I can't tell you how great it is to have the Duke back me up. The more we do our marriage, the more we come to depend on each other. I have a sinus infection, it's been here almost two months, I am on my third round of antibiotics. Someone suggested on facebook I use a netipot. But I can't use them. When I was in grade one, I drowned in a pool, and was revived by a lifeguard. This happened during school hours, a class trip.
The thing is, I guess my parents were never told, and the kids in my class made fun of me so much that day, that I never talked about it until I was grown up. So I can't use the netipot, because when I try, all the sudden, I'm back in that pool, sitting on the bottom, looking up at the kids above me, wondering why they don't see me to help me, with my world going black.
I didn't think anything of admitting this to my friend on facebook, until I got a call from my sister this morning. She told me no one in the family had ever heard this story, and wanted to know if I had maybe dreamt it, and if not, she wanted to know why I was lying. I was so hurt. I don't even know why someone would make something like that up. My mother used to lie all the time when we were kids, and she asked if I wanted to end up like her with my own daughter. That hurt A LOT! I mean, I couldn't even breathe at that point. She finally said it was between me and God, but I could tell she still thought I was lying.
I spent the morning crying. I don't even know why. It just REALLY bothered me. So when the Duke could finally call on his break, I asked him if he believed me. And without question, he told me he knew I wouldn't lie to him. He told me he knew I would only say it if I fully believed it happened. It was sooo good to have him behind me. I finally realized that was all I needed. I didn't lie. I can't change the past, and to say it didn't happen would then actually be a lie, and it would eat me inside. I did all I could do in telling the truth, and I can't do more.
DD has brought us to a place where we can have complete trust in each other. Yet another way I am so thankful for this lifestyle. All the communication, it just helps us be honest, and keep honest. Thank you, Duke, for never having doubted for a second.