Hopefully I do not offend anyone in this post, I just find I need to do some processing, and blogland has always been the perfect place for me to do so. I will not be going into detail about anything, I promise. :)
So, we've never owned toys. It's just not something we ever did. Now, I won't lie, I have been intrigued by them off and on, and wondered about them, but it's just not something we ever looked into. But since we started DD, we have noticed that if the Duke touches my bottom at all, no matter where, I become a submissive glop of goo. Knowing this, we decided to look into a butt plug to see if it would help me stay in that submissive goo for longer periods. *GULP* yeah, you read that right.
When we went to order it, it gave us one of those little warnings at the top of our cart. Basically it said if we spent $20 more we got free shipping, or else shipping was $10. We figured we'd spend the extra $10 and $20 worth of stuff. So I let the Duke handle that. I didn't really want to take over. He did ask my opinion on stuff, but I let him pick. Well, be careful when you do that! The Duke was able to find sales on everything he wanted by looking around enough, and was able to get THREE toys that came to within $2 of the $20 we intended to spend, each one totally different than any of the others. And all high quality, but on sale like 60% off or what have you. Man, I need to take him shopping when I buy stuff! ;)
Well, they came in the mail yesterday. I washed them up and put them away. But no, I was not so lucky. The Duke decided he wanted to try them out. Try EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM out. Never having done this before, I was both embarrassed, and submissive. I reached a state in my mind I am not sure I have reached before. I was his, to do with as he willed in a way he'd never asked of me before. There was no saying no, there was no fighting what was going to happen. He was taking charge, and I was his to play with. I had no say in the matter. I let go, completely.
Today I feel a bit weird, I actually feel a bit lost with him taking off to work. I don't miss him per say, but feel I need his strength here with me, and it's gone. I want to snuggle back into his strong arms and feel safe, but they're not here right now. :(
I don't know if all I'm feeling is good. It just all feels so different. I think it's good, but as I said to start with, I just need to process it all. Anyone have any words of wisdom to share here? Would greatly love them.