, dehumanize, and torture the one he is supposed to love.

BUT, there is a huge, gigantic BUT in here.  There are dominant men who make marriages thrive, who bring new life when a marriage looks dead, who comes in on his brave white horse and saves the day.  Those men, those men do not kill marriages.  They make their wives feel loved again.  They make them feel wanted.  They make them feel desired.  They lavish love, attention and care on them.  They share their burdens, and help lighten their loads.  They let their wives know they aren't alone, they have help, they are protected, they are worth all they have to give, and more.  These men come in and heal, restore, and bring balance.

I feel there should be two totally different words for these two types of men, and until there is, the two should never, ever, be lumped in together in the same group.  I want a dominant man.  I want that.  I want the kind I described second because our marriage thrives with that man, and almost died before this side of him came out.


  1. Hi EsMay, well said! There is dominance and dominance.


  2. Hi Esmay, I think whoever wrote that had definitely been involved with the wrong man, we however have found the right ones. We are very lucky.
    love Jan, xx

    1. Hmmm, Jan, I never thought of that, but you are probably right. Or they saw someone in that situation. And thankfully we have found the good ones. :)

  3. Hey EsMay...many people don't understand how to use words properly...don't even understand the definition. There is a huge difference between a dominant man (as we understand and define the term) and a bully which many people define as a dominant. Maybe schools should go back to basics rather than trying to redefine words and terms.

    Just remember...the opinion of the person that wrote that line is of no importance to you.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

    1. Thank you, Cat. I do realize that now. Though reading their statement did bother me at lot at first. So glad I have this blog to get on and sort out things like that. :) {{{HUGS}}}

  4. It is fantastic to hear other people’s experiences with a lifestyle situation that is so honest and real


Please feel free to leave any comments, but I do ask you to be kind. We go into this with eyes wide open after months of prayer, and a peace in our hearts that this is the right choice before God for our marriage. I am open to questions from those who wonder why we made this choice, but I would ask for no personal attacks. Thank you. :)

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