UNDER CONSTRUCTION

We had to take down all our posts for a while. We did not realize that to put them back up would repost them in everyone's feeds. We apologize for that. We also will do our best, as life allows, to get the rest of the posts up as soon as possible. :)

Sincerely, The Duke and EsMay

Monday, February 06, 2017

Terrified :(

Today my submission is being tested to a completely new level.  Today I do not want to do something with my whole heart. 

I think I mentioned it a bit ago about a sister that believes I have lied to her, and now has brought up more and more things she thinks I've lied about in the past.  It has been one horrible phone call after another.  Thankfully, the Duke says he no longer wants me to talk to her... AFTER he wants me to visit with her tonight because she's in town.  He is going with me... and my parents are supposed to be there... but I'm still TERRIFIED.  She says everything she's accused me of has been in love to help me bring the truth to light.  But I have told the truth, everyone in my family believes I've told the truth except for her.  She even went so far as to get her family to call and sing happy birthday to my daughter, and then ask to speak to me alone just to accuse me again.  It ruined the day for me, and I spent an hour in tears.  I don't want to talk to her anymore.  I don't want to see her. I have done all I can to keep the peace and still she attacks.

But, I'm going.  The Duke wants me to.  He feels we should show the more mature side in this.  I literally feel like I'm going to throw up.  Thankfully the Duke has also said if she tries even for a second to bring up all this garbage, or accuse me of anything, he will tell her we will not be discussing it, and that it is time for us to leave.  Part of me hopes she says nothing, part of me hopes she says something in the first two minutes so we can turn right back around and leave.

This is NOT going to be a fun night for me. :(  I really, really, REALLY would rather not go. :(  I have a broken toe... that didn't work as an excuse. :P  *SIGH*

Maybe afterwards I'll ask for a spanking to get rid of the stress.  We haven't done one lately, with parents now living with us, we get little time alone... but it might be a night to do it.

13 comments:

  1. EsMay hang in there. Maybe this will be the night you get closure, you get to be the mature bigger person, you get to show submission under very difficult circumstances. The Duke has your back...let him lead. He loves you very much.
    Mignon

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    1. Thank you, Mignon. He does, and I am so blessed. :)

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  2. Your Duke will help you through this, and I am sending up a prayer for peace for you. Think of getting a good school 'reward' when you get home. Good to hear from you, hard to believe you were celebrating a 1 year bady party. hugs abby

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    1. A good reward. hehehe We've never really done those, maybe it's time I ask. :P :)

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  3. Hang in there, sweet EsMay and trust that your Duke has got this and you. Sending prayers and positive energy for you. Happy to hear from you.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    1. Thank you, and sorry I was away so long. It is so good to be able to trust that he has me.

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  4. Sending positive thoughts your way Es May, the Duke has your back. I hope this night does result in closure for you.

    Great to see you post, hope to hear more from you :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. I do need to get on here more. :) I promise to work at it. :)

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  5. EsMay,
    I am sorry you are so stressed about this visit with your sister. Will other people be there? Hopefully she has the good sense to not bring up anything that is would cause any stress or discomfort for anyone. Have you ever maybe thought she has some "truths" that she has never talked about or admitted and maybe your "truths" bring hers to the surface & she would rather not admit to them? I don't know just thinking out loud. If your sister does make you uncomfortable, I would plainly say this is not the time or the place, and let Duke handle it from there. I hope for you a great peaceful evening sweetie.
    honey

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    1. I think her truths is a big thing. Not in that she's hiding things, but that I've been catching her in several lies while she's trying to attack me for lies. It's a bit unsettling to see. I worry for her. Thankfully we ended up not being able to go, and I felt great peace at that.

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    2. I am glad that made you feel better, Have a great week!!!

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  6. EsMay.... Take a deep breath, you have this. The Duke has your back and will not let things escalate out of control. Taking the high road is the way to go at this point and then let things lie where they end and do as Duke advises in the future. It must be very hard to follow TTWD with parents in your home especially at a time when you need it the most. Talk with Duke and see how he feels he can best help you through these difficult times. Together you both will get through this challenge. Hugs to you and great to hear from you.

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    1. Thank you. It does make it harder to have parents in the house, but we have learned that even though our bedrooms are next to each other, there are 3 foot closets between us, and that helps hide some noises. :)

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Please feel free to leave any comments, but I do ask you to be kind. We go into this with eyes wide open after months of prayer, and a peace in our hearts that this is the right choice before God for our marriage. I am open to questions from those who wonder why we made this choice, but I would ask for no personal attacks. Thank you. :)

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