UNDER CONSTRUCTION

We had to take down all our posts for a while. We did not realize that to put them back up would repost them in everyone's feeds. We apologize for that. We also will do our best, as life allows, to get the rest of the posts up as soon as possible. :)

Sincerely, The Duke and EsMay

Sunday, September 22, 2013

A Lie Fixed


I have been so behind in blogs that I thought news I have would be one of a kind news, but after catching up today, I realize I am not the only one celebrating this today. :)

Last night I told my best friend about DD. :) If you remember, a month or so ago, she'd flat out asked me if my husband paddled me, and I lied because I could hear the panic and disgust in her voice. But last night we were hanging out for hours, and I finally had to break down and tell her. I hate that I told a lie, and I had to set it right.

After talking for about ten to fifteen minutes, she understood a lot more. It's not for her, but she does see how happy we are. She did joke though that she will now have to tell me the occasional paddle joke just to tease me. :) I double checked with her when I left that she was okay, and when I got home and called her to let her know I got home safe, I rechecked again, and she said she was totally fine.

So now my two best friends know. My other friend gets it a lot more the one that is now moved and I never ge to see, but at least I have been honest with this friend now and the lie is gone between us. I feel really good about that. And I'm glad that she sees how happy I am, and she even sees how much more sure of himself the Duke is.

I'm glad I don't have to be so censored now in my comments, I think it will really help my stress levels when I'm with her because before this we didn't keep secrets.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. :)

36 comments:

  1. I'm new to your blog. I love this post. I'm hoping that someday I can confide in one of my IRL friends. I'm not that brave yet!

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    1. Tomsrose, to be honest, I didn't think I'd ever be that brave either, but at one point, I just NEEDED to tell someone. lol. and welcome to my blog. :) I am so glad you came by to visit. :)

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  2. That was very brave of you! :) I'm glad that she didn't judge you and also happy for you that you don't have to lie to her anymore. I think that hiding this lifestyle is one of the hardest parts of it because of the guilt of lying to everyone. Good for you though, that is awesome :) xoxo - Stubborn

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    1. Oh, I'm so glad she didn't judge either. She means so much to me, and I hated so much that I had lied. Thank you, Stubborn. :)

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  3. Ours was good we actually got some rain. Glad for you my friend.

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    1. Hey Angel Blue, glad that you got some rain, we did too, and we needed it. :)

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  4. Good for you! It's hard to tell others. I have several very close friends who know and some I will die before I tell! Some think it's more along the lines of just sexy spanking, but two very close friends know I am spanked for discipline as well. ln fact, one is now also in a DD relationship of her own. She once mentioned it and said it sounded awful. I told her "well, it works for some people..." We talked and talked, and now she and her husband have decided it works for them as well.

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    1. Oh, I think more and more of my friends are getting a lot of our dynamic too. They know now that I'm submissive, and that I look to the Duke a lot more now. But yes, only these two know about the spankings. I'm not quite sure if they've fully understand the punishment part, but they do know it's for stress relief, and to help bring me back under control and such. I would LOVE to have a friend in rela life that practiced, that must be so cool! :)

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  5. Great work Es May! It does feel a whole lot better when someone IRL knows. I totally agree with the statement about not being so censored in your comments.

    Callie

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    1. Callie, oh, it is totally so freeing. :) Does that mean someone in your life knows as well? :)

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  6. Hi Es May,

    I'm so happy for you! I wish I had RL friends I could share with. It must feel so freeing to not have to censor yourself.

    Good on you! It must have taken a lot of courage to tell her, especially given her initial reaction. I so glad she reacted well and that she can see how happy you and the Duke are.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. You know, Roz, months ago if you'd asked if I could tell anyone IRL, I would have said flat out, NO. But the one friend I already told seemed just the right person to admit it too. Now my best friend, it will still remain to be seen, but I had to fix the lie. It was really bothering me. I believe it will work out alright, and really hope it will. :) {{{HUGS}}}

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  7. You must feel so much better, I know you hated that lie between you two. I wish I had someone to tell IRL. Actually it would be nice to have a best friend who is also in a DD relationship.
    Kim

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    1. Oh Kim, if I could find a best friend that lived DD, I would be over the moon, even just a really good friend as I can't see replacing the best friend I have, ever. :) But alas, I know no one right now that does. :) But I won't give up hope. I hope that in time you can find someone IRL to tell as well. {{{HUGS}}}

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  8. Good for you! I'm sure you feel relieved to have that off your chest. I'm glad she reacted positively to you, but I would like to believe that most true friends would :)

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    1. Oh Jennelle, I am so relieved too. :) I would like to believe that all true friends would react the same, but this lifestyle can be so easily misinterpreted that it is hard for many people to see the beauty in it. So I hope and pray that if more people find out about us, they'll see it with open eyes, eyes that see how happy we are, and how much stronger we are for it.

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  9. Wow!! I can't believe two of Blogland told their best friends this weekend :)
    Good for you. I don't think I cold share, but idk. :)

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    1. Oh Elle, I know, I laughed so hard when I saw her post! :) Who would have guessed in our small little world. :) You know... if you ever feel you should share with someone in particular, I'd say just take the time to think about it, how open minded they are or not, and how trustworthy they are or not to keep a secret. I hope if you ever feel you need to share, that you are able to, and never beat yourself up if you can't. Sometimes the people just aren't there that we could share with. {{{HUGS}}}

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  10. Es May, you did good! I am very proud of you because it takes a lot of courage to do what you did! You two will most likely grow to be even closer friends since a secret shared with another strengthens your bond!

    Es may, I just want to add that I think your friend is lucky to have you as her friend, because you are someone really special!

    Blessings,
    George

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    1. Oh George, thank you... makes me feel like my own dad is saying he is proud of me. :) Hope that is okay to say. :) And you made me blush... thank you for thinking so highly of me to say I'm that special.. that means a lot, especially because I can have a very hard time seeing myself that way. Blessings to you too, friend. :)

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  11. Wow! I am so happy for you! I can imagine how awesome that is. Hopefully one day I will be able to share DD with one of my close friends but for now it is good to know that several other bloggers shared ttwd with their friends successfully. It gives me hope. :)

    Really happy for you,
    hugs,
    mischief

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    1. Mischief, I never thought of it that way, but it's true. The more success stories we have of people sharing about DD, the easier it will hopefully be for others. :) And you know, my hope is that one day it will be seen the world over as a viable way to run a marriage in a way that is looked up to. :) A person can dream anyway. :) {{{HUGS}}}

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  12. I don't think I could ever tell any of my friends IRL. I don't think anybody would understand.

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    1. OH Sweetie, I love you. And even though there is no one we know right now amoung your friends that you can share with, I am so blessed that you let me share with two of mine. {{{HUGS}}} I love you.

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  13. I'm not sure my friends would understand, but it must be nice to have that. I'm glad things worked out so well for you. :)

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    1. Well I can't say that they totally understand, and I can tell that one is still really weary of it, but she sees how happy I am, and that makes her happy. So I am glad for that. I hope that if there is ever a friend you have that would understand, that you will get the chance to share. :) {{{HUGS}}}

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  14. So happy for you Es May. I too think it is funny we both came out about DD to our friends this weekend!! It was an amazing relief. Hopefully our stories will inspire those with hopes of one day telling IRL friends :)

    Hugs,
    Tricia

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    1. Tricia, yes, funny. :) It would be good to see the world being more open, but I have to admit, I also see how scary it was, and it all depends on if people around us are trustworthy to hear as well. I know I read on one blog last year that someone's church found out and was making them feel really judged, and I wouldn't wish that for anyone in our community, so I'm glad people wait until they know if they can share or not. :) But I hope most will have that blessing someday of being able to share. :)

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  15. My friends would so not understand Es May but I am so glad that yours did. How neat to have others that you can talk about this with...even just a little bit.

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    1. I am sorry that your friends would not understand, but I am glad that we still get to share this life with you. :) I still don't know if I'll talk about it really with my best friend that I just told, but I do know that my friend that has now moved, when we talk on the phone, it comes up from time to time, and I really like that.

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  16. I think to tell a friend, to trust a friend enough to tell them, is either brave or stupid. And I'm not so sure that you can always tell which one it will turn out to be at the outset. I'm glad that it turned out well for you Es May. I'm sure it feels good not to have that lie and secret between you anymore.

    I have one friend who knows. She only partially understands. You see, she enjoys erotic spanking and some sexy D/s, but that's the extent of it. She doesn't really understand the DD dynamic, but she also doesn't judge me because of it. As such, it's not something I hide from her, but it's also not something we really talk about.

    Although I have one friend who read 50 Shades of Gray and loved it. She was trying to get me to read it and that has led to some discussion. She now knows that M and I aren't "vanilla", but she doesn't really know any details and I can't imagine sharing about DD with her. And I can't imagine sharing with any of my other friends either. I honestly don't think they'd understand.

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    1. Grace, I totally understand. I honestly never thought I'd share with my best friend, but the lie was eating at me. The other friend that knows though, I knew after a lot of prayer I could share with her. My other friends though, no way. I love them, but they would hate the Duke and judge him very harshly, and I would never want that. :(

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  17. Aw, that's awesome news! I'm so happy for ya, she sounds like a good friend! :)

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    1. Thank you, Kenzie. :) She is a great friend, and has seen me through one horrible thing after another. I really hope that this doesn't change our relationship. :) Or if it does, only for the better.

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  18. I'm really happy for you EsMay ~

    I hate lies between friends too; but this is really a really hard thing to trust someone with, especially when they seem so 'anti' in the beginning. I'm glad that you got to clear the air and talk about it some more so that she has a better understanding of what your life is really like. And I love that she can see the evidence of the happy couple for herself. :)

    hugs,
    Cali

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    1. Oh Cali, it was SOOO hard to trust this friend. I mean, I really trust her, I trust her with my life, but she seemed so against DD at first, that it was hard to trust that she would realize this is what we truly wanted and what is truly working for us. But I am glad that she does see how happy I am in this. :) {{{HUGS}}}

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Please feel free to leave any comments, but I do ask you to be kind. We go into this with eyes wide open after months of prayer, and a peace in our hearts that this is the right choice before God for our marriage. I am open to questions from those who wonder why we made this choice, but I would ask for no personal attacks. Thank you. :)

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