Sunday, December 10, 2017

Disagreements - Because We Both Can Win

I haven't been on in a while, and I'm often saying that.  I'm so sorry.  I'm still finding it hard to manage marriage, child, job, parents moving in, hubby's job on the line YET again, drama with family, some unexpected drama with friends, and on and on.  But, as life spirals more and more out of control, I needed to look at the Duke and let him know I REALLY need him now more than ever.  This constant hanging on the fence of DD, D/s needed to stop.  So I was looking for advice online to help us, and found this blog called "God's Gift To Him."  It is from 2009 and 2010.  Man, how have I NEVER found this blog before???  I have only read a few posts, but they're AMAZING.  I love, love, LOVE this paragraph here!  It is a post written by the husband.

"So today I want to talk about disagreements because you have asked much about them.  Does being the leader mean my wife never gets her way?  no.  NO NO NO NO NO.  In fact, when any struggle for power, any struggle to come out on top is removed, I’m MUCH more inclined to listen better to her, to really understand her and then to make a decision that is best for US.  Before, I wanted my way, would shout my side, would fight to win.  Life is easier this way even if she gets her way more often.  Now that there is no struggle, winning doesn’t matter, what’s best for us matters.  The problem is, she’s so smart that she’s often right.  Before, admitting it meant I lost, now admitting means We win."

This is us.  This is the Duke and I.  When people don't understand why I want to be a submissive wife, when they say that's degrading, and stupid, and I obviously have no respect for myself, I just want to scream that they don't understand.  But this, this paragraph, sums up so much I wish they understood so awesomely!  I actually get my way more often in being submissive.  I am much happier.  I am trusted, my value is seen, I am listened to, not just in words, but in entire meaning.  What I say, think, feel, it matters way more now.  I honestly cannot think of one thing I have sacrificed in being submissive.  I can give you a list of one hundred things, or more that are better, but I honestly cannot say one way in which being submissive has been wrong for me.


  1. Balancing it all is just not easy. Thanks for sharing this. We are 100% better when our roles are ON.

  2. So happy to hear from you, EsMay and totally agree with you...can't think of a think I gave up in giving my submission to my ex and then to Matthew. Sending lots of prayers and positive energy that everything works out for you.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

  3. Hi EsMay, so glad to hear from you, I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. Just post when you can, and want to. We will be here :)

    I'm sorry you and the Duke have been dealing with so much. I hope things calm down some soon.

    I love the quote, it's amazing what ttwd does for communication and respecting each other's views.



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