Friday, October 18, 2013

Stressful Visitor & 2 Free DD Books

I feel all stressed inside... and not sure how to fix it.

We've had a house guest the last few nights, and I don't know if he's leaving today, or in a few days, and that has me stressed.  He is our landlord, and a friend of the Duke's.  He's visiting to check up on the place, and I am all stressed.

One of the reasons, we are the supers here, is that one of the tenants is always complaining, I mean all the time, I'm afraid to answer my phone or leave the house because they'll trap us, and I'm afraid to answer the door because it's always them.  They drive me bonkers, and I just know they'll expect us to fix things that he said no to when he leaves.

Second of all is our landlord himself.  He really does put us in a tight spot with the tenants.  Also, he hates me.  When the Duke is not around, if I say hi, he won't even look at me and walk on by, or just ignore me.  My best friend knew I wouldn't lie, but witnessed it this past summer when he didn't realize she was coming out behind me.  She waited for him to answer, and when he didn't, came out and said hi to him too.  He all the sudden said hi to both of us.  I have always felt judged by him.  He will often invite the Duke to hang out with him and his wife, but not me.  He's invited the Duke on trips, and not me.  I don't know what I've done, and I try to be nice to him, but it never works.  So having him here is stressing me out.  I spent most of last night in my room reading on my kindle.

I want the Duke to hang out with him because they're friends, and I want him to hang out with him so that I don't have to.  But on the same note, I miss the Duke.  I'm still recovering from all that went on last week, still feeling vulnerable, and wishing I had the Duke's strength with me.  Tonight we have to visit with a widow friend of mine, and it will make it a bit easier if our guest does indeed try to stay another night.

One thing I have noticed different about his visit this time around, is that I'm not holding the Duke up to my standards.  I used to wonder why the Duke never talked about me in front of this guy, why he never tried to say good things about me, why if I was so important to him, why my name never comes up when he's talking to his friends.  It used to drive me bonkers and make me feel unimportant.  Now, if he did so now, it would be nice, but I don't need it.  The Duke loves me, he shows me this is in so many ways now that I have no doubt, and if his friends never see me as good, that is okay.  I have a lot of friends that love me, and I have to be okay with being myself, and not living to please his friends, who I can't seem to please anyway.

So anyway, not really sure about what this post is about, just needed to get my thoughts out so that I can deal with this guy a bit longer.  I hope you all have a good weekend. :)  I will be trying to catch up on blogs at that point.  I haven't been commenting much this week, in my attempt to catch up, but hoping to be commenting on your blogs again this weekend. :)

PS  Two free DD books out today on Amazon. :)  Not sure if they are erotica or not.

Holding Hannah (Masters of The Castle) - Maren Smith

The Submissive School Girl - Jane Pearl

22 comments:

  1. Hey honey :) it's been such a long time I commented here and I'm so sorry.

    I'm also very sorry your landlord is giving you such a hard time. He sounds like an ass, oops sorry but he has no right to treat you this way. I'd be tempted to put him on the spot and ask him what his problem is, but then again that might just cause you more stress. Maybe he's just a really bad landlord and doesn't want to deal with the people and knows you're the one dealing with the issues and he needs to deal with them. Don't let people get you down, especially ignorant ones like him. I hope for your sake he leaves to ought and you can get some peace :)

    Thanks for the books, will have to check them out, but I've had my kindle took off me for a few days :(

    Hugs x

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    1. I am sorry that I too have been absent from blogland. And thank you, he is gone now, and tried my best to not let him get me down. :) I am sorry you lost your kindle, but hopefully you were able to get the books all the same. :) {{{HUGS}}}

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  2. It would drive me bonkers if I had to deal with a friend of H's who treat me like that too. I'm happy for you that you're able to move on about it though ;)

    Callie

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    1. Thank you, Callie, I won't say it was always easy, but it's better to be in this place.

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  3. Have you talked to the Duke about said landlord? It would really bug me if someone treated my wife the way your landlord seems to treat you. It's true it's a delicate situation because of his friendship of the Duke and that's he's your landlord, but that doesn't mean you can't try to get some resolution of this.

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    1. Hey foothills, I have talked to him about it, but this was mostly before DD. The Duke is pretty passive, so it didn't really bother him before, but he's starting to be more protective of me, so we'll see. :)

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  4. Does the Duke know how his friend treats you? I know that Michael would want to know if a friend of his treated me poorly. Hang in there Es May! (((hugs)))

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    1. Hey Grace, he does know... now that we're practicing DD, we'll have to see how this all plays out. I don't want them to fight, but I also want to stop being treated this way as well. As it was, the Duke did not want to hang out with him this time, so that helped.

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  5. Boooo! I'm pretty sure anyone would be stressed if they had to deal with a person like that. Don't let him get to you, sometimes it's just not worth it.

    Hugs

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    1. You're right, Jennelle, sometimes it's just not worth it. {{{HUGS}}}

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  6. Yuck. I'm wondering what the others are too. Does the Duke know?
    Hope he leaves tonight. Hugs!

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    1. Thanks Elle, he didn't leave that night, but he's gone new, and I am thankful for that. {{{HUGS}}}

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  7. Have you thought about asking him what it is he doesn't like about you.? Putting him on the spot may make him realize how rude he is acting.

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    1. You know, Sunny Girl, I actually know why he doens't like me, but I'm not willing to change it. He runs over people, manipulates them, and pushes them into corners to get his way. I won't let him do that with me. If I don't have the time or energy to do something for him, I won't, I also won't allow him to force me to agree with his opinions if I feel they are really wrong, and so on. Most people give in to pacify him, but I think he needs a few people that say no. Apparently... I'm the only one so far...

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  8. ugh, I hate rude people. My h has a friend that is pretty course and it drives me crazy. I can't imagine if he ignored me or was flat out rude. Being difficult is hard enough! ;)

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    1. Cole, it can be very difficult. I say hi every single time I see him, no matter how many times I am snubbed. One day I'll wear him down. :)

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  9. Awe Es May, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I think everybody else above has echoed my thoughts and I agree with them all.

    Hang in there! I hope he's not staying with you too much longer.

    ((Hugs))
    Roz

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    1. Thanks, Roz. And he's gone now, whew. :) {{{HUGS}}}

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  10. EsMay we have a friend who actually is a great guy, but he would often say the meanest things to me when Barney wasn't around. Barney would often say after, "Oh that is just Gazoo being Gazoo. You know him. Ignore him". More hurtful were Barney's words than Gazoo's. Last year after starting ttwd, I finally 'blew up' at Barney, tears and all and told him how it made me feel. That his not saying anything when Gazoo was around, was making me feel awful. Slowly Barney began to shut down Gazoo when he started even with the double-edged playful comments. Gazoo doesn't say those things anymore.
    My point is, he may be your landlord but your apartment is your home! You shouldn't be in the bedroom, because you are too uncomfortable to be out in your own home. You also shouldn't have the mindset that it is okay for you to hide out because this man is Duke's friend. If Duke can't see why you are hiding out you need to tell him. If he knows and hasn't said anything to his friend, you should talk about how that honestly makes you feel. Don't 'feel' the way you THINK you should. That is just putting a brick in a wall that will need to come down later, trust me. You have to be honest with yourself and then Duke. You are his wife, and that is the most important thing. Often men don't realize why we act the way we do. Let him know.

    ( bossy caring friend lecture over)
    hugs
    willie

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    1. This actually used to be a big fight for the Duke and I as well. I would get very frustrated and ask why I wasn't important enough for him to defend. Now though, he's putting some ideas into his head to be ready on how to handle common problems that arise from this guy, like him inviting the Duke out with he and his wife and not me, so it is good to know he is doing this for me, now to see how it plays out. :) And thank you for the friendly lecture. :) I sometimes need those.

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  11. Sorry I'm late on commenting. I agree with everyone else. Just remember, you are Dukes wife and you are more important to the Duke then this friend, if you can even call him that. If he is a true friend of the Dukes, then he would treat you better. Be honest and communicate with the Duke. Use "I" statements to let him know how this makes you feel.
    Hugs,
    Kim

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    1. Kim, no worries, I am far behind too. This has sadly been a long time conversation, but I do see how the Duke is changing, and so this situation should be changing soon as well. :) And you are right, there is a friend of the Duke's whose wife hates me, to this day we have not been able to find out why, but I still treat her with respect because I love the Duke, and his friend, and to be a friend to his friend means treating his wife with respect.

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