Does Not Equal No?

So, as you know, in the submissive exercises I listed last week, one was to avoid saying no.  And usually I am very good at doing this, but then tonight I almost slipped!  And maybe this still counts as slipping.  LOL

We are with company, and so the Duke can't really call me out on it, but I do wonder what happens when he gets me alone tomorrow... *GULP*

We are storm stayed at friends tonight.  The Duke just looked out not long ago and said that the snow had stopped, and there was still snow on the roads.  But the way he said it, it sounded like he wanted to head home.  Now, in this one area, we're backwards in our roles.  The Duke is the less experienced driver, can read in the car, and prefers to ride shotgun.  Yeah, goes against our blog header a bit, lol.  I can't read in the car, tend to like to drive instead, and am more experienced, so we just naturally have me drive whenever we're together.

Anyway, when he said that, I looked at him and said "Are you asking if I'll drive us home tonight?  Because my answer will be 'Not Yes'".  I have a feeling that might still count as a no?

Part me actually hope it does... I'm feeling a disconnect, a distancing from the Duke, and I don't like it.  I know it's just because it's been a busy week and I'm fighting what I think is a sinus infection, but I miss feeling the security his leading brings me, and being away for two days makes it harder too.  I've gotten out of the habit in the week I've been sick of changing into dresses when I get home, of making the bed before I leave for work, of exercising, and this makes me feel lazy, and like I'm failing.

I am trying to tell myself that I'm needing the rest, and as I sit here now, I am fighting a chill I caught being out in the storm today, it couldn't be avoided, and I am covered in several layers and a thick blanket.  With how sick I was last year, I need to fight a couple of infections on my own so I can to build up my immunity again.  But I still wish I could be doing more.  So in the mean time, I'll half hope that he counts that "Not Yes" as a NO and help me back into a good space. :)

If he doesn't mention it, I'll go and admit to needing a spanking, and maybe will even do so before bed tonight so that he knows for tomorrow.  We go to a wake for a good friend's mother tomorrow night, so we'll be late getting home, but I think we'll still have time before it's my bedtime. 

I hope you're all having a good week. :)