tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post837085617144260120..comments2023-06-13T11:57:48.024-03:00Comments on Submitting To Be Led: A Lie And A SpankingUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-32961596568992184662013-08-21T18:55:24.914-03:002013-08-21T18:55:24.914-03:00Oh Cole, you have no idea how much I agree. My bes...Oh Cole, you have no idea how much I agree. My best friend was over again last night, and I almost told her the truth. I am always honest with her, and authentic, and it seems so weird now not to be. But I'm going to keep thinking of this as a part of our intimacy, and just not talk about it I think. :)<br /><br />Oh, never heard of Dinah McLeod, I'll have to check her out. :) A few people wrote and suggested Patty Devlin, so she's next on my list to get, and I think I have enough of my gift card left to get all three of her books in her first series. :)Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-35651649173968495352013-08-21T12:27:23.457-03:002013-08-21T12:27:23.457-03:00Well Es May, I may differ in the fact that I think...Well Es May, I may differ in the fact that I think a lie is a lie...not matter why or what...but at the same time I would have done the same thing. Sigh. This is by far the most frustrating thing about dd for me. As Christians we are to be authentic and vulnerable...and dd makes me feel like I am living this secret life...which in essence we ARE. I hate lying to friends whether by commission or omission. I get that it is necessary-- that people won't understand .. But it is still HARD. Hugs! <br /><br />As for books...I really struggle with this as well. I love dd fiction. But while I don't struggle for the same reasons...most are just more than I am comfortable with. But as for some "clean" stuff ;) check out Patty Devlin's books and Dinah McLeod's new books. They are all great and clean! :) Colehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14094102802633154552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-55880248226268362002013-08-19T23:10:55.208-03:002013-08-19T23:10:55.208-03:00Oh Jan, never worry about commenting here, I'm...Oh Jan, never worry about commenting here, I'm so glad that you did. :) And thank you for easing my fears about the lying. It is hard, but it was done to protect something very precious to me, and that helps when put into perspective. LOL yes, some books are enough to turn me vanilla, but I have heard Patty Devlin and Maren Smith named a few times, so I'm going to check them out. :) Thank you. :)Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-74252908388970595412013-08-19T23:09:05.104-03:002013-08-19T23:09:05.104-03:00Oh WOW, that makes perfect sense. I never thought...Oh WOW, that makes perfect sense. I never thought about it, she did line me up for what the answer had to be. I feel so much better after talking with you all, it really is just me protecting the Duke, and the special thing we have going, and it is okay to protect it. You know, I do think she has her suspicions, and never thought about the fact that she might not be able to handle it... that puts things in a whole new perspective for me. Thank you, Willie. :)Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-1995707606147451552013-08-19T23:06:30.300-03:002013-08-19T23:06:30.300-03:00Jennelle, I think that's where I'll draw t...Jennelle, I think that's where I'll draw the line too, talk about submission, and stop. :) Everyone seems so glad to hear about my views on submission, so that seems safe for now. :) And you are so right, it is a secret to a happy marriage. {{{HUGS}}}Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-84204952107812397952013-08-19T23:05:11.032-03:002013-08-19T23:05:11.032-03:00Thank you, Roz, everyone has been so supportive, a...Thank you, Roz, everyone has been so supportive, as they always are. :) I probably can never say it enough how much I value you all. And thanks, I'm going to be more careful in what I read, so that my bottom and I can stay friends. ;)<br />{{{HUGS}}}Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-33127150970655385232013-08-19T15:35:50.229-03:002013-08-19T15:35:50.229-03:00Hi Es May, I hope you don't mind me commenting...Hi Es May, I hope you don't mind me commenting, I thi8nk you did right to lie, I don't lie either ever, but I think I would have in this case , . I am sorry but it really really is none of her business and you need to protect yourself here. I have read loads of books, I like Renee Rose, and she has a gentle free one out on blushing books at the moment. I like Patty Devlin too and Maren Smith, the list is endless. Like you I occasionally get one that strays too far for me, enough to turn you vanilla isn't it? lol<br />love Jan.xxan English Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00696976759167193635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-2318328425429605672013-08-19T10:22:58.290-03:002013-08-19T10:22:58.290-03:00Here is my take. To you you lied. I know that is ...Here is my take. To you you lied. I know that is difficult for you- but really what you DID do is give her the answer she wanted to hear. She worded the question in a way that she TOLD you what answer she wanted to hear from you. I'm not sure if that helps or not, but unfortunately that is all I have. <br /><br />I don't lie, but I take NO issue with lies of omission when it comes to protecting anything I love. My love of my family, my children and my husband is strong enough that I will do whatever it takes to protect us. I know yours is as well, so you must concentrate on that positive protective feeling, as opposed to the glimmer of negativity that you have to use to maintain it. I think of getting the kids vaccinated.. I hate the pain they experience but it is for their own good. Your friend doesn't want to know this about you. She may very well have her suspicions but she knows her limitations of understanding too. OR think of Santa! LOL. I lied for years to my kids if you will. But our lives were better for it! <br /><br />I guess what I am saying is, you have to find a way to categories this. Yes, you lied if you will, but think of it as 'not telling the truth' for her own good as well as yours. Think of the anguish she would have,and the unnecessary worry for you, because she doesn't understand. <br />love williewilliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01907855123777628267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-41914012095314899512013-08-19T10:14:39.083-03:002013-08-19T10:14:39.083-03:00I'm so sorry your friend was so judgmental, I ...I'm so sorry your friend was so judgmental, I would have backed off too, just to protect my husband. I've mentioned submission to some of my friends, but not DD. I'm sorry for feel like you have to lie, I just look at it a secret to a happy marriage. <br /><br />HUGSJennellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16417771951192212286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-19107344186069295182013-08-19T08:56:23.064-03:002013-08-19T08:56:23.064-03:00Hi Es May,
I too am sorry you were put in the pos...Hi Es May,<br /><br />I too am sorry you were put in the position of having to lie. You have some wonderful comments above and I agree with everyone else. It really is none of your friend's business and for what it's worth, I absolutely think you did the right thing under the circumstances. My heart sank too when I read her comment to you.<br /><br />None of our friends or family know about our dynamic, although I think they probably get that I defer to Rick. It is so hard not being able to share this with people you share almost everything else with. <br /><br />I'm sorry about the books and the spanking :(<br /><br />Sending you huge (((Hugs)))<br />RozRozhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14326826956049047973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-75267360687260575782013-08-19T08:08:16.419-03:002013-08-19T08:08:16.419-03:00OH, Thank you, Kim. I was just saying to Missy th...OH, Thank you, Kim. I was just saying to Missy that I totally agree. I would never describe what the Duke and I do for intimacy, and so it makes sense, that since this is just as personal, I would not share this either. Thank you for sharing this, it helps firm my resolve on it. :) {{{HUGS}}}Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-68418062572013979422013-08-19T08:06:10.897-03:002013-08-19T08:06:10.897-03:00Missy, sometimes you read my mind. :) I was actua...Missy, sometimes you read my mind. :) I was actually thinking along these lines a hour or two after I posted this. Being spanked over my husband's knee is about as intimate as when we're sharing each other. I don't share about that, and so it goes to show I wouldn't share about this. We never talk about our sex life because we were warned in premarital counselling that doing so can let other people into your marriage in a way you don't want, and take the intimacy out of it. So it goes to show this might be the same way. Thank you for helping me ground myself in that belief. {{{HUGS}}} LOL I wish I could read saucy without trouble, then I wouldn't have been over the Duke's lap for the hardest spanking I've ever gotten.Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-36380898647033120832013-08-19T08:02:55.037-03:002013-08-19T08:02:55.037-03:00Thank you, Callie, I really hope so too. Her ques...Thank you, Callie, I really hope so too. Her question floored me, and I was totally surprised by it. We had only talked about it once or twice last year, so it suprised me she remembered, guess it bothered her more than I thought.Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-90209602821554073012013-08-19T08:01:37.953-03:002013-08-19T08:01:37.953-03:00You know, Cat, I hadn't looked at it like that...You know, Cat, I hadn't looked at it like that. The point should be the results, now how we get to them. As long as we aren't hurting anyone else, then the point should be that we're so happy now. I have to admit, it's one of the very few times in almost 20 years, that I have felt judgement from her. Thank you. {{{HUGS}}}Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-73292136608999892302013-08-19T07:59:15.494-03:002013-08-19T07:59:15.494-03:00Betsy, you are right, and I would never trade the ...Betsy, you are right, and I would never trade the good we have now to not have to keep the secret. :) It would never be worth it.Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-8983305506604838342013-08-19T07:58:23.528-03:002013-08-19T07:58:23.528-03:00You are right, even though so much of my life, I s...You are right, even though so much of my life, I share, this isn't her business, and I guess that does make me a bit sad, because it makes me feel a bit distant from her, but it is just between the Duke and I. And thank you for the book ideas, can't wait to check them out. :) LOL Yeah, Maryanne, my butt was tough. lol Thankgoodness it's back to normal! lolEs Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-22515221096920555762013-08-19T07:56:34.780-03:002013-08-19T07:56:34.780-03:00Dana, it can be very hard to be on guard, can'...Dana, it can be very hard to be on guard, can't it. I think it's wonderful that you look to the Man, and wish more couples did, DD or not. And I am REALLY HOPING the spanking helps keep my mind in a good space. :) Thank you. :)Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-28048157423521936552013-08-19T07:15:34.440-03:002013-08-19T07:15:34.440-03:00Hi Essay,
I look at DD like sex. It's a very ...Hi Essay,<br />I look at DD like sex. It's a very intamite act between my H and I. My best friend knows we have sex but she doesn't know or needs to know the intimate details. Well DD is the same, she has noticed that Rog is in charge and that I do submit to his final decisions. But she doesn't know the intimate details, like spanking. <br />Hugs,<br />KimAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09349584751055182836noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-66635884366450417272013-08-19T04:31:49.543-03:002013-08-19T04:31:49.543-03:00Hmmmm this is a difficult one Esmay. Lying to a fr...Hmmmm this is a difficult one Esmay. Lying to a friend about something so personal that she shouldn't have been askin in the first place, make sense??? This I find is as personal as asking a friend if they let their man do oral sex or something along those lines. <br /><br />I don't tell my friends about our dynamic, people where I live would never understand and my close friends, well they would just put it down to a kink and forget about it. But it's still OUR thing, mine and Balu. What we do behind close doors, has nothing to do with anyone. People do notice something's, like his best friend comments on about how he wishes, his wife would listen to him, I like I listen to Balu, but we just don't comment on things. <br /><br />It's our secret, if you want to call it that, it's personal to just the two of us. Even in my blog, I don't tell the whole story of my life, I pick what I want to share, the same as many others do. You can still be yourself and believe in the thins that are important to you, without having to share every detail with others. <br /><br />I'm sorry about the books, I really don't have any recommendations on DD books, I have to admit, I don't read that many of them and the ones I have, are a little bit saucy lol I hope you find some good books :)<br /><br />Hugs xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-79599902642564660302013-08-19T04:29:58.914-03:002013-08-19T04:29:58.914-03:00My heart sank when I read about what your friend s...My heart sank when I read about what your friend said to you. I would be devastated. I hope one day you will be able to share with her and not be judged :(<br /><br />CallieCalliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08722173496181331492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-40354730714196090702013-08-19T00:12:09.482-03:002013-08-19T00:12:09.482-03:00Hey Es May...I am so sorry your friend put you in ...Hey Es May...I am so sorry your friend put you in that spot...I have to wonder about her. She sees that you are happier and commented on how glad she was about that but then turns around and basically accuses "But you don't let him paddle you right? I know last year you talked about Domestic Discipline, and I don't like it. So you don't let him punish you, right?" As if you can only be happy if you're living your life according to her beliefs. <br /><br />Sorry...it really bothers me when people who claim to be friends basically pass judgement if you are not living according to their 'standards' rather than agree to disagree.<br /><br />Sending you and the Duke lots of prayers and positive energy!<br /><br />Hugs and Blessings,<br />CatCathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14266606975978680188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-24230853924596811612013-08-19T00:11:30.555-03:002013-08-19T00:11:30.555-03:00It is so hard with friends you are used to sharing...It is so hard with friends you are used to sharing so much with. Most of my friends would NEVER understand and think I had lost my mind. It is a price most of us have to pay for the great rewards we are gaining from this lifestyle.<br /><br />Take care ;)<br />BetsyBetsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16797556126429403439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-2531754691456069892013-08-18T23:12:01.745-03:002013-08-18T23:12:01.745-03:00my best friend doesn't know anything about dd ...my best friend doesn't know anything about dd and i can never tell her. she would never understand. i mentioned it last year too, and the response was insane. "are you out of your mind?!" and i immediately got my back up and said, "ohhhh it's totally crazy! i was just looking at it!" and then made up a story and said i saw it online somewhere. what a mess. so i totally get you on this. the thing is, it's none of her business and you need to protect what's important to you. <br /><br />as for the books? i've read all of Patty Devlin's books and i think you'd love them. have you tried hers out? i'll look and see if i can find others because i've read tons and all the ones i've read have very little sex in them. :) i'll email you my list. :)<br /><br />hang in there. you're doing just fine. sorry about your bottom tho. that's tough. (haha)<br /><br />hugs sweetie,<br />m.maryannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14039657944100565917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-25721310044513955892013-08-18T21:54:30.805-03:002013-08-18T21:54:30.805-03:00Oh Es May, I understand about being so very caref...Oh Es May, I understand about being so very careful about what you say to whom. One of my friends put me in the position of having to explain that I had to ask for permission from the Man. It was tough. I also know what you are saying about things invading your mind. I am sorry you got a spanking, but maybe it will help you avoid things that will not be good for you both.Danahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13148756931282483079noreply@blogger.com