I am going to try to write this on the sly. The parents are visiting. :)
So, I meant to get on yesterday, and write to you about the last few days, but then I got into deep cleaning the rest of my house, and once I started, couldn't seem to stop. And since I so rarely am like this, decided to keep with the motivation as long as it lasted! :) I gutted out areas I haven't in a while, reorganized areas that weren't really bad, but weren't as neat as I would like, and so on. My place has not looked this good in years! :)
Anyway, so in the midst of that, I had an hour between finishing up and them arriving here, and so I spent it putting fresh bedding on their bed, and then I just relaxed. So I am sorry I lied and didn't write yesterday as promised. :)
So, the thing that I was going over in my head the other day was the sudden, and shocking, want to take control. Ever since we married, I tell the Duke every time I spend money. Be it even a dollar, he knows about it because I tell him the next time I see him. He's never asked me to do so, but I once was with a woman shopping, and she bought a bunch of stuff. She told me not to tell her husband because she'd already maxed out the credit cards, and she'd hide the clothes she'd bought during that trip and slowly start wearing them. That REALLY bothered me. So I tell the Duke now every single time I spend money. BUT, on Thursday, I didn't want to do this. I really didn't want to do this. :( And I'm still not sure why. I had gone to a local 50's diner and told him about that. But then the friends going back to the UK had the afternoon free to hang out with me, and the husband of the couple really wanted to get an ice cream at Dairy Queen, so we went there. I only spent a few dollars, but I didn't want to tell the Duke about it. He actually called me on his break (I had his cell for the day) and wanted to see how I was doing. I was at DQ and didn't tell him!
Also, I made another purchase that day that I didn't want to talk to him about. The Duke's birthday is in March, and mine is in May. So my parents give us money for our birthday's in the middle. So, we already had the money, and the Rival 16q Roaster was on sale for $40!!! I didn't even know such a thing existed. How much easier would cooking holiday meals be if I could have the oven free of a bird??? I wouldn't have to time making dressing that takes an hour, around making sure the turkey/chicken was still warm!
So I saw it on sale on Saturday. I thought and debated about it all week. One, to keep my rule of thinking things over before I buy them, and two, I usually don't spend my birthday money until it's actually my birthday. But when something is like 70% off, you sometimes have to bend the rules. ;) So I bought it, but when the Duke seemed all surprised, happy, but surprised to see it in the car on Thursday when I picked him up from work, I didn't want to talk about it. So two things in one day that I didn't want to let him in on.
Why? Not that any of you will have an answer. I just, still don't know why that was. In fact, I felt like he has NO RIGHT to know. That is so against everything I have thought since the very beginning of our marriage. I wonder if part of it is that the Duke wasn't stepping up to the bat as much this week. He kind of backed off quite a bit... and maybe that was it. I understand emotionally he was feeling distant this week, but it was also pushing me away. But still, I don't think that was it.
I did finally, about five minutes into our trip home, did admit to the DQ ice cream and to buying the roaster. But I still don't know why I was hesitant. Once I admitted these to him, I no longer felt he had no right to know, but until then, I did.
If any of you have any idea of what is going on, PLEASE feel free to share! :)
Okay, so Dad is ready to do some stuff, so I have to sign off, but I promise tomorrow or Monday to catch up on all your blogs! Thanks for being such a wonderful community, I have made so many great friends on here! See you all later. :)