tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post3025453860177559043..comments2023-06-13T11:57:48.024-03:00Comments on Submitting To Be Led: Care To Join Me??? :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-58861793972407131862013-08-01T08:06:10.962-03:002013-08-01T08:06:10.962-03:00Hi Es May, this is a fantastic post and I am noddi...Hi Es May, this is a fantastic post and I am nodding my head reading your answers. I'm sure your words are going to be a great help to many. <br /><br />Sorry I am late to this post. These are great and important questions. 'm going to have to think about my answers and come back, or perhaps make a post of my answers if you don't mind. <br /><br />Hugs,<br />RozRozhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14326826956049047973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-11027240183597873332013-07-30T23:52:00.916-03:002013-07-30T23:52:00.916-03:00Hi E's May,
What great questions. I wish I w...Hi E's May,<br /><br />What great questions. I wish I would have read this before I started DD. I will have to think about my awnser and come back to comment. It's late and my brain is too tired to think that hard at the moment!<br />Hugs,<br />KimAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09349584751055182836noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-71650681731977372912013-07-30T23:38:07.906-03:002013-07-30T23:38:07.906-03:00I wish I could say that I hadn't fallen for th...I wish I could say that I hadn't fallen for the same trap, to compare the Duke to others, but that would be ONE BIG HUGE LIE. I compared, and compared, and then did some more comparing. It's amazing he didn't leave me. But I've learned to let go, and let him lead. Now it has a chance to work, but before it didn't. Thank you so much for sharing. :)Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-79135896135903826792013-07-30T23:35:52.290-03:002013-07-30T23:35:52.290-03:00That is a good one, and in knowing your partner we...That is a good one, and in knowing your partner well enough, you will also know how safe all this information will be in their hands. I really like how you put it, that not every spouse is capable for an honest communicative partnership. I truly do not believe DD is for everyone, and this is just one reason I believe this. Thank you so much for sharing. :)Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-54629050844884240802013-07-30T23:33:10.015-03:002013-07-30T23:33:10.015-03:00Dana, how true those words are, that communication...Dana, how true those words are, that communication is the most important DD tool there is. It is amazing how much you need to talk in DD, but it makes everything so much better... and yeah, there is something about being able to be more free with what we share when we're over the knee. ;) Motivation, wow, is that what you call it, heheheEs Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-3467733606326397532013-07-30T23:31:28.038-03:002013-07-30T23:31:28.038-03:00NO worries, I do realize it's not often we wri...NO worries, I do realize it's not often we write posts that ask work from people.:) I wasn't even sure about posting it, but it was what was on my heart, so I did. :)Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-36930526609148092292013-07-30T23:30:41.893-03:002013-07-30T23:30:41.893-03:00Thank you, sunnygirl. I hope it will help some pe...Thank you, sunnygirl. I hope it will help some people out there. :)Es Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15862166523815621955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-78417295853082117052013-07-30T12:14:27.341-03:002013-07-30T12:14:27.341-03:001. What was the biggest misconception/mistake you ...1. What was the biggest misconception/mistake you made going into DD?<br /><br />Answer: Possibly that, because it works that way for a lucky few, that everything would fall neatly into place overnight. The reality is that there is no 'timetable' or 'one true way' in which to incorporate DD into your life as a couple. Although they we ultimately strive for the same goal of loving connection, it is the personal history, physical and emotional characteristics and singular and collective experiences of the two individuals in the relationship that define their particular needs and the unique path they have to follow to achieve that connection.<br /><br />~~~~<br /><br />2. What do you wish you'd been told before approaching your spouse with DD?<br /><br />Answer: I didn't actually "approach" my spouse with the idea because me met on a DD forum.<br /><br />However, I wish I had been told that it's a bad idea to try to compare and measure the 'success' or 'failure' of my DD relationship against that of others. It took me a long time to realise that the only thing that matters it what is relevant to us as a couple and what works for works for *us* and that it actually works much better if we let nature take its course and cease to worry about trying to follow some kind of 'routine that has no relevancy to the real us.<br /><br />~~~~ <br /><br />3. What were the best things you noticed early on in DD?<br /><br />Answer: Mainly that we communicated better and were more aware of and in tune with each other's needs.<br /><br />~~~~<br /><br />4. If you could start DD over again, what would you change?<br /><br />Answer: I think I answered that in my responses to questions 1 and 2., but to recap, the most important thing is that it's not about what anyone else needs or does, but solely about us. While input and advice from others is often useful, it's a matter of sifting, choosing and adapting to suit *our* needs and not about doing what someone else thinks we 'should'.<br /><br />~~~~<br /><br />5. If you could give one piece of advice to someone starting out, what would it be?<br /><br />Answer: The same. That it's not about anyone else, their needs, their pace, or *their* right way to do things. It's defined and driven entirely by *your* unique needs as a couple.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04954063955315002207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-51781627776139493802013-07-30T09:23:43.995-03:002013-07-30T09:23:43.995-03:00Wow... You have me thinking so hard here and I sta...Wow... You have me thinking so hard here and I started rambling like I do. My thoughts need their own post all together... Will write that one later. <br /><br />I don't want to discourage anyone from DD because I think it's a beautiful thing when in the context of a good relationship. <br /><br />We're not DD and I doubt we ever will be. A little kinky, yes, but DD no. We have our roles, I guess you'd say, nothing else. <br /><br />My biggest misconception and the advice I wish I had many months ago.... You've got to be sure your marriage /relationship is strong, loving, and true before embarking on any discussion. Not every spouse has a desire or is capable of an honest communicative partnership. When one opens those floodgates unknowing that the other wanted them kept shut, it can create problems far beyond the ones you were trying to solve. <br /><br />So to sum it up, know your partner well enough to know what their emotional capabilities are ahead of time. Don't make assumptions. <br />ashebridgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08573787332690062041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-72362889276391107722013-07-30T08:03:00.730-03:002013-07-30T08:03:00.730-03:001. What was the biggest misconception/mistake you ...1. What was the biggest misconception/mistake you made going into DD?<br /> - I think the biggest mistake that I made was trying to be submissive, but controlling how I did it. It left The Man often confused and frustrated until I let go.<br /> 2. What do you wish you'd been told before approaching your spouse with DD?<br /> - I wish I had understood and had known where to look to find information. I wish that I had known that my needs were and are very normal and I wasn't some kind of strange freak that should be ashamed.<br /> 3. What were the best things you noticed early on in DD?<br /> - The first thing I noticed was that the stability this life provided for me allowed me to relax. It allowed me the ability to self govern but know that if I couldn't or needed help then The Man was there to assist me.<br /> 4. If you could start DD over again, what would you change?<br /> - I would give The Man complete control. It is a process and one we needed to go through, especially as I have PTSD, but things settled so quickly when I stopped fighting myself and The Man.<br /> 5. If you could give one piece of advice to someone starting out, what would it be?<br /> -Don't be afraid or ashamed of your needs. communication is the absolute most important Dd tool there is. Not the paddle, not spanking, not corner time, lines or any other form of punishment. Talking with your mate, opening your heart and opening your mouth is the most powerful tool. I will admit, I am sometimes best able to do that while my bottom is up and my head down and The Man is "motivating me.."Danahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13148756931282483079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-10070308145914256702013-07-30T03:02:59.345-03:002013-07-30T03:02:59.345-03:00Oh Esmay, this is a great post, I'll have to t...Oh Esmay, this is a great post, I'll have to think about it though before I can answer :)<br />Hugs xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5879991995070741632.post-78479378091578552692013-07-30T00:38:21.577-03:002013-07-30T00:38:21.577-03:00We're not DD but this is a great post and I am...We're not DD but this is a great post and I am sure it will be very helpful to other DD couples, both old and new. Other perspectives always open up new avenues.Aimless Ramblinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00720714875762344391noreply@blogger.com