UNDER CONSTRUCTION

We had to take down all our posts for a while. We did not realize that to put them back up would repost them in everyone's feeds. We apologize for that. We also will do our best, as life allows, to get the rest of the posts up as soon as possible. :)

Sincerely, The Duke and EsMay

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Words From My Grampy

So my Grampy called today.  He is the only grandparent I have left, and being in my thirties, I feel very blessed to still have him.

Somehow we got to talking about marriage, and he brought up how marriages today had things all messed up.  He talked about how it used to be that men did what they thought was best for the marriage, and women obeyed.  There was no power struggle, and the marriage worked because one person had to be in charge, both couldn't be.  If he had talked about this last year I would have placated him and agreed while quietly thinking how sad it was that he had it all wrong.

But tonight?  I told him that that is how Hubby and I live our life now.  I told him that I have given the reigns over to Hubby, and that I still help make decisions, but that now I obey Hubby, and if we can't come to an agreement to something, I step back and give way for Hubby to lead.  He said that was good, but only if my husband treated me with love.  He said obedience can only be given to one who truly loves.  So I told him that Hubby really does love me, and shared with him the story the other night of Hubby making me lie down because he was afraid I'd fall.  My Grampy was so proud of my Hubby, and seemed very pleased with what I told him about how we've decided to do our marriage.  I did not tell him about the rest of the DD dynamic, that is just for us.  But if you had told me that the person I know in real life to know the most about our lifestyle in any form would be my Grampy, I would have flat out told you that you were freakin' out of your MIND!  lol

But it felt right to tell him, for some reason.  Now, my Grampy is a big man, and even in his late seventies I'd worry that he could take Hubby on and do real damage, so even if I was tempted, I'd never share about the spankings, just in case, but still, I feel so much freer!

Tonight was another maintenance.  Let me just say, my other cat is back home, and HE'S A BIG TRAITOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He's been home for a few weeks now, and apparently has figured out that spanking time is no threat to him, the little Brat.  So I'm getting spanked, and he comes to the bed and meows, and then jumps up.  Looks around for a minute, then walks over my trembling legs and comes up to my head to be petted!  I'm otk, with Hubby sitting up with his back near the headboard.  As if this weren't bad enough, my cat leaves for a minute, and then comes back, and literally lays down to take a nap with his back pressed into my flailing legs, his butt less than a foot away from where mine is taking a beating.  Seriously???  And then Hubby holds the wooden spoon he's been using up to the brat, he rubs his face against it, all purry like.  I sit up and hold it up and he'll have nothing to do with it.  Hubby holds it up again and he rubs his face over it again. 

I'm no longer Queen Bee!!!!! :(  Everyone in the house officially knows it now.  This actually hurts a little.  Me and my wounded pride are just going to go off and sulk in a corner for a while.  Hopefully we'll be back out for breakfast!  ;)  ;)  (Not an official corner time, just me sulking in my head)  lol 

14 comments:

  1. Wow, you are braver than me. I don't think I will ever get the nerve to actually tell anyone why my marriage works.

    Hugs,
    TL

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    1. I still can't believe I did, but he was actually the one that started the conversation, and it just seemed natural to let him know that I agreed. LOL *blush*

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  2. That is so funny that it is the older generation that understands how to make a marriage work sometimes.
    Personally, the cat has got to go and you need to make it loud and clear that you are the Queen of the Castle and that is how it is always going to be. Your husband is the King and all the rest are mere townsfolks!

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    1. Yeah, so true. Well I look at it like this, they didn't believe in divorce, so they had to find what worked to make it last. And this is definitely one great way to make it last. Hehehe, I can't make the kitty go, he's my baby. LOL I guess I may still be queen of the castle, but I used to be queen as in ruler, now I'm second fiddle. ;)

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  3. Hi Es May, how fascinating what your Grampy said to you. Not totally surprising that it's the older generation that get it though I guess.

    OMG, neither of our cats would do that, they run a mile as soon as it even looks like there's going to be a spanking. They have a pained look on their face like "oh no, not again" (tell me about it!).

    He is a traitor indeed and ask Blondie said, needs to know you are Queen of the castle. I think if I were you I would probably have swatted him with the spoon LoL

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. LOL Yeah, one of my cats is like that, and I've been thinking really hard about it this morning, because the cat that came to me last night was an abused stray. If anyone should be afraid, it's him. But then I realized. He laid against my leg like he does when I'm sick or crying, so now I'm wondering if he was actually trying to comfort me.... *GULP* now I feel bad. LOL

      Yeah, I feel like I should go to my Grampy and have more discussions about marriage. We talk about a lot of things, but not usually marriage. Gram passed away 6 years ago, and it's been hard. But I think I'll see if he brings it up again and then go for a nice long talk. :)

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  4. Lol Esmay

    See you got to get you a dooooog, I'm telling you, they're so much better at defending your poor backside lol

    Wow telling your grandad, I wouldn't tell anyone in my family, either they would think he's hit me so hard on the head that Ive lost my mind, or they'll think I'm taking the P*** lol

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    1. Hehehe, I REALLY want a dog someday, a BIG one. :) I love big dogs. I'd want a black lab if I could find a family line that doesn't have bad hips. :)

      HAHAHA, yeah, I only told him because he was trying to give me advice on having a good marriage. :) And so I admitted I was already doing what he suggested, *BLUSH* lol I never mentioned the spankings though, no way, no how, no do! Not even if he ever said my Hubby should, I won't admit to it. LOL

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  5. Thats awesome that you've been able to tell someone so close to you. I hope that I'll be able to one day.

    Callie

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    1. It feels nice. Like I said, didn't mention the spankings, but just knowing someone's in my corner, understanding that I'm doing good by submitting to my Hubby... makes me feel even more secure now. I don't know why, but it does. I wish someday I could talk to my parents about it. Mom runs over Dad, and it's horrible. He's become a doormat in order to make the marriage work, but it isn't who he is. I wouldn't want to witness it, but she really needs a good otk session! ;) I really think it would help them out.

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  6. Wonderful that you were able to tell your grandpa this bit about your married life.

    We have a cat too and she only cares about herself. We lock her out during spankings though. I'm not sure how she would react. She's a little on the nutty side ;)

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    1. HAHAHA, cats are so funny. They have so much personality, if I believed in reincarnation, I'd swear they were humans in another life. ;)

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  7. So your Grandpa has had a DD marriage and he considered that normal. Probably without ever calling it DD.
    It is a bit of an answer to a question that Mg posed on my blog today about the number of people "doing" DD.
    Do you count all the people that do DD without knowing it? Just because they think it is a good way to organize a marriage?

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    1. Hey Bas. :) I don't know, I feel that with Grampy, that he has a leader/submissive marriage. But he always said he never laid a hand on her... so I wouldn't know how to balance it. Also, he grew up abused, and for a while, repeated the cycle until he realized how wrong it was to hurt his kids... he stopped and his kids learned a lot of love from him after that, but with all that, I'd have to do some thinking on that.

      I am not sure I understand your question sorry, but I'll answer what I think you might mean. :) I'm guessing there is a great number of people doing DD without knowing it, it is probably far greater than we ever know. I mean, it has not been a long time it's been called DD, but it was a way of life for generations. But as my Grampy said, only if submission is given to one that truly loves can submission really work. He also said that submission only works when you trust your husband to do what he feels is best.

      It does worry me that there are marriages of submission where the submission is forced, and to me that is straight up abuse. But for our marriage, we work on love, trust, and filling each other's needs.

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