UNDER CONSTRUCTION

We had to take down all our posts for a while. We did not realize that to put them back up would repost them in everyone's feeds. We apologize for that. We also will do our best, as life allows, to get the rest of the posts up as soon as possible. :)

Sincerely, The Duke and EsMay

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Stress Relief Spankings, Need To Make A Note Of That

Spring Fling note at the bottom.

So, as you know from my last post, I was struggling on whether to ask the Duke to spank me or not.  I was going to ask for him, he seemed to have lost his spunk, and his joy.  So I asked him.  But it turns out that I needed the spanking more than he did.  It had been weeks since I'd been spanked, and I was being good, but I didn't realize that in the mean time I was getting my independence back, and with it, my stress levels.  I was having mini panic attacks I guess you would call them.  I'd be worrying, my heart would race, I'd have a hard time taking in deep breaths, and I'd get all tense.

Well, the Duke took me over his lap on Thursday night, and I found it nice to be there again, though a bit strange.  He started off with a warm up, and then used the pocket paddle from Blondie's.  (Can I just say that as much as I hate this little tool sometimes, it really is effective at getting me to submit, to break down, without ever any damage to my skin.  It is becoming my favourite implement quickly.)  It works so well that soon I was bawling.  I was a flat out broken down mess of tears, I could barely breathe, so many emotions were trying to release all at the same time.  The Duke pulled me up beside him on the bed and just held me as I cried it all out.  Work has been so stressful that I had no idea that the answer to my problems was so attainable.  It never crossed my mind to think about asking the Duke for a spanking for me.  I have no idea why.  We all talk about stress relief spankings, but when I needed one most, it never even entered into my head as a possibility.  I was even praying to be able to let the stress go, doing breathing exercises hoping to get the pounding of my heart to ease up and not hurt so much, and all I needed was a good old spanking.

The reset was wonderful.  I felt peace.  I felt the loss of control.  I felt myself let go.  I so needed that.  - So now to make a note of this somewhere so I don't forget next time! :)

And on Sunday, with his family still here, the Duke asked me to go lay down because I was so tired.  His dad, who is super passive too, chimed in literally as soon as the Duke stopped asking me to to say that I should go have a rest.  I was so surprised!  He's never done that before.  I think maybe his dad sees the difference in our marriage, and likes it.  :)  I hope so anyway. :)

The Duke told me yesterday that he loves his parents, but he also sees how hard his mother can be on his dad, especially over little things that wouldn't bother us at all.  He loves them, but he doesn't want to have their marriage either.  That hopefully will help him to keep wanting this lifestyle.  Sometimes I feel like he's still just playing at DD for my sake.  Sometimes he seems so sure, and at others, it seems like it's more for me.  I hope and pray there is a time where DD is something that just becomes who he is, it really is becoming just who I am.

So, I'll tell you quickly about my success this week for Spring Fling Challenge as well.  I've finished 9 weeks, so going into the last week.  As you know, I've been struggling with being able to lose size, and not weight.  So this week I tried something I have been researching about PCOS.  I wrestle with it, and apparently cutting out grains (not carbs) can help.  Well I cut out grains starting on Monday.  By Friday I lost 8 1/2 pounds in 4 days!  So on Saturday we visited my Grampy, and he had cake for me, and I gave in and had some.  Also had the Duke's family for the weekend, so we ate some grain on Sunday and yesterday.  I plan to go grain free again, but need a few days with how hard this week will be at work.

16 comments:

  1. You know your prayers were answered right? So you focused on the spanking for Duke's sake, but perhaps that was just your coping mechanism. The mind works in mysterious ways.

    I too have felt in the past that Barney was doing 'this' for me. He thought so too, but again his coping mechanism. Open your eyes a bit, or perhaps squint, you can see things that Duke is doing for ttwd. They may not be big and boisterous, but they are most likely there if you look at it with the correct mindset.

    Don't work too hard missy! You've been sick for soo long too often. Good luck in kicking grains to the curb. They are my crutch!
    willie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The mind does work in mysterious ways.:) And you are right, sometimes it can be harder than other to see what the Duke is doing for this, but that doesn't mean he isn't doing anything. If I look, I can see the differences and the effort.

      I'll try to not work too hard. :) And I hope to start again today or tomorrow with the no grains. I was really feeling so good after a few days off of them, and need to get back to that. It's just so much more work though to prepare something without grains. lol

      Delete
  2. I know how you feel. I sometimes think my H is just doing DD for my sake. But then when I tried pulling consent he got so upset and realized himself how much he does like it. They just seem to want it at a different pace then what we want. Grain free diet? I've never heard of it, I will have to check that out.
    Kim

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tried to pull consent as well once. Not for me, but I felt it was putting too much pressure on him. But he wouldn't let me. Grain free just means that you take grains out. All I'm avoiding is bread, pasta, rice and corn, and anything like that.

      Delete
  3. i feel this way too, sometimes. like i need to be spanked to reset everything. it's odd in a way, but it really does work. i'm so happy for you two. :)

    hugs,
    m.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. I really wish I had realized I needed the reset earlier, would have made everything so much easier to deal with.

      Delete
  4. Hi EsMay,

    Good on you for going to the Duke and asking, especially since it was something you thought he needed and you didn't. I'm so glad you recognised that you needed it as well and that you got the release you needed. I'm so happy that you are feeling reset. Spanking sometimes can be the perfect stress buster.

    I think most of us can relate to feeling as though our HoH is doing this for us, rather than it being something he wants. Sometimes this is the case in the beginning. However, once they start to see the benefits, it becomes something they equally want.

    Hugs,
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It felt weird asking him, but I really felt he needed it. In a way I think it helped him too, but I definitely received the most benefit I think. :) I do think the Duke is growing in seeing that he does want this as well. I hope it keeps growing. :)

      Delete
  5. kudos to you kiddo for finely asking for what you want, needed and realizing that your man is there for you. Now the big question of the day for me is are you going to continue to ask him for his help when you are out of sorts or are you going to slowly go into a funk and be unhappy until you really get a hard spanking.

    Bob

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, to be honest, I'm usually pretty good about asking for a spanking when I need one. I think this time was because we'd stopped the maintenance spankings, so it's been a few weeks since I'd been spanked. So when things started to spin out of control for me, I didn't even think about DD being the answer. I think now that I realized this important fact, it'll be easier to remember next time. :)

      Delete
  6. Hey you :)

    First of all, well do e in the weight loss. I'm the other way round, I can't eat carbs or I put on weight, so I don't eat any, at all :)

    Glad you did ask for the spanking and that it helped. Sometimes we just can't see the forest for the trees :) keep at it, it's working well, you just need to believe in it and trust x

    Yes we all get the feeling sometimes that they're only doing it for us, but if you look closely you realise that's not the case, even if they don't do it OUR way, they're still doing it, THEIR way x

    Take it easy honey, it sounds like you still need to recover from all the illnesses x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Missy, I so could not do no carbs at all. Wow. That must really limit what you are able to eat? Well, it's probably good he's not totally doing it my way, or I'd feel like I was topping from the bottom. :)

      I will try to take it easy. :) I do feel like I might still be recovering. Still tired more than I should be. I'll keep working at getting better. :)

      Delete
  7. I know how you feel about wondering if they do DD for our sake, or for them too. I worry about that a lot, but then I realize that I need to STOP worrying, lol. A lot easier than it sounds right?

    Try to just let go, and let him take the reins. It certainly sounds like he wants to.

    And good for you with the weight loss. :) Congrats

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL that is what I need to do, STOP WORRYING. LOL I'll work on that. ;) And thank you, going to keep plugging at it, and hoping more comes off.

      Delete
  8. Hi EsMay,

    Wow! Congratulations! 8 1/2 pounds in a week! That's always exciting when you find what works for you (everyone is so different).

    (I've got to try that no grains thing since I have pcos too - but I'm always worried that my age will work against me, lol. Where did you find that info? Just curious - maybe I could read up on it too.)

    And that's really great that the Duke took care of you like he did; and the reaffirmation he received when he saw in his parent's marriage what he doesn't want to see in your marriage. I think it's helpful to have a visual, whether it's a positive or a negative, to keep us on track.

    :) Cali

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have a friend that sends me the PCOS review every week or two, or however often it comes out. :) It's said often for a long time that giving up grains seems to help PCOS suffers the most along with exercise. Both are key. So I fell off the wagon on the weekend, and readying things so that hopefully tomorrow is my day back on. My parents are here for the weekend, so going to think tonight about if I want to start tomorrow, or Monday. But once I start back up, I don't want to stop, so that is why I'll think it over. But I am definitely doing it again, I felt so great, but the first couple days ARE hard.

      And the Duke is so great.:) I don't always appreciate him near enough. I think the visual was great.:) I'll have to see how it affects things from here on in.:)

      Delete

Please feel free to leave any comments, but I do ask you to be kind. We go into this with eyes wide open after months of prayer, and a peace in our hearts that this is the right choice before God for our marriage. I am open to questions from those who wonder why we made this choice, but I would ask for no personal attacks. Thank you. :)

Troll comments and spam will be deleted.