We had to end up waiting until this past Monday night, but we finally got that first spanking out of the way.
I should have remembered that what I think and what the Duke thinks can be two totally different things, even if we're speaking the EXACT same words. I thought we'd be going into an easy spanking, just to get us back into the swing of things. The Duke thought it was an easy spanking, but also wanted force behind it so that I'd take our new start seriously. I was surprised that I was trying to climb off his lap within the first five seconds. I can hold my position, we worked hard at that. But that night, I couldn't have been paid enough money to do so. I tried, I told myself to behave, to handle it, but I couldn't.
And so you can probably guess that it wasn't long before the tears were coming. I don't think I got the full emotional release I probably needed, but it was a good start. Afterwards I wanted to get up and walk away. But I forced myself to stay and to crawl into the Duke's lap. It felt odd being there, and showed me just how much things have changed for us over this past year.
I am so looking forward to getting back together as we were, even with our household being different now. I look forward to more conversations. To the Duke learning to lead again. To me learning to let go again. To us learning to work together more as a team, something that seemed to fall apart when the accident happened.
I have so many hopes, and am so excited. Through it all though, I'm trying to keep my expectations realistic. I love this man so much, and am glad it's him I get to go on this journey with as we get back into DD. :)
The Duke's Deductions:
Yes it was our first spanking in a long time, and this is my first time blogging in a long time. I imagine it is going to take a while to get the cobwebs out and get used to again. Again, I thought I was doing a light spanking, but EsMay started jumping at the warm up lol. I hadn't even moved on to the paddle yet. I got her to settle down and cooperate again. It was good being able to spank her again and feel that feeling of being the one in control. We went to the paddle after the warm up and I thought I was being pretty light with that. It felt good in my hands and good to have my wife submit to the the spanking. I know she found it too hard so it seems we have a few things to figure out in terms of spanking force and quantity I suppose but that is ok, this lifestyle is partly about figuring things out together. Life has been stressful this year so I am hoping this will take away some of the stress. We also went away from home together for a few days this past week so I am hoping this closeness and bonding time will help with the spankings. Anyway, have a good evening.