I had a moment of panic this morning. I get on and it says my account has been compromised, and that my blog was deleted! I had to go through a verification process to get my account back. :( And thankfully when I got verified, my blog showed back up! I was thinking the other day I should back up my posts. Now tonight that is exactly what I'll have to do!
Last night I got my husband to check on my bottom because I thought that it felt good, but something me kept feeling like I should have him check it. We don't really have any mirrors that are low, and the one that is, it's in a room with bad lighting, so I just never bothered to check for myself.
Imagine my surprise when he says that my bottom is all bruised! I actually got him to take a picture so that I could see, it was that, or get a flash light for the one mirror I could have used. LOL It has a number of bruises, and the funny thing is, they don't hurt at all. The even weirder thing is that I don't bruise. I've only bruised a few times in my life, and they involved bad accidents or broken bones.
So we decided last night that we will not be using the loopy anymore unless he uses it softer, or for very serious infractions. We also talked about doing a butt rub/massage like LDD talks about after the warm up. We don't really do that because I don't bruise, and weren't worried about brusing. Now we'll definitely be making sure we do that! :)
So lately I've seen some good changes in me. I've listed some that I've seen in my husband a few weeks ago, but feel I should admit to the changes in me.
1. The other day I was very frustrated with my husband. Instead of attacking him, I calmly went off to be by myself to process. Normally I would have cut him down... sadly. :( But this time I made sure to be able to calm down before talking to him.
2. Last night my husband decided to get take out, and got me the wrong thing. Normally this would have really aggravated me, and even made me yell at him for asking what I wanted in the first place and then not getting it. Last night I didn't do that. And it was evident how much I had done it in the past because my husband was all worked up and apologizing. I told him it was no biggy, and actually told him that he was the HOH, so if I did have a problem with it, and if I did yell at him, that disrespect is one of the four D's that I am not allowed to do.
3. I am having a lot more control over eating than I thought I could. I don't even feel controlled, or missing my treats. Today I go back to work, so I might miss them then, but so far, no.
4. It felt great to clean the other day because it was expected of me. It was great to have my husband come home and tell me how proud of me he was. Normally I wouldn't have worked so hard. Normally I would have forced myself through the process. But not this time.
5. I find myself asking for permission more. And I'm no longer just accepting invitations out to places anymore. If someone wants to come over, or wants us to go out, I tell them I have to check with my husband first. (Oh yeah, Sweetie, I've forgotten to ask you for two days now about my dad visiting) LOL He reads this, so that'll make me remember to ask. lol
So life is more relaxing, my husband is happier and feels that he doesn't have to be worried all the time about me anymore. He's very happy with how things are going, and we continue to talk about what we're learning, and learning that we make mistakes, and that is okay. I told him I'm not even worried about the bruises because I honestly feel fine. I'm not sore today, and I know some people are for days afterwards. He believed me after we talked for a couple of minutes. And I'm glad.
I can't wait to see the ways I grow more and more into the wife he needs. :) I'm so glad for this change.