Sunday, July 26, 2015

We Finally Did It

We had to end up waiting until this past Monday night, but we finally got that first spanking out of the way.

I should have remembered that what I think and what the Duke thinks can be two totally different things, even if we're speaking the EXACT same words.  I thought we'd be going into an easy spanking, just to get us back into the swing of things.  The Duke thought it was an easy spanking, but also wanted force behind it so that I'd take our new start seriously.  I was surprised that I was trying to climb off his lap within the first five seconds.  I can hold my position, we worked hard at that.  But that night, I couldn't have been paid enough money to do so.  I tried, I told myself to behave, to handle it, but I couldn't.

And so you can probably guess that it wasn't long before the tears were coming.  I don't think I got the full emotional release I probably needed, but it was a good start.  Afterwards I wanted to get up and walk away.  But I forced myself to stay and to crawl into the Duke's lap.  It felt odd being there, and showed me just how much things have changed for us over this past year.

I am so looking forward to getting back together as we were, even with our household being different now.  I look forward to more conversations.  To the Duke learning to lead again.  To me learning to let go again.  To us learning to work together more as a team, something that seemed to fall apart when the accident happened.

I have so many hopes, and am so excited.  Through it all though, I'm trying to keep my expectations realistic.  I love this man so much, and am glad it's him I get to go on this journey with as we get back into DD. :)

The Duke's Deductions:

Hi guys.

Yes it was our first spanking in a long time, and this is my first time blogging in a long time. I imagine it is going to take a while to get the cobwebs out and get used to again. Again, I thought I was doing a light spanking, but EsMay started jumping at the warm up lol. I hadn't even moved on to the paddle yet. I got her to settle down and cooperate again. It was good being able to spank her again and feel that feeling of being the one in control. We went to the paddle after the warm up and I thought I was being pretty light with that. It felt good in my hands and good to have my wife submit to the the spanking. I know she found it too hard so it seems we have a few things to figure out in terms of spanking force and quantity I suppose but that is ok, this lifestyle is partly about figuring things out together. Life has been stressful this year so I am hoping this will take away some of the stress. We also went away from home together for a few days this past week so I am hoping this closeness and bonding time will help with the spankings. Anyway, have a good evening.

16 comments:

  1. Hey EsMay and Duke...I'm sure you two will soon find your stride. If I may make one suggestion...don't try to go back to where you were...you are different people than you were a year ago...just go forward from now. Sending lots of positive energy.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    1. That is really good advice, Cat. Especially because I sadly can be the person that sees how it worked before, and takes the same steps to try to recreate it. Thank you for thinking of that. :)

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  2. Hi to both of you. It will take a little while to get into the swing of things (pardon the pun), I hope you can find lots of fun and happiness along this new path you are forging!
    love Jan,xx

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    1. Hehehe, Jan, love the pun. :) The Duke will get such a kick out of it when he sees it later! :)

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  3. Hi EsMay and Duke, it is so difficult both physically and emotionally when you haven't been spanked for a long time. I'm so glad life has settled to allow you to focus on your relationship and getting back to where you want to be. Especially after the year you have had.

    Very wise words from Cat. My advice would be to take things slowly and let it evolve. It will take some time to figure out how ttwd looks for you going forward, but I know you will work through it together. Wishing you the very best.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Yes, Roz, it really was hard to take that first spanking, I wish I'd realized it would be. Thankfully we can go slowly and make it ours again. :)

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  4. Wishing you the very best. Love will get you through the bumps, it already has - just trust.

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    1. Thank you, Leigh. Thankfully you are right. :)

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  5. So glad you are back to it! After a long time without a spanking I find the 1st one hard to take also & it usually takes Clark 2 or 3 before he really gets his "stride" back lol! Communication & patience is what you will need for this new beginning ; )
    So glad you are back!
    Love,
    Scarlet ; )

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    1. I won't mention the 2 or 3 times to The Duke so that he doesn't think he has to get right to them. ;) And thank you, Scaret, it's good to be back. Though it feels a bit odd. My blog feels a bit like a stranger right now. Hoping it feels more like home again soon. :)

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    2. I know what you mean about your blog feeling a bit like a stranger-mine does too right now... I am sure it will just take a little time to get your stride back here as well, but we are here to support you while you do ; )

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  6. Es May,
    It is very nice to see you back! Getting into the swing of things is always hard, but the two of you will make your way.
    Meredith

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    1. Meredith, thank you. :) And it is good to be back. :) Back to blogging and back to DD.

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  7. It is great that you can finally get into spankings again, even though the first was not what Esmay had wished for. I hope you find your way and think Cat has great advice here.

    hugs

    Nina

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  8. Welcome back!

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  9. It's lovely to see the both of you getting back into 'spanking mode'. But as Cat said, take it slowly at first. You have a lifetime ahead of you, remember! And how delicious is that?! Lots of love and hugs to you both and your little angel!

    Ami

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Please feel free to leave any comments, but I do ask you to be kind. We go into this with eyes wide open after months of prayer, and a peace in our hearts that this is the right choice before God for our marriage. I am open to questions from those who wonder why we made this choice, but I would ask for no personal attacks. Thank you. :)

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