The other night when my parents were over, we gave them our bedroom and we took the futon in the livingroom. We were joking about after they'd gone to bed, and for some reason, like in my last post about pinging the Duke, I got the urge to do it again!
So... I pinged him... right squared on the nose!
Duke: I’m not a cat
Me: That doesn’t mean I can’t punish you like one *failing miserably at not laughing while saying this*
Duke: Yes, that’s exactly what it means
A little bit later the Duke was trying to jokingly smoother me. I wanted to sleep.
Me: *complete with sleepy whine* I just want my spaceDuke: My space? Isn’t facebook enough for you? *complete with laugher*
So, as you can see, I'm married to a stinker! :)
Anyway... I promised to tell you what I'm learning about submission in the show Bones. First of all, let me just say... the character of Booth, SO SEXY. Not because of how he looks, but because of how protective he is of the female lead, Bones. She is independant, has had to basically take care of herself since her parents disappeared when she was 15. Booth is an FBI agent. He is alpha male, protective, can be demanding, and has these cute goofy quirks. But every once in a while he makes a demand of Bones. Usually this involves her fighting for her independence and him fighting to protect her. But all he has to say is five little words for all of this to change. He will look at her with pure worry in his eyes and say "Can you just trust me?"
Five little words that turn her from defensive to submissive. Her whole face melts, and her eyes, you can actually see the submission filter in to allow him to take control. Once she does that, she lets him lead, she lets him take care of her, she does what is asked of her, because deep down, even though she doesn't trust the world, she knows she trusts him.
There are times when she's in danger, and she is told not to believe that Booth will come through, but she does. He's been there for her, he's protected her at the risk of his own life. She knows to trust that he won't give up until she is safe again, and that in itself is a submission to not worry.
Now, don't get me wrong, there are still times they fight, there are times he doesn't ask her to trust him and do as he asks and she takes off on her own, but seeing the times she does give in, the times she does trust, it's just beautiful. She comes to depend on him like no one else. She knows he will take care of her, be there for her, and help her sort out the things in life that she can't.
I just realized this while watching Bones on Sunday. And it's something I'm going to talk to my husband about. Five little words, but I think if he can remember to say them to me at times, it will mean a world of difference to us. She knew she could trust him, but sometimes the heat of the moment makes us forget we can let go, and she needed to be reminded. Sometimes we just need the right words said to us to change everything. When I'm worried, and the Duke can take care of it, I need to be reminded if I'm caught up in the heat of the moment that I DO trust him.