Being Sick

I have been so sick for days, and am so glad to feel up to sitting up today.

Last night I was debating still lying around or trying to exercise.  Sometimes when I'm pondering something, I say it out loud.  I don't mean to, and usually when I'm around people I don't, but I'm so used to my husband being around that I've slipped into doing it while he's here.  So he heard me.  He said "I want you to get up and exercise."

I was stunned.  It's been so hard to get my husband to tell me to do stuff so far, or to make up rules of his own.  A lot of it has still been me making up rules, and then just telling him when I broke them, so I've still been struggling with feeling in charge, and wanting to let that go.  So when he told me that last night, I was really taken a back.  I looked at him and said "What?"  He then went on to repeat himself.

I really was still feeling really yucky and weak, so I asked him what would happen if I didn't obey.  I wasn't trying to be bratty or test my limits, I just honestly was that tired and sick.  He said he'd give me a spanking.  Let me tell you, at that moment I honestly considered still not doing it.  All I wanted to do was sleep, what had made me even consider saying I was thinking about working out?  He saw me debating, and added that I would lose my laptop for the rest of the night, which didn't phase me any because at that moment I just wanted to go to bed.  He then said he'd take my laptop for the entire next day, which is today.

I like to have my laptop when I'm sick, to play games on, or watch movies on, just something I can do all cuddled up in bed.  I got up, and asked him if I needed to do 30 minutes.  He said no, I had tried to do 30 minutes earlier in the day and only got in 15, so he said I could just do another 15.  Let me tell you, all I did was march on the spot and do a 5 minute wii fit stepping.  I ended up doing 20 minutes for marching and the 5 minutes on the wii because I wanted to show him I wanted to please him.  I looked like an old lady doing a shuffle, I didn't even work up a sweat I was so physically exhausted from having a cold and flu at the same time, but I really think it helped.  My breathing was a bit better afterwards, and my achy muscles weren't bothering me as much.

My husband doesn't care what I look like, he actually almost seems afraid of me losing weight.  But still, he stepped up and is helping me keep my goals.  I am so thankful for that.  I think he also remembered me saying once that sometimes when I'm sick I just need to exhert myself.  I never would have done so on my own last night, and maybe that is why I'm feeling a bit better today.  Feed a Fever, Starve a Cold.  Let's hope it's right.

This coming week is our anniversary.  We're hoping to be able to sit down and do a lot of talking about what we think so far, what we want in the future, and any rules we'd like to add, adjust, or what have you.  My husband has to have a small lump surgically removed tomorrow from his chest, so our plans to do a full boot camp have to be put off.  I really don't want him to do anything that would injure himself, so I have asked that he not do so this weekend, and he agreed.  I was really looking forward to doing the boot camp on our anniversary, but God's timing is always best.  I start a new job on Monday, so maybe this isn't the weekend to do it with the new job anyway.  My biggest hope for the weekend now is that we can write up a sort of contract to each other.  I guess for me it feels like a renewing of vows.  I can't wait.