Monday, January 21, 2013

New Foundation

It's so late, and I'm falling asleep, but I feel I need to share about tonight.  I got off work early, and when we came home, I was a bit despondent.  My husband asked why, but I couldn't even really share.  I'm sure it looked like sulking, and maybe deep down that is what it was, but I really couldn't think of what to say.

My husband and I may need to move, and I told him about an apartment I'd been told about, literally across the street from where we work!  So convenient, and it'll allow us to keep our cats.  No more half hour drive just to get to work, or get back home.  But he panicked, and I tried to be patient, but had a hard time.  Also, I feel like we're just playing at DD up until now.  I tell him when I've been bad, and then have to remind him to punish me.

But I finally was able to talk about it a bit later tonight.  I got him to read MustBeCrazy's post for today.  We talked about it, and he realizes that I need consistency.  That when I don't have that, I feel unloved, and not worth his time and effort.

So we sat down and talked about some rules I should have.  We started out small, but things I really struggle with.  Callie talked the other day on her blog about being electronic free from 10am to 1pm every day to do housework.  We had been trying to figure out a way for me to work well at house work, and decided we liked how they put it.  So tomorrow and every week on the first day of my weekend, I am to have no electronics for those three hours and am to busy myself with housework.

I also struggle with my weight.  I wrestle with a disease that made me fat, and makes it over two times harder to lose weight than someone without the disease.  I've managed to not put on weight this year, which is a huge triumph, but I want to LOSE weight.  I want to lose 100lbs in fact.  So we started two new rules.  At least 2 hours of hard work outs a week, and only one small treat a day, and in a month, it will be only a treat a week.  If I eat more than one treat in a day, I have to go without supper and with a spanking.  The supper part was my idea, the idea of going the night that hungry really bothers me, especially since I wrestle with low sugars.  My husband agreed so long as I don't get in danger of passing out.

Then he paddled my bottom good for having two peanut butter muffins today.  He started out with a warm up, and then spanked me a good 40 - 50 times with the bath brush.  It hurt, but not afterwards.  So he did another warm up and another 40 or so with the bath brush.  Still, no after burn... really, what are my buns made of?!?!?!  So we wrestled around for a bit, and then he tried to spank me hard with his hand 20 times, now that actually stung since the skin was already spanked before, and even now it's still sensitive, but no burning.

Then we wrestled a little longer, and he grabbed my hands tight, put them around his neck, and I couldn't get free.

Husband: "See, you love me so much you can't keep your hands off of me."
Me: "Yeah, you wish!"
Husband: "You love me so much you have to have your arms around me all the time!"

Smart.... butt!  lol  I love that man.  I needed that spanking tonight, I need to look at food differently.  I need to eat less bad stuff.  I need to learn to make better choices.  I need to begin exercising again more regularly.  I broke a toe this fall, and that got me off my normal exercise regime, and I desperately have to get back.  I hope to be back to at least 40 minutes a night 5 nights a week soon.

So that is tonight.  A lot of promises made on both sides, well not so many as in so important I guess.  I pray we can stick with them!  He really does not want to give up on DD, but I told him it needs to be a way of life and not just when it's fun so that I get the balance.  After an hour of talking tonight, I think he really sees that's true.


  1. Hi Es May, I'm glad you two talked. Communication really is vital to any TTWD relationship. If I may, I would suggest reconsidering the no supper idea for health reasons, especially given the issues you mention with blood sugar.

    I don't always have that after burn either, depending on the implement used, but that doesn't mean the the spanking wasn't effective.

    Wishing you all the best on your journey.


    1. You might be right about supper... I was just trying to find something I would HATE doing as more motivation. I think I'll take some time out today to find a more reasonable way to motivate me. :) As much as the spanking didn't burn last night, I can feel that my bottom is irritated today, almost like someone ran sand paper over it for a minute. So that might be good, a nice reminder to behave today! :) Thank you for stopping by and checking in to see my new blog. :)

  2. Hi EsMay
    Sorry it's took so long to figure out you have a blog, otherwise I would have been here earlier lol
    I'm glad you talked to your husband, sorry you got a spanking, really hope it wasn't my fault ;) but you do seem happier.
    Wow that's some spanking with the brush lol at you asking what your buns are made of. I think the same about mine. I'm pleased you got the release you needed.
    I have to go get the kids from school now, but going to come back and read your blogs and come up to date :)
    Wish you a spank free day and sending you hugs and support about your weight loss challenge
    You can do it x

    1. Like I could ever blame a spanking on anyone else! ;) I showed it to him to show him that I sometimes needed a harder/longer spanking. And after reading your blog last night, and talking for a while, he realizes he needs to talk to me more, aka lecturing, and also needs to realize I'm not going to break. :) If this keeps going good like he's promising, I'm going to owe you big time for changing his mindset! :) :) :) Thank you for coming to read, I can't believe the support I'm getting from other bloggers. I feel loved already. :) I will have a mostly spank free day... we decided last night that Tuesday nights and Saturday mornings will be maintenance until we get in a groove, and then only once a week. But it shouldn't be TOO bad. :) And thank you for the support, I'll need it to shed the pounds! :)

  3. Hi Es May

    Hope you don't feel attacked when I say I'm with Roz on the supper idea. Loosing weight is most successful when we develop healthy eating habits. So maybe no treats, but have a cheat day at the end of the week? I know not as much motivation. Also there are lots of websites that offer lo cal healthy 'treat' type snacks recipes for those cravings. Heck even half a popcicle is low cal and lasts a while..okay no more diet

    It takes a while to figure out what works as far as spankings go...I very rarely 'feel' it during, but there is a definite reminder the next day. A friend once suggested I go into 'sub'space. during. I do recall 'feeling' it when I was being punished, and then in the hand incident I described in my last post, more because Barney was motivated.

    Truly for us it is about the connection...

    I think it is great that your husband agreed to maintenance. It really has helped Barney get more comfortable with the whole idea.


    1. I find that we are really connecting during spankings. Well, I feel my husband is during the spanking, and I am in the cuddle time afterwards. But he's also more cuddly altogether because of it, and I love it. :) I hope you're right about maintenance, my first official one is tonight... and my skin is still a bit irritated, so we'll see how it goes! ;)

  4. Hi Es May, this is my first visit here. I'll be coming back and reading here often :)
    Building your foundation by having a well discussed plan early on in a DD relationship dynamic is so important. Looks like you're off to a good beginning!

    1. Thank you so much for stopping in. :) Thank you for the words of encouragement. I know you have a lot of knowledge in this, and that means so much to me. :)

  5. Hey Es May!

    Sorry hun, your buns are made of the same stuff as mine...steel...that is what we have! Though we have found that changing the implement used during the spanking does make a difference...try a soft leather belt..not the buckle end...I have found that reminds for all of 10 to 15 mins afterwards!

    Don't miss out on supper..not with your health issues :) I am almost the same with putting on weight because of a health issue.
    I could go to the doctors to rectify the issue, but that would mean being on tablets for the rest of my life with blood tests and other tests done each month ...FOREVER! But the tablets would take the weight off apparently. That is why you have to be monitored each month, because of losing to much weight...then they put you on tablets to get your weight back up again.

    I said No...what I have is not going to kill forget it...but anyway, my point is this, after digressing so much...still have supper...but...

    Have a list of chores that you absolute HATE!!! like cleaning skirting boards, ceiling fans, door frames, doors etc. Then when you muck up and have more than one treat in a day you have to do one of the chores you hate. Believe me...I hate cleaning out cupboards, now most of my cupboards are clean and tidy!!!

    Great about your communication too...a great foundation to build on.

    Hugs Es May

    1. That for me would mean the fridge or microwave. I'll clean the freezer in a heart beat, but I think for the fridge and microwave it's because I have to lean in to a small compacted area and then I feel clausterphobic, which is weird because I never ever feel that way at any other time doing anything.

      Now that I wrote that, my husband will definitely see it! LOL

      I am sorry you wrestle with a disease that puts on weight too. I have just recently stopped defending myself when people bring up my weight. It is what it is, though it will be really hard to lose it, I am going to try.

      Hehe, my buns WERE made out of steel until maintenance last night after a punishment spanking the night before. YOWZERS! They are tender today. LOL I thought he did have a leather belt, but when I went looking for it a month ago, could not find it. He thinks we don't have it anymore. Oh well, after last night, I'm REALLY okay WITHOUT it. ;)


Please feel free to leave any comments, but I do ask you to be kind. We go into this with eyes wide open after months of prayer, and a peace in our hearts that this is the right choice before God for our marriage. I am open to questions from those who wonder why we made this choice, but I would ask for no personal attacks. Thank you. :)

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