So this is where we were at yesterday without my knowing it:
Wife: I'm so frazzled, and I'm about to completely break down, and I just need my husband to step up, show me I don't need to be in control, and allow me a much needed release.
Husband: My poor wife is back to work at a job she doesn't think she'll like. She's sick. She's tired because I've been snoring. I need to take it easy on her this week because she doesn't need anything else on her plate.
Yep, we made that huge mistake. We didn't communicate enough with each other. I sometimes feel he should just know... but that gets me no where. I felt this morning that he didn't love me, and that I was still wearing the pants in our family. So my husband decided today when I was all out of sorts to read the last few days in my blog, he tends to read it 2-3 times a week. He then went on to other DD sites. He said he thought that I'd need my space this week, but he says he learned after reading my blog and some other blogs that a woman often needs DD more when she's over whelmed, not less.
It was a great talk, and really, I should have realized sooner that we needed it. Usually I am a great communicator, but I think the fact that I am overwhelmed actually kept me from doing the things I needed most, and would normally do. I don't know what tonight will look like, or if anything will even happen, but it's great that he's understanding more now.
Today also helped at work. I actually did not realize how much I needed a release until I had one. My trainer told me today that I was doing the best in the class, and that when certification came on Monday, I'd be getting 100% no problem. Now, I don't know that I'll get 100%, but after my worries yesterday, I couldn't believe it. This was said at the end of the day. I went to my friend's house right after work, and while I was waiting for her to get off the phone, I started crying. Not a lot, just for a minute, but I just was needing that release, and to hear him say I was doing okay when I was so worried after yesterday... it meant a lot.
Now to rest for two days, and only clean when I feel up to it because tonight I have a really sore throat on top of everything else, and it looks like I'm running a fever. The house work might have to wait... but I think I can handle it as long as I get better. Have not been this sick in a long time.