Thank You & Update

First of all, my little one is sitting in my lap, hands just a winging around, so she says hi, but please forgive any spelling mistakes she may help me make. ;)  She's quite active today. :)

I want to thank you all for your prayers, messages and emails.  You sure know how to make people feel loved.  And you'll be impressed, I actually, for the first time in months, got back to comments. It took days though, but I did it.  The Duke is healing very well.  Amazingly well, and so now I feel a bit stupid for how worried I have been.  He still has double vision which is a worry since the accident was almost two weeks ago.  His doctor told him at two weeks to see his eye doctor, so he is tomorrow morning.  I've been considering a different eye doctor, but we can't for this visit because his eyes have to be tested and compared to what they were at his last year visit.  I'm praying they can find a way to help him.  For now, he's still not allowed to do anything.  This caused quite a bit of trouble up until the weekend, with the Duke getting more and more cranky as his body was more and more healed.  But finally he realized what a strain he was putting on me, and apologized last night.  His confusion is totally gone, and except for a dream like moment on Friday because he became overwhelmed with being in public (we had to go to his work to fill out Leave of Absence forms) he has not had any more dream like moments. 

The only other thing that the double vision is that one of his thighs feels numb.  I know from several friends that this can heal itself, or it might remain for life.  It isn't hurting him, so if that stays that way, I'm not too worried.  We have let the doctor know, and she's going to look into it, but there seems to be nothing to be too concerned about.

The one thing that was hard especially this week was Wednesday.  I had to take our daughter for her two months shots, take the Duke for another doctor's appointment, then take him to the hospital to have the staples in his head removed... all before needing to go see our car.  You know when you see a car all smashed up and it sends shivers up your spine?  It feels like a ghost of a car, and you're filled with this sort of dread?  I really expected that.  Maybe it's because I'd seen photos first (which I literally broke down bawling and couldn't breathe for a minute when I saw them) but when I saw the car, my mind was just trying to process that it was all real.  My trunk and back seat are basically non existent.  Yet the 12 inches of the backseat that did not get crushed in, right behind the driver's seat, was the baby seat.  Which is always in the middle seat, yet somehow ended up in behind the driver's seat, scratched, but amazingly not broken.  Don't worry, we still know not to use it again.  And glass.  Did you know car windows shatter into miniscule little pieces?  I didn't.  It was like someone had emptied a snow cone machine into my car.  And then when I was finally brave enough to go around to the back passenger side, I just stood there, numb.  I'm sure the owner of the lot thought I was crazy.  Or maybe other people do the same, and just stand there, and process.

As a lot of you suggested, we put the ideas of leading and submission on the back burner.  Which is good, because today I caught the Duke texting on his phone, which was a major no no from his doctor.  I didn't lecture him or anything, but I did admit how severely disappointed I was in him, and took the phone away.  I felt HORRIBLE doing it.  But knowing his behaving now helps determine how long he'll have the double vision, and I don't want it for life, is what drove me to act.  It is so against my nature, and I still don't feel good about it, but I know it's what had to be done.  He said he understood.  He even said I could punish him.  Yeah, that was WEIRD!!!  Though I know he didn't mean a spanking, still, way out of my comfort zone.

I took a picture, purposefully putting my ring finger in the picture to show you this was a real accident, knowing it can be hard to trust people you don't know.  But then I changed my mind and realized those of you that know me know I'd never lie to you.  But when the Duke found out I'd taken the picture, he wanted me to show you, to show how thankful he is to be alive.  So I'm putting it below.  Please, only look if car crashes don't bother you, because this was scary. :( At least for me, knowing the man I love was inside.

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In some ways it is better than I'd been told, and seen pictures of, and in some ways it is worse.  The fender through the back window was tossed in after the accident, that is not where it landed during it. Even still, no part of the back seat or trunk is accessible.  The only door that opens is the driver's door. The only thing in the whole car that does not look broken to pieces is the Duke's seat, and even that, the head rest is snapped back.  God really sent an angel to protect him that day.  It could have been so much worse.

{Sorry, I'm sitting here in the middle of the night feeling very strongly that I needed to pull the picture off.  Sorry.}