tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post7242925077145294862..comments2023-06-13T11:57:48.024-03:00Comments on Submitting To Be Led: Submission Vs Leading?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-42691595289625787592013-08-08T09:50:56.988-03:002013-08-08T09:50:56.988-03:00I am honoured whenever you drop by, even if you ca...I am honoured whenever you drop by, even if you can only scan. :) Yes, I do agree, I want to find ways to help keep my submissive mindset, even when the dance may become just one for a bit. I do admit I struggle, but I am working on it, with the faith that one day I'll do better at it. :)Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-60028982172973025442013-08-08T09:49:15.721-03:002013-08-08T09:49:15.721-03:00Thank you, Roz. :) I am glad you liked it. Yes, ...Thank you, Roz. :) I am glad you liked it. Yes, I have to remember to be submissive as much as he is remembering to lead. It's funny, the more I give in, the more beautiful this all feels. :) Oh, and the Duke saving me from the dark the other day... I am so thankful too. He really is becoming my knight in shining armor. :) <br /><br />{{{HUGS}}} Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-13902307556350158232013-08-08T08:57:17.390-03:002013-08-08T08:57:17.390-03:00I only had time to scan Es May but great post.
...I only had time to scan Es May but great post. <br /><br />I do think that in a perfect world, the dance does take two, but the times I learn the most in submission for me happen when I'm fighting it and while not in it alone, it's a struggle. Susiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00511114118020790717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-26163016584526662652013-08-08T08:52:44.406-03:002013-08-08T08:52:44.406-03:00Hi Es May,
Wow, this is a fantastic post! I love...Hi Es May,<br /><br />Wow, this is a fantastic post! I love the dance analogy. It is so hard to retain that submissive mindset when you feel you aren't being led. So true too, it's about supporting and encouraging each other in our roles. As much as it is difficult to to maintain submission without the dominance, the same is true for him as well.<br /><br />Hugs Es May, I'm glad the Duke is able to help stop you from going to those dark places. I hope the tenancy issues are resolved soon too. Such a stressful situation for you both to be dealing with.<br /><br />Hugs,<br />Roz Rozhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14326826956049047973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-84183903399659817992013-08-07T23:42:35.711-03:002013-08-07T23:42:35.711-03:00It's funny, because if we're being honest ...It's funny, because if we're being honest about real dancing, I suck at it if anyone else is around, but alone, I dance all over my house. LOL But in DD, I hope I'm starting to work on it well with the Duke. :) I'm sure you're not a bad partner at all. :)Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-2369333479810098512013-08-07T23:41:24.722-03:002013-08-07T23:41:24.722-03:00Hi saturn, I am glad you liked the implements. :) ...Hi saturn, I am glad you liked the implements. :) I had a lot of fun making them. :) Oh, hormonal mood swings are JUST brutal, aren't they? It's like we're this beautiful sweet person, and then they happen, and watch out, GODZILLA on the loose! lolEs Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-23895952276488869252013-08-07T23:40:01.827-03:002013-08-07T23:40:01.827-03:00That's just how I felt, dancing in circles, ni...That's just how I felt, dancing in circles, nice way to put it, Tasha. :) You know, I think we have the same issue. When I'm being really submissive, that is when he forgets to step up, might have to work on not being so submissive. ;) Yeah, I'd feel pretty bad if I tried. lolEs Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-16327180210058263112013-08-07T23:38:14.436-03:002013-08-07T23:38:14.436-03:00LOL First I need to learn to read minds, then I c...LOL First I need to learn to read minds, then I can steal them. ;) I'll let you know how I develop in this area, but just don't let the Duke know I'm practicing. ;)<br /><br />I guess that is true, that eventually we all notice a lot of the same things. Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-89202679037804806732013-08-07T18:56:18.901-03:002013-08-07T18:56:18.901-03:00Thank you for this post! This is so hard sometimes...Thank you for this post! This is so hard sometimes, and it requires equal effort on both sides, I'm pretty sure I'm an awful dance partner :)Jennellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16417771951192212286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-37280041880497941422013-08-07T14:27:05.796-03:002013-08-07T14:27:05.796-03:00Hi Thank you for sharing your journey. I'm s...Hi Thank you for sharing your journey. I'm sorry about the loss of your son. <br /><br />I also have a hard time being submissive when my bf isn't acting dominant. I know what you mean about those hormonal mood swings. There is no reasoning with me when I'm having one. hugs <br />btw: I like the implements at the top :)<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-34958477509715458342013-08-07T13:23:46.755-03:002013-08-07T13:23:46.755-03:00Ttwd is work, on both ends and it is made even har...Ttwd is work, on both ends and it is made even harder if you you don't feel you are being led instead you will end up "dancing" in circles at times. Communication is key! We personally run into issues when I am too submissive, my hubby backs off and doesn't feel the need to take the lead if I am doing good without him having to really show any authority. Just keep doing what you are doing but let him know how you feel :) Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-57810458629616485662013-08-07T10:00:41.687-03:002013-08-07T10:00:41.687-03:00Sigh...lol..I didn't mean it as a negative. I...Sigh...lol..I didn't mean it as a negative. I mean that you are at a point where we get to with ttwd ...we all do, where you realize it is a dance. How can you 'steal' a thought silly girl?williehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01907855123777628267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-88127648322861099782013-08-07T09:25:56.311-03:002013-08-07T09:25:56.311-03:00OH man, Willie, I didn't know that the dance a...OH man, Willie, I didn't know that the dance analogy had floated around... woops. I hope I didn't steal it from anyone in particular. That is so how I feel, like the General idea. If the Duke isn't leading, I have no direction, if I don't let him lead, he can't do anything. Such a great way to put it! :)<br /><br />And that quote is so true for me too, it's really helped me put things into perspective. :)Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-87720899038419334852013-08-07T09:24:28.804-03:002013-08-07T09:24:28.804-03:00No worries about processing, Tricia, it took me a ...No worries about processing, Tricia, it took me a month to wrap my head around this and make sense of it. :) Thank you for liking the dance analogy, once it hit me, I just couldn't seem to let it go.Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-22787830230672182422013-08-07T09:23:28.005-03:002013-08-07T09:23:28.005-03:00Oh Tara, I just want to hug you now. {{{HUGS}}} ...Oh Tara, I just want to hug you now. {{{HUGS}}} I know how dark that can be, how it just swallows you whole. I am so glad that your husband is doing what mine did, dragging, kicking and screaming to help you. {{{HUGS}}} I literally do not know what would have happened if not for the Duke. Lean on your hubby, he loves you. :) I am so glad you have him.Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-14059673509843862292013-08-07T09:21:40.842-03:002013-08-07T09:21:40.842-03:00Thank you, Tess. You are right, neither role is e...Thank you, Tess. You are right, neither role is easy, but each needs the other in a beautiful way. :) And I think the stressful situation will be fixed soon, LOL, or here's hoping! :)Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-18534813741990829702013-08-07T09:19:52.966-03:002013-08-07T09:19:52.966-03:00It is so true, Callie. I told the Duke that if he...It is so true, Callie. I told the Duke that if he didn't give me ideas of what he wanted and needed, I'd literally be trying fifty different things trying to figure out how to please him in life, and all of them could be things he cares not one iota about. It's easier for me to have the guidelines so that I don't wear myself out guessing. Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-31822098778667963242013-08-07T09:18:19.349-03:002013-08-07T09:18:19.349-03:00Brittany, what a sweet and beautiful way to show y...Brittany, what a sweet and beautiful way to show your submission to him. :) He must feel so honoured when you do that. :) It does take time sometimes for them to see how much we truly want to be submissive, but I think in time, they'll like the changes. :)Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-61491255500565139862013-08-07T09:02:03.605-03:002013-08-07T09:02:03.605-03:00Thank you, sunnygirl, that would be really nice if...Thank you, sunnygirl, that would be really nice if it did. :) But it really does help me process to write it all out.Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-204390659968312392013-08-06T16:27:34.987-03:002013-08-06T16:27:34.987-03:00EsMay, as a dancer on the floor alone more often t...EsMay, as a dancer on the floor alone more often than both Barney and I would like to admit, it is NOT easy to keep your submissive mindset when you feel like you are not being led.<br /><br />The dance analogy has been floating around as long as ttwd, but Callie has an excellent one as well- concerning being lost in the woods. I think of a General and his officers, without a leader, the officers will either stay or start to lead on their own. On the reverse side of the coin, without anyone who will follow, the General certainly cannot lead :)<br /><br />This is an excellent quote -> ""I do it because I want to help you. I want to help you be the person you are, and keep you from turning into someone you'd rather not be." At least for me, this is so true- AND this is what keeps Barney plugging forward.williehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01907855123777628267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-89290983905287541042013-08-06T15:29:16.133-03:002013-08-06T15:29:16.133-03:00Agree with everyone..... the dance analogy is perf...Agree with everyone..... the dance analogy is perfect! Very good thinking post Es May. <br /><br />I have more to say on this but I need to process my thoughts a bit ;) I'll message you.<br /><br />Hugs,<br />TriciaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-3008425430941134742013-08-06T11:44:33.612-03:002013-08-06T11:44:33.612-03:00The dance analogy is simply perfect, I will rememb...The dance analogy is simply perfect, I will remember that. We lost a child too,last year, and sometimes that darkness is consuming. If he didn't haul me out of it kicking and screaming, I think I would stay down there forever. ((((Hugs)))))violinwidowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09653092300943017358noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-18306017133320957432013-08-06T09:05:39.169-03:002013-08-06T09:05:39.169-03:00I love the dance analogy how you totally see the i...I love the dance analogy how you totally see the importance of your role in all of it...to trust him and follow and really support his efforts to lead, whatever they may be. Neither role is easy, but they both support and feed off of each other.<br /><br />p.s. I hope the stressful tenant situation is resolved soon so you can get your sunshine!! Tesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10536577215955884713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-92083190773699350362013-08-06T07:49:38.207-03:002013-08-06T07:49:38.207-03:00I love this post EsMay. It is sooo hard to submit ...I love this post EsMay. It is sooo hard to submit if you can't feel the lead on the other side. You can go where you think the journey is taking you, but you'll never know if it's the correct path or if you'll end up lost int he woods. You sound like you are doing a wonderful job of being supportive and submissive and thats all you really can do. <br /><br />HUGS,<br />CallieCalliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08722173496181331492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-12984246711076612372013-08-05T23:22:26.423-03:002013-08-05T23:22:26.423-03:00I've been thinking a lot about this too. I don...I've been thinking a lot about this too. I don't feel that my hubby has a consistency issue but sometimes I wonder about littles ways that I can just remind him of my submissiveness. I know it makes him feel very loved if when I need to talk to him about something I kneel down beside his feet in from of him. I'd love to think of other little gestures or maybe phrases that would make him feel like that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com