UNDER CONSTRUCTION

We had to take down all our posts for a while. We did not realize that to put them back up would repost them in everyone's feeds. We apologize for that. We also will do our best, as life allows, to get the rest of the posts up as soon as possible. :)

Sincerely, The Duke and EsMay

Saturday, July 06, 2013

Tears

I haven't been able to stop crying whenever I have prayed for Bas and family the past few days, nor when praying for Emily, Christina, Jim and family.  Since we lost our son in 2011, I find I am much quicker to tears.  Getting my cycle today put some of the pieces together on why I keep breaking down so hard, but still, I have worried this week that I cry too easily.

But when I think about it, I'm actually glad.  Tears for someone we love when they face hard times, or we are losing them, mean we care.  They mean we love deep and hard.  Now, not everyone can cry, and that is okay, that DOES NOT mean you loved them any less.  I didn't used to cry a lot before we lost our son.  But now I can at the drop of a hat.  For those of you out there like me, please don't ever feel ashamed of your tears.  They can come when we don't want, but they are a blessing.  A release.  I have a friend, who even after her husband died, could not cry a single tear.  It bothered her so much.  She had loved him with everything in her, and couldn't shed a tear.  And with that, she also couldn't find release and felt trapped inside herself.

We all loved Bas.  He was such a father figure here in DD Blogland to so many of us.  He challenged us, encouraged us, listened to us whine and freak out.  He made us laugh, he made us cry, and he gave us so much love that we couldn't help but pass it on.  And even though most of us don't know Lisa personally, we know her through all of the love Bas showed for her in every word he spoke about their marriage, and because of this, we too have come to love her.  Our tears are as much for the loss of Bas our friend as they are for her loss in the love of her life.

Tonight, if the tears come, even for people we have never met, may it remind us that we can still love deep, and hard, and that there is always beauty in that. We care for these people, and their lives are enriched because of it.  We are small blessings, sending words or encouragement and prayers when needed most. 

{{{HUGS}}}  Praying for the families out there that are still fighting for health tonight, and for those that are one person shy of the family they were a few days ago.  {{{HUGS}}}  We here in blogland send you our love, our thoughts, and our prayers.

28 comments:

  1. Esmay, There are no words to tell you how beautiful your words are. They squeezed yet more tears from my eyes, and have somehow brought a peace to my heart.
    Tonight, if the tears come, even for people we have never met, may it remind us that we can still love deep, and hard, and that there is always beauty in that. Simply exquisite, very poignant...thank you, my friend.

    (((hugs)))

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    1. I had no idea my words would touch people like that. Thank you so much for sharing, June. It means a lot to me.

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  2. This is a beautiful post, Es May. I'm one of those people who, in most cases, have a difficult time crying, but when I do I cry a river. The Bible tells us that God keeps our tears in a bottle. That's how precious he knows they are. My Earthly father chastized his children for crying, and my Heavenly Father believes them so precious he keeps them. I join you in prayer to our Heavenly Father. God bless you and yours, Belle L.

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    1. I love that verse, that God loves me so much He captures all my tears. Though there was a time that did bother me. But it is beautiful to cry. I am sorry it can be hard for you, but am glad that when you can let go, you do big time. :) {{{HUGS}}}

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  3. I cry happy tears at the drop of a hat. The boys tease me constantly. But when things are so very hard to bear, not a drop. After my Dad passed away, like your friend, I didn't cry for 6 months. Then I had a melt down. Shutting down was my go to reaction. Ttwd for the most part has stopped all of that. On bended knee, while praying for a little girl I have never met, my voiced cracked and my tears flowed. This morning reading Bas' last post to Barney, I couldn't finish. He too was in tears by the end.

    Bas wrote a fantastic post many months ago about not knowing other's real names or addresses, doesn't mean anything. We know more about each other, our inner workings than many of our own family members and face to face friends. Names, and addresses is trivial information. WHO you are is not dictated by that. Blog land is a fantastic example of loving or caring about others because of their heart.

    Yours my friend is huge!
    love,
    willie

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    1. Oh, I remember that post. When I wrote him back, he touched my heart by saying he already felt close to me because he'd read the tag I'd had up at the time about losing our son. It really touched my heart, and I think that's when my heart started loving Bas. It was a beautiful post, wasn't it? And his words were so very true.

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  4. Thankyou for writing this today EsMay. It's nice to know the tears and worry are just from care and that I'm not alone :)

    HUGS
    xoxoxoxox
    Callie

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    1. Oh Callie, You are SO NOT alone! {{{{HUGS}}}} It is because we care, because you care so much. :)

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  5. this was so sweet, esmay, and i'm like you, i can cry easily--always have. i have a very tender heart. last night, it was very late, and tears were streaming down my face, my fella was lying next to me, worried. "are you okay?" and he just had his hand on my body, and then holding my hand. i think he was worried because it was the first time i'd shown true emotion over someone i "do not know" and he realized how much this community means to me.

    it means so, so much, and i am so thankful i was able to know someone as kind and tender as bas. i'm so glad to know each of you.

    m.

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    1. I am so glad that your husband gets to see how important this world is to you, and how important the people are. It's amazing how much we all connect. In many ways, even without names and faces, we connect with people on deeper levels on certain things than we do in real life, and there in develop bonds that never break. :) Bas was indeed so kind and tender. :)

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  6. Oh Esmay :)

    What a beautiful post. You are such a loving and caring person, you always know the right words at the right time. I can learn a lot from you :)

    I cry, I cry a lot, I cry at commercials which makes my kids laugh, I cry at sad songs and I cried for our friend Bas. I cried because I'm happy he has found peace now, I cry because we lost our papa bear of Blogland. I cried for Lisa, having lost her love, and for his son, having lost a dad and for baby pixy for not having had a chance to get to know his wonderful grandad.

    Now I'm crying writing this.

    Hugs honey x

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    1. Missy, I don't know what to say... I find I feel so awkward so often when writing, worrying on how to say what I feel and think. I stress that what I say will come out wrong, will hurt someone. I can't imagine my words having an impact like you say... but I'm so glad you have been touched nonetheless.

      I love that, papa bear. I've considered him a father type here for a while now, but Papa Bear fits so perfectly! {{{HUGS}}}

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  7. Oh Es May, thank you so much for your beautiful words. Bless you and bless your heart.

    I too have cried a lot these last few days and reading this made me shed more. I cry easily too and admit, it does bother me sometimes. Thank you for reminding me that they are tears of release and that we love deeply.

    So wonderful to hear that Emily is now out of ICU. Continuing to send positive thoughts, prayers and bear hugs to her and Jim and Christina as well as to Ana, her tiny cousin and family.

    I'll say it again Es May ... bless you. You have such a huge heart.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. It is so great to hear about Emily. :) I'm afraid I don't really know who Ana is, I'll have to look around and see, but I have been praying since I heard about her.

      I do hope that the tears bring you release. :) You too have such a big heart, and it is so beautiful to see your love and care for others, it really shines through. :)

      Bless you too. {{{HUGS}}}

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  8. What a wonderful heartwarming post Es May. Thank you.

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    1. Thank you, I am honoured that it touched you. {{{HUGS}}}

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  9. I am one who cries buckets in private, but never in public (unless it's some silly sentimental commercial) But I so admire those who have the freedom to release tears whenever they feel they need to. You're right - it is such a blessing to find that release and it's also a comfort to those you are crying with.

    ♥ Cali

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    1. I find it really hard to cry in public too, not as in hard as in I can't, but I get really embarrassed and fight doing it with all I have in me. But sometimes the tears still win out. :( But I'm getting more and more used to them. I used to think they made me weak, but they don't. I hope and pray that if there are times you need to cry in public, that it will just happen for you. ;) Hope you still love me after that. :)

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    1. Thank you, Sassafrass. {{{HUGS}}}

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  11. Es May, this is very touching. I think Bas would have liked it a lot. Oddly, I don't think he would have scolded you for crying, much as he disliked making any of us cry. Actually, I think it always surprised him that we would cry over something he wrote, then was distressed he inadvertently caused that.

    I think after awhile he simply had to accept there would be both happy and sad tears because we care, and would look beyond that to the meaning of our words. Your words here about him, and your tears, are testament to the impact he had on all of us.

    Thank you for sharing, and big hugs,

    Irishey

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    1. thank you, Irishey. He always did have such a tender heart, never wanting to cause any of us pain. :) The tears are abating now and I'm remembering more with a smile. He'd be glad of that too, I'm sure. :)

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  12. Beautiful words - and I'm also quick to cry and I think that I'm happy that I can easily love and care then be hard...you know? It just shows me how important every person is that I come in contact with and how God can use anyone in our lives...as he did Bas.

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    1. Ashley, that is so true. :) We never really realize how much of an impact we make on others. And I'm the same, I'd rather be quick to cry than to turn hard.

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  13. Thank you for such encouraging words. So much going on in this community of the internet recently that one cannot help but shed a few tears. Being able to cry for one another, to feel the burden of those who are facing difficulties, strengthens the community. It strengthens the bond between people, and then anything is possible. The burden doesn't seem so heavy.

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    1. Jacquie, that was just beautiful! And those words are so true. We share our difficulties, and then the burdens don't seem so heavy.

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  14. Wonderful post my friend. You can find me also at http://justhissubwife.blogspot.com/

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Please feel free to leave any comments, but I do ask you to be kind. We go into this with eyes wide open after months of prayer, and a peace in our hearts that this is the right choice before God for our marriage. I am open to questions from those who wonder why we made this choice, but I would ask for no personal attacks. Thank you. :)

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