UNDER CONSTRUCTION

We had to take down all our posts for a while. We did not realize that to put them back up would repost them in everyone's feeds. We apologize for that. We also will do our best, as life allows, to get the rest of the posts up as soon as possible. :)

Sincerely, The Duke and EsMay

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Learned Not To Say "No"

I PURPOSEFULLY said no to the Duke yesterday.

Yes, you read that right.  Me, usually submissive to a fault, flat out said NO.... REPEATEDLY.  *gulp* 

You see, the Duke hasn't been following through.  But he does want to do our first boot camp next weekend.  PRAY FOR MY BEHIND!!!  We bought the book in February, the beginners one, but couldn't do it then because I worked weekends.  Then I was sick... and the Duke waited.  Now apparently I'm all better and in fine form for bootcamp.

Anyone have any contagious colds or flus they want to send my way!???? :)

So, anyway, I was catching up on blogs yesterday and came across Christina's post about the same book we were looking at.  In her post she has a link that goes to her posts about the bootcamp she and Jim did about a year ago.  I decided to skim through them, and then saw the schedule they'd hope to keep during it.  I then curiously STUPIDLY asked if I learned things that might help us with DD, did I have to share?  He said yes.  But then I chickened out.  There schedule has a LOT more spanking than the beginners book has, according to the little the Duke has told me. 

Soon he demanded that I show it to him.  I said no.  He told me again.  I said no.  Then he said "Please?"  Okay, so see, I could see I was winning.  I said no again.  I didn't want my behind tanned more than it needed to be.  :(  But over the course of the next half hour he kept telling me to send it, but sort of laughing.  Since he's had no follow through the last few weeks, and he didn't really seem serious, I brushed it off.  I mean, this was all for my own good... right?

So then he told me he wanted to do maintenance.  I told him that with all the inconsistency lately, I just didn't feel I could honestly be submissive with him.  I felt confused.  I was getting mixed signals.  Some days I'd have to step up and get things done, and then the next, he'd take over and back again.  I told him I needed to know, was I in charge, or was he?  I went about my business.

But then five minutes later I'm being forced into the bedroom.  Told to sit on the bed while he closes the windows in the apartment. I really did think about running off, but as soon as I opened the door I chickened, so I closed it again and plunked my bottom right back on the bed.  He came back and gave one tough spanking session.  Even the warm up was hard.  He told me that when he tells me something, no matter if he seems serious or not, if he tells me he means it, he means it.  So it wasn't a maintenance spanking, it was a full out punishment one.

It actually hurt today when I sat down on a picnic table. :(  But it was so worth it.  And let me tell you, the man that didn't know how to lecture?  SURE got his groove on yesterday!  I felt so chastised in the end, so scolded and so disappointed in myself for disappointing him.

I think this was good.  Not just for me, but for him.  It's the first time he's stepped up when I fought a punishment.  Okay, so I haven't fought them up until now.  I told him I wanted him to work on this, not that I plan to fight him often, or hope to not at all, but if I do, he has the right to take over.  He is always so worried about pushing his way.  I told him when he's a parent, there will be times our kids will try to talk him out of punishing them, and with how he is now, they might win.  So if this helps him, then I'm glad. :)  But my poor bottom in the mean time!

10 comments:

  1. Wow. Good luck with the boot amp. We haven't been brave enough yet but were thinking about it. I know there are mixed reviews but I can't help but wonder if the familiarity won't break through any lingering discipline awkwardness.
    Bea

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, that is what I am wondering too. :) I'll let you know how I survive next weekend! :)

      Delete
  2. Good luck with Boot Camp. As for purposely saying no. I've done it before too. Its not something that happens all the time. I'm glad he gt his groove with lecture, thats great for you :)

    Callie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Callie. :) I feel bad about challenging him, but not what happened afterwards. He's been really paying attention, even bought the new book from LDD about inconsistency, and studied a lot yesterday on how to do bootcamps. Augh, lol.

      Delete
  3. Wow- brave woman for giving him information on boot camp! We've read plenty about it but haven't talked about trying it yet. In my personal experience, telling him 'no' is a way to test the boundaries to see how firm or flexible those lines are. It's not something I do often, but there are times that I need a clearer idea of where the boundary line is for the future. Sounds like you found it! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, well Kim, as you can see... I didn't do so willingly. LOL :) Yes, I think that was part of it, testing the boundaries, the rest was testing the inconsistency. Which then, when later that day the LDD book came out about it, he bought it. ;)

      Delete
  4. Did you want to go back and alter your comment on my post? lol. I hope that you manage to achieve what you want to with boot camp.

    love, willie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL No, I'll leave it. :) Right now my goal with bootcamp is to make it out alive. :) Other than that, I have no wishes so far. LOL I'm actually getting VERY nervous. I'm very open with the Duke... but know there could be more, those last walls... is it alright if I FREAK OUT a bit!??? :)

      Delete
  5. Hi Es May,

    Ooh, good luck with boot camp.

    I think we all have our moments from time to time of saying no. It's good the Duke found his groove with lecturing.

    Hugs,
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Roz. If you don't hear from me next week, send out a search party after the boot camp??? ;) I'm glad he got his groove too, now to see if it lasts... which something tells me, it might. :)

      Delete

Please feel free to leave any comments, but I do ask you to be kind. We go into this with eyes wide open after months of prayer, and a peace in our hearts that this is the right choice before God for our marriage. I am open to questions from those who wonder why we made this choice, but I would ask for no personal attacks. Thank you. :)

Troll comments and spam will be deleted.